Are we really a society that values looks over substance? I've heard arguments where you need to "flash the bait in order to get nibbles" and the only way a person will want to get to know you is if they notice you in the first place. So, I ask you, are the plain and ordinary people who are "great guys" and "awesome friends" doomed to a life of loneliness just because they don't have the rippling abs and chiseled jawline or are not "Fit, athletic, or in shape"? Let me know what you think.
2007-12-07 20:28:14 · 13 answers · asked by cardpackrat 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you know exactly how i feel about this issue. you're getting new jeans whether you like it or not, mister!
2007-12-10 06:43:34 · answer #1 · answered by trillian 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These things you mention are not what's dooming you. I'm sure if you look into your past you can find a girl or two(most likely more) that were attracted to you but you said no. Why is this? This is the question you need to be asking. Why can't I bring myself to be attracted to the people who are attracted to me? Why do I keep pining for women who are unavailable to me?
If you really believe you need rippling abs to get women then get rippling abs. But that's not the way it's supposed to be right? People are supposed to look for inner beauty, right? If that's true why don't you go for fat women who have a great personality? Because you care about looks. This isn't a bad thing. It's a human thing. It's part of who you are as a man. Sure, looks aren't everything. They aren't nothing. They're something. Just like personality is something. Attraction is a complicated thing based on many factors, like timing, race, age, do you remind them of someone they admire or loved before etc. Some women don't like the athletic type. Maybe the women YOU want go for the athletic type. If this is then go to the gym and get athletic.
But all this thinking doesn't work because what you really want is for someone to love you for who YOU are, not for how you look. You want to be loved unconditionally for no other reason than just because you're you. This IS a real need and you DO deserve this kind of love. Unfortunately, it's not one that can be satisfied by a romantic relationship. Go to therapy. Join support groups if you can. Talk to friends. Read self-help books. Work out issues with your parents, the ones who were supposed to love you for who you were but fell short.
2007-12-08 06:55:07 · answer #2 · answered by LG 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, being in shape is not something most guys are born with - they have to BE athletic and work out etc to get the ripping abs. Bottom-line is, there are things you can do to overcome the things you lack natrually if you care about it enough. Fitness is something that is important to one's life so it's not just a shallow trait that women look for. Why don't you try to work on that a bit and see if your luck turns? It's great that you have a personality but taking care of your looks isn't that hard either.
2007-12-07 20:46:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not at all doomed.
Unfortunately (and yes, it is a sad reflection on our society) at least in younger years, looks tend to be given more importance, but that doesn't mean it won't happen at all for the "ordinary" people.
It may take longer to find someone, but in the end, the ordinary people tend to end up with better, longer lasting relationships because of the "great guys" and "awesome friends" they have learned to be. It just takes a little longer to find someone who can see past the shiny good looks and get to the substance beneath it.
:)
2007-12-07 20:41:49 · answer #4 · answered by Jenna M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The nice and caring guy thats doomed by his lack of good looks, should just find a nice and caring woman. So then they wouldn't have to worry about being lonely.
2007-12-07 20:31:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No he is not doomed, but a relationship without attraction is. The upside to this is that sometimes you like someone so much for his personality that you see how beautiful he truly is and start becoming attracted anwyay.
2007-12-07 20:35:05 · answer #6 · answered by mscallicat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah our media has gone f*cked up our mentality and has placed value on people with good vocal cords and symmetrical faces...we are officially devolving as a species. Oh, and people that arent fit just says that they do nothing and sit around a lot..so being fit is a good requirement because it says that they are active and actually do interesting things
2007-12-07 20:37:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
have confidence me, even gruesome men care approximately seems. It would not actual matter notwithstanding if or no longer they're stable looking or uncomplicated or no longer. it actual relies upon on the guy. some warm men DO care, some do no longer. some superb men DO care, some do no longer. returned, it merely relies upon how the lads view women people or men.
2016-10-01 03:22:41 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who you are in the inside has character and goes a long way a far as "good looks" are concerned. Your appearance changes as you get older but character doesn't (if you're real).
For who you are in the inside determines whether you go to Heaven or Hell not your outward appearance! lol
2007-12-08 04:39:40 · answer #9 · answered by KBLand25 J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no way, from the other side guys are way more shallow for hot girls. most girls even have a fake look to um, and guys sooo go for that. i have always been real, and guys have always fell in love with that.
2007-12-07 20:38:38 · answer #10 · answered by sO*happy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems so sometimes. I know a guy that's super nice but has been single for a long time.
2007-12-08 16:49:55 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋