driving me nuts...help?

Question

I have a 7 year old and a 2 year old. I have just left work to be on maternity leave. My kids spent a lot of time at day care cause I was working and going to school. Now that I have them they are driving me nuts. I don't know what to do. I am trying to follow the schedule the daycare provider had them on but they are really not cooperating with me. My two year old refuses to take naps and my seven year old spends like an hour and a half most nights screaming (literally) that she doesn't want to sleep in her room and that she wants to live with her dad. I am trying so hard to stay calm and be a good mom but I just don't know how to handle all the screaming they do. What am I doing wrong??? Why are they fighting with me so much? They are not like this with there babysitter. Please Help!!!

Answer 1

Would their father be the sort of person to put them up to doing something like this? The 2 year old (terrible twos) is probably realizing that he/she isn't going to be the "baby" anymore (since you're pregnant). The 7 year old is in the 1st grade, & learning (from someone else's problem-children) new ways to torture parents. If it takes 1 1/2 hours to get them to bed, start that much earlier at putting them to bed. At the same time, let them know that the only way they can stay up later is to stop giving you a hard time at "bedtime". Get input from your baby-sitter, & buy some of those soft-foam earplugs (& maybe some brandy for after they're asleep). Learn "tough-love" -- take away things they like when they mis-behave, even if it means taking down posters, or cutting short the TV & video-game time. Let them know there will be consequences for bad behavior. Seek the cooperation of their father. If all else fails, seek therapy (for them &/or you).

Answer 2

You sure have your hands full, and it seems you are the only adult in the home.

If your 7 year old is acting out, maybe it's because her dad isn't there anymore... especially if he has not been gone long. The emotional needs of our kids really need to be addressed when the parents break up.

Be consistent with the 7 year old.. Don't bargain, just be constant... you're the adult. Let her scream... and maybe consider therapy or a talk with her pediatrician about her behaviors at this time, as well. Maybe she misses the social life she had with other kids? I can't say what the problem might be, i'm not there, hon.

Same for the 2 year old about consistency.

You have to be worn out if you're pregnant on top of all this...

do you have a friend or sister, or other relative who might be able to come over once in a while to help?

I sure hope you get good answers here. take care.

Answer 3

They're testing you, that's all! Start setting clear, consistant bounderies and stick to them. Stay calm but don't allow them to dictate to you how they will behave. Your 7 year old is using manipulation by saying she wants to live with her father, she's just hoping that you'll let her do as she wishes, wanting to be the 'favourite' parent. Your 2 year old is in the terrible twos and is copying your daughter's behaviour.

Keep in mind that they have just undergone a HUGE lifestyle change. Obvioulsly they would rather be with you than a babysitter, but it's still new and different for them.
If the daycare schedule they were on isn't working for you, gradually change it and see if that helps.
Mostly you need to step up the discipline. Let them see that YOU are calm, in control, and in charge. Be consistant and persistant, don't let them win the battles over sleeping and not cooperating with you. After a bit of time things will settle down and they'll realise that you're the boss and they will adapt to their new way of life. Hang in there, it will get better!
Good luck :=)

Answer 4

They are adjusting to their new routine and testing the boundries with you...dont yell back...if your daughter is yelling at the same time every night, have a look what she is eating an hour or two before beditme...any sugar will make her do this if she is sensitive...sugar can hid in the most healthy seeming foods and drinks....if she has juice then only give her pure jice not the sort you dillute....make the hour before bedtime a peaceful one...not dvds or tv but a little bit of crafting or reading together,,,,youll get there, its all new!

Answer 5

its obvious that they are wanting your attention. try not to spend your whole day with school... and maybe you need to enforce your rules boundaries and limitations. if you tell them to sleep in there room and enforce(with a capital E) those rules if they holler scream... take a privilege away... you can tell by your choice of words that they are at that stage where mommy daddy matter most, but sometimes mom,dad cant be there so just let them know that,and don't hide anything from them. tell them about your day. go to church on Sunday. God will show you the way...


good luck with the new baby
God bless

Answer 6

Have they had the opportunity to choose what they want with-in your boundaries? It may seem crazy, but letting them make up the rules a little helps them feel more in control, without having to be your boss.
Push come to shove, be realistic and patient, you might just have to let them wear them self out to get what is right. It's not the easy way, but they give in eventually.
Once you set the schedule with them, stick too it, consistency is important. Even small changes can mess up the routine enough to make things difficult.

Answer 7

I can't help you that much with the seven-year-old, except to ask her dad to step in and be supportive of you here. He can tell her she needs to cut it out.

With the younger child's naptime, go beyond the regular routine. Talk to the teacher about the process of naptime at daycare. My youngest was always good about naptime at school, but not at home. So I asked how they got him to lay down, and realized the difference was that the room was dark (his bedroom is sunny), he's got soft music playing, and most importantly, there is an adult supervising naptime. I had been putting him in his bedroom, but not staying right there. So that weekend, I put him down for a nap on a little mat like he had at school, in the computer room (it's darker). I hooked up Itunes to play some of the kind of music he has at school, and stayed there in the room with them. If he tried to talk to me, I quietly shushed him like his teacher does. It took a few days, but he finally napped for me like he did at school.

Answer 8

sorry it a nightmare for you,why dont you let the kids go and see their dad and see how things improve,let their father know as kids dont want their dad been told.dont put television on as they will get away with it you are the boss dont let the kids walk over you.also put them to bed early then there usual time as they will learn.
why dont you take the kids out on a saturday and ask them what would they like to do like going to park or a museum or even swimming or cinema,you will fine they be calm.
if you stuck why dont you call supernanny as they are great l watched every one of it as l find it my tips method to use as l have a four yr old son,dont give up be strong with yourself all the very best to you

Answer 9

waow I think because they miss you , I think if you can get help from a professionl is better and read about kids it really help. I wish I could help better but I don't have kids. some of my friends do, and usually se says that kids know how to mabipulate parens even the 2 years old. try to get the in physical activities in the afternoon. talk a lot to your 7 years old. show them your authority you have to. and then try to fing ways to reward them whenever they listen to even in the little action that they do. also try to aknowledge them make sure to show them that you are there aware of their existence they have to see it so they feel valued by their mom. get involved with them . try to teach you daughter about some family value they are young theyll follow you

Answer 10

Get some professional help to learn how to deal with your misbehaving children. It sounds like your children run your household. Consider your house a benevolent dictatorship rather than a democracy and things will be clearer for you. Since you're by yourself, you will have less tolerance for bad behavior. Sounds like a script for "Super Nanny", doesn't it?