I am the first person she shared the news with and i just couldn't say anything. I asked if she wanted to talk but she said she would be busy with the funeral so she wants to wait until after that. I can tell she was very shaken but she keeps a calm and composed manner. I just feel so useless because thats all i can do. So is there anything else i can do to help her ? I doubt she would talk truthfully about it though, she is the type who will try to conceal her feelings and act like nothing happened even though i can tell she desperately needs help. Please can someone tell me i am so worried.
2007-12-07 18:47:54 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
just let her know you are there for her and if she needs anything to let you know. other than that don't push the issue. everyone deals with grief in their own ways. i dated a guy when someone passed he was close to he just wanted to be left alone for a few days. my mom cried on my shoulder. my one friend just wanted to hang out, but not talk about it. she'll let you know when she needs you, and just be there.
2007-12-07 18:52:39 · answer #1 · answered by Unsure 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a really horrible time, and you're obviously a good friend for being so concerned. Sometimes there are no words you can say, but you might be able to do things to help your friend. Depending on your age and whether your friend lives with her parents still or has moved out, something that is really helpful to people is doing some jobs around the house. Doesn't sound like much but funerals etc make you very busy, and even just doing a load of washing or something would be a big help. I'd say you're already doing a great job - just be there for her, spend time with her whenever you can. It'll take a long time to get over but with your support hopefully she'll pull through.
2007-12-07 18:54:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be there for her and she will open up in her own time.. but keep the phone by the bed - that time might be 2:00am!
I always try to help my friends in their daily lives. Cook meals, clean house, do laundry, babysit - whatever it takes to help. It's the little things that mean the most. It's weird, people don't remember the flowers.. but they NEVER forget fresh, folded laundry!
Be sure to offer - or find someone - to watch the house while they are attending the funeral. There was a trend recently - were burglars were looking at the obits to find a house they knew would be empty. Plus - there is someone there to let others (like people from the church) in to bring covered dishes.
2007-12-07 19:35:42 · answer #3 · answered by amy1272hou 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has chosen to face this in a way she feels is most appropriate at this point. There will be plenty of time to talk later on. She knows that you are there for her. When you see her at the funeral tell her that you're always available if she wants or needs to talk. Sometimes you just have to take a back seat when this kind of thing happens.
2007-12-07 18:57:47 · answer #4 · answered by Richard B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on the person, and if your close enough you'll know how to behave around your friend...
My father died and only my closest friends knew just to carry on as normal, a knowing look in acknowledgment was all i required. Cant stand people asking "are you all right" and giving you piteous looks! But that's just my own personal feelings and everyone is different.
In truth the pain never really goes away, but time, in its own merciful way, dulls the sharpness ever so slightly.
2007-12-07 19:01:58 · answer #5 · answered by dark_massiah 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just knowing that you care helps her. Believe it or not, prayer helps. When you pray for her throughout the day she will feel the comfort. She may get moody at times for awhile. Putting up with that is a kind gift you can do.
2007-12-07 18:53:11 · answer #6 · answered by shirleykins 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All I can say is to let her know that you're there for her whether it's to talk, or just to sit with her. Also, you could make sandwiches or a covered dish for her family. In times like this, the family would really appreciate this... eating is often put on the back burner.
2007-12-07 18:52:45 · answer #7 · answered by bugggs 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this is hard. i didn't like any comfort when my dad died (i was young) and so i avoided giving it to others for a long time. depending on how well i know them now i'll give a hug or sign a card.
2007-12-07 18:53:09 · answer #8 · answered by satya 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you can do is be there for her.
2007-12-07 19:05:14 · answer #9 · answered by mikk 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋