Is it offensive to receive a weight loss book from a relative?

Question

My sister is obese & won't acknowledge her weight. She is only 4'10", but is a size 10! She exercises a lot, but doesn't realize that if she eats six HUGE meals a day & ends with a FULL 10pm meal, that she won't lose any weight due to her binging all day. I don't want to offend her, but I would like to help her. Diabetes & heart disease is huge in my family. My sister & her husband are appointed guardians if my husband & I die. I would hate to have my children lose their parents & then their aunt & uncle due to things that could be changed. Please tell me if you would take offense to a gift such as this for Christmas. Do you think it would be more appropriate to give it when it is not a holiday or birthday? Thanks!

I have tried talking to my sister when we are out & she says she is starving at 10pm. I will order some fruit & she will order a heap of loaded nachos & race to eat it. I know how hard it is to lose weight when people are constantly dogging you. The book wasn't meant to offend her. Really, I'm not that mean! I have even thought about getting her a week's worth of low-fat foods so she doesn't have to cook & to also see that low-fat doesn't mean tasteless or bland, but I found out that wasn't in my budget. Thanks for the suggestions, thus far!

Ok, her husband loves the show, 'The Biggest Loser'. I know they have cookbooks for that show. Would it be offensive if I gave the cookbook to her husband since he is a big fan or is that just as bad?

4'10", 165 lbs. 33 BMI. Yes, that is obese.

Answer 1

You appointed your sister as your children's guardian should something happen to you. Therefore , I take it you two are relatively close. With that said, you should talk to her....lovingly. You know your sister enough to be able to bring it up w/o being offensive. Then get her a book as a follow-up to the conversation or during the conversation depending on when and where you talk. I wouldn't give it to her as a present for the holiday's nor for her birthday. Yes, of course that would be offensive. When in doubt, don't do it. Give her something you know she would appreciate at those time. And give the book on an off time.

Answer 2

Yeah, that would be pretty offensive. You don't say how old she is, but if she's older than 12 she's probably aware that eating a lot is making her fat. Even if she's younger she probably has some idea. Isn't there a way you could help keep her more active? Could you get her to ride a bike with you or go for a walk or something? If you sneak some fun exercise in it would burn some calories and keep her out of the kitchen for a while in a much more subtle way. Maybe even something like getting her a Dance Dance Revolution game could help. Constantly reminding her that she's fat will probably make her feel worse and more likely to overeat. If you really think she's clueless then you'll have to find some way to tell her that she needs to cut back, but other than that, getting her active would be a good first step.

Answer 3

Well it all depends on the mind of the reciever, but in 98 % of the ppl would get offended by such a gift.
And yes, defintely dont give it in front of other ppl or on occasions like Christmas, it would ruin it for her mostly.
Though I am sure she knows you are concerned for her genuinely, which is very sweet, and she should be glad for it.

Also once people receive books as gifts they always dont read it. She must have an open mindframe and a real enthusiasm for it herself, which needs to come from within her... and u could help in that if she ever wants to talk about her "weight" problem HERSELF with you. Mind you it could be tricky if you start the topic of her weight problem... start a topic abt a friend or something with medical problems due to her weight etc. like someone having Hypothyroid and putting on weight.. just any thing, u know what I mean here... :p - ... so that she talks abt her own problem then to you (if she thinks she has any :-)). And then when she states her concern etc, you can give her the book. So this way, ur the good police here as she is in the receptive mode of listening about her weight problem, and she doesnt get offended, infact shed gratefully accept it and everyones happy n healthy! :)

Answer 4

I found the book to be very informative and easy to read.

I've lost 17 pounds in 12 days, I'm just concerned that I'm losing too much weight, too quickly. I will admit I haven't followed the guide exactly. I'm not sticking perfectly to the listed foods and meal plans (but mostly) and doing very little exercise, but the weight keeps flying off.

It clearly works and if I'd followed it exactly I think it would scare the living daylights out of me because of the amount that I'd lose. So thanks again for the information. I've never purchased anything like this before because they are usually full of trash, but 3WD has been a pleasant surprise.

Get started today!

Answer 5

My mom gave a book on how to improve posture to my sister in law and she took huge offence at it. Not like she's ugly on anything, but her posture does need improvement.
I'd say don't give it as a Christmas present.
Some people are more sensitive to their problem areas then other. I think there is a way to tell. If she never talks about being overweight she probably will take offence at it any time you give it. If she constantly talks about being fat and wanting to lose weight then yeah, it's a good gift but not for Christmas.

Answer 6

She is a size 10, not a size 20. Perhaps she is a little overweight, but to say she is obese is absurd and yes it is offensive to buy her a weight loss book unless she has personally expressed her wishes to diet.

Medically speaking she should no have more than 30% body fat and her waist should be no more than 28/29 inches for her height.....clothes size and weight is pretty irrelevant actually. There are lots of very lean women wearing larger clothes sizes who would be considered overweight according to the scale, yet their body fat percentages are perfectly healthy.

Answer 7

Your concerns are quite legitamate, but a gift is not the best way to get the message across. Most overweight people know how to eat properly-they simply don't. Often, overeating is the result of compensating for another aspect of life that isn't quite right or seems somehow overwhelming. You might want to spend some time talking with your sister to see if you can't figure out just what the real issue is and tackle that sister to sister. You can also use the "best way to learn something is by teaching it" principle and say to her, "I'm concerned that I'm going to get heart disease or diabetes. Do you know what I can do about it?" Put yourself in the position of being the one taught rather than being the teacher. This will give your sister the opportunity to take care of YOU and in the process of "teaching" you she will learn preventative measures and facts for herself. Her behavior may not change, but all you can do is get her to learn facts. The best gift would be playing the dumb sister and seeing if you can't get the facts across in a non-threatening way though having HER be the teacher.

Answer 8

It is definately offensive. Please don't give her the book for christmas, it's supposed to be a happy time and a time when you can forget your problems not be reminded of them. I'm sure she knows she has a weight problem even though she hasn't said anything to you about it. Giving her the book will probably hurt her feelings and upset her. Talk to her after christmas about your concerns.

Answer 9

It is OK to give her the book anytime and say it in a nice way. If I were your sister, I wouldn't be offended because I would know the book is out of your concern and not for insulting. It would also be great if you would give it in a holiday especially if you two are close with each other and your sister is a jolly person but make sure you give it to her in a private party with no outsiders and just you and your family to avoid tensions. Also make sure that she doesn't feel annoyed or shy when you give it to her. If your sister likes jokes, then make her feel comfortable by giving witty phrases while she opens/sees the gift.
I hope she wouldn't be offended and Good Luck to you.

Answer 10

I don't think that it would be appropriate to purchase a weight loss book for her. This may hurt her feelings. She is all ready aware that she has a weight problem. No need to reinforce this.