Should I be the bigger person and goto my family Christmas Dinner?

Question

I was invited to my family Christmas Dinner. On the same day I have my x-mas party at work. I gotta be honest I hate going to my family gatherings. I don't hate anyone I just hate the aura they put off theres a few who stay in their own click won't even say hi or acknowledge other family members outside their click. When I go I feel Like half act like their better than everyone else. And all you hear is about what they have a like a new car, etc. And of course everything they have is way better than anyone elses. I'm not jealous in the least little bit. I just hate going cause I'm just me Im not in competition with anyone else. I might not have alot but everything I do have is paid for. I just wish everyone can get togeather and leave the bs aside and have a good time like family is supposed to do. And I think everyone should mingle after all we are family instead of being in their clicks. I feel if I gotta put up with the bs I dont wanna go. I will stop by the ones home i care to see

Answer 1

Christmas is a time to be giving. Go and try to make amends. Family is the greatest thing we will ever have.

Answer 2

I come from a family of fifteen children, all single births in the timeframe of twenty yrs. It is a very diverse family, and certain ones tend to prefer the company of certain others. When we have a large family gathering, I tend to mingle, make sure I speak to each of my brothers and sisters, and be cordial, not settling in to any one "clique". I understand the "competition" aspect of that which you are trying to convey, it exists in my family as well.
That is them.
I pretty much share your situation financially as well. I'm not jealous of material things that they have, but I don't care to hear them bragging about it, they've been blessed in a different way than I have. It is one of the reasons I tend to "roam" at these gatherings.
I also like to stay out of the way of the gossip. Nothing good can come from spreading rumors about others, especially siblings, because eventually it will get back to the person the gossip is about.
You should definitely attend the dinner. Arrive before dinner, about 1 hr so that you can be cordial and greet everyone, eat, and shortly after dinner leave for a "prior engagement".
Family is family, and when push comes to shove, when something arises where the family has to pull together, you will still be in good graces with everyone.

It's a grin and bear it kind of thing, but you'll be glad you did it.

Answer 3

Personally if it was me, I would be all for the work party. I come from a family (not my mother, we get along great, I mean aunts uncles etc), who is all about gossip and backstabbing. I could never imagine having to put on an act and pretend to care about people who dont care about me, just because "its the holidays".


If you feel like you wont be comfortable there and just have a crappy time. Theres no reason that you should have to go. I'm a strong believer that being blood related does not make two people family.

Answer 4

Well you can tell them you have other plans and will drop by their house to see them. That way you can avoid the ones that really annoy you. Yes, the holidays are supposed to be about family and for years I avoided family gathering to avoid the ones I didn't like. After so many years I started to regret it because I was missing out on so many special family memories. Putting up with the less than desirables has turned out to be better then missing special time with the ones I really love. Best of luck!

Answer 5

Go to the work party and have fun and get tipsy, then go to family gathering and it won't seem so bad with a slight buzz going. And just be around the people you enjoy and when the bragging or drama starts leave that discussion. Or get really drunk at work party and go tell everyone what you really think of them at family party, mix it up a little it works well in the movies.

Answer 6

I learned along time ago no body's family or holiday gathering is perfect as in the old TV shows, and I have also learned what it's like to not have family and I've met allot of people without family ... no big family gathering to go to for the holidays, and it's very sad....everyone planning their family gathering and you have no-one. Appreciate what you have or you may not always have it, sure "most everyone" has relatives they don't like much but they are family and you don't know what you have until it's gone....so enjoy and be thankful...Merry Christmas !

Answer 7

I'll be spending my first Christmas away from my family this year. Despite the fact that I'm big enough to break her legs if I were to sit on her lap, my mothers see's me as her little baby. Despite the fact that I've begun a rather successfull career in the navy my father is always giveing me lectures on how I need to grow up and find direction. And my two olders sisters are always pestering me about endless trivial thing and it all makes me sick. Despite all this, I still wish I could be home for the Holidays. Don't see your family because it would be big of yourself to do so. stop being petty and looking down on your family. Go see them, get annoyed by them, and annoy them in return, and maybe you'll get over the fact that they're not perfect.

Answer 8

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Answer 9

I stopped going to my family gatherings for all the reasons you have listed. I make a point of seeing those I want to see, and leave the rest alone. Don't be guilted into misery. Life is short.
And the weird upshot of it all- is that they stopped being nasty when I run into them. A little distance can be good. Let them keep their misery and make yourself happy. Happy Holidays.

Answer 10

Yup, you should go to your family gathering. Even though you dislike going, you should go.

Personally, I think my family would not even notice if I did not show up. All my mom cares about is my sister and her kids. Everything focuses on them. There have been years when my mom does not even say hi when we arrive, but instead tells me where to hang my coat and assigns me a chore. Boy, oh boy, am I glad to be there.