Why do working moms claim that they do just as much parenting as sahm's?

Question

I'm not saying it's wrong or a bad choice, and I know it's nobody else's business, but how can they claim that they do just as much parenting of their children when for a big chunk of the day they're not even there and somebody else raises their child? It doesn't make sense to me.

Answer 1

I was a working mom until our daughter was 18 months old. She was in daycare for 8 to 11 hours a day, depending on the shift rotations my husband and I were working (I was a nurse, he's a maintenance guy at a hospital). We spent a total of 2 or 3 hours with our kids a day and no, we weren't raising our daughter - her daycare provider was. Period. When we did get home from work at night, it was rush to make supper, do the dishes, clean, vaccuum, throw in laundry, do yard work, run errands, get groceries if needed, spend 30 totally focused minutes with our daughter (usually spent giving a bath and reading a book, and then we'd put her to bed. That's not being much of a parent and that's not doing much parenting. My husband and I hated it. That's why we decided to have me be a stay at home mom. We sat down and figured our our finances and shockingly we found that if I were to stay home, we would actually be BRINGNIG IN $200 TO $400 MORE A MONTH if we weren't paying for the cost of daycare and the additional gas mileage! Crazy, huh? Anyways, so now, yes I am more of a parent to my daughter because I'm the one who directs her, teaches her, disciplines her, spends time with her, gives her hugs at any time during the day, and moulds her into the human being that we want her to grow up to be. Working parents have it really hard - I've been there. It's true that they are only able to spend a few hours a day with their kids, but they do their best. As stay at home moms though, we do more "hands on" parenting and we do it full time. It's our job. :)

Answer 2

For many Moms, staying at home is not an option. If their spouse is absent, they need to work and hiring good child care is a requirement. The amount of time you spend with your children isn't as important as the quality of the time. Not all parents or kids are the same, so there is a great variation in families and how they relate to each other. It's not as simple as you've stated, and you're still being judgmental. Most of the time the WORLD makes no sense.

Answer 3

I was a working mom for most of my adult life... except for about 4 years. I never claimed i did more with my kids when i worked, so count me out.

I did instill quite a lot of good qualities into my children, however... it had to be me, because they are both very similar in certain, good ways.

There is nothing wrong with staying at home or working outside the home, and if a person has a good babysitter or daycare, working shouldn't be a problem.

Personally i preferred working because i am the type of person who has to be busy all of the time.

take care, and dont' pay attention to what other people say... use your own brain!

Answer 4

I think I do just as much parenting because not only do I work, but I also am a mother involved in their life. my youngest is in a child daycare...at my work. So I see her during my break and lunch hour. I only work 4 hours a day so I am home when my kids leave and come back from school. I understand why you think that, but please don't say that's how ALL working mom's are. It is hurtful to those who are the exception.

Answer 5

I'm a working mum and I have so much respect for sahm's. I worked full time for two years until I realised that I wasn't raising my own child. I still work but now only part time and feel much better about it. I couldn't be a sahm because I need some time when I can be myself and not Daniels mummy. I realise that it is easier to cope with your children when you have a break from them. I love my son very much but still need to be me.
I think mums who stay home are strong women and they have a much harder job than those who work!

Answer 6

It is the same you just have to look at it from Our point of view
depending on what time they go to work we get home our day is not even over, We still have homework Laundry Housework and soo many other things to do. Depending on the age of our children relay depends on what we do when we get home. And that also helps when figuring out how much time we really have with our kids.
Trust me I understand where you are coming from I used to
ask the same thing. I don't know how old you are but I learned one thing from my parents (just din't realize it till I had kids)
That even if youhave to stay up till 3am afterworking 8/9 hours aday you stillhave your job at home and anytime is a good time to spend wiht your kids

Answer 7

Okay so what about parents that have older kids that are in school 8 hours a day? Are they not doing as much parenting either?

I mean give me a break - it's about quality not quantity!

Even SAHMs aren't spending the ENTIRE day focused on their child - they still have to clean, cook, take care of pets, do laundry, etc.

This is just another further attempt to make working moms look 'bad' - yup, another failed attempt I might add.

Answer 8

you are right. they are doing less... lets not call it "parenting", but "mothering". The reason that they claim that they do as much mothering as stay at home moms is because it is highly stigmatized in society for women to hvae careers, especialy while they are raising children. everyone thinks the woman is supposed to sacrifice her job and stay home and give her all to the kids. its a stereotypical societal feminine gender role. In order to avoid the stigma associated with not being a full time mom, they claim taht they are just as good of mothers as those who dedicate their full time to their children.

obviously the stay at home moms are doing more mothering. there is no question. but why i choose to say "mothering" as ooposed to "parenting"as you hvae it written, is because a stay at home dad could also be involved in "parenting", and for some reason the dad who goes off to work and wont even take half an hour per day to take care of the kids doesnt get much flack at all.

Answer 9

Not this old argument again! Just because a mom works outside the home doesn't mean they are any less parents than a SAHM. I have been both and it is MUCH harder for a parent that works outside the home because you have much less time to devote to household duties. Once you get home you are spending as much time with your children to make up for being away from them. Quit bashing working moms.
The person that said that quanity over quality is bull. THAT'S BULL. I have seen kids that have SAHM that are totally ignored while their moms sit and watch soaps all day long or they plop their kid in front of Teletubbies and rot their brain. They never think to take their kids to the park, zoo, Children's Museum, etc. I work 4 jobs and I still make time for these things with my son. I am lucky though that 3 of my jobs I can take him with me if I need to.

Answer 10

the people who asked what a sahm is..it means stay at home mom. i dont know. i do not doubt they lover their children at much but im a sahm and i know that being gone even 3 hours a day you do a lot less parenting!