What are your thoughts on this style of parenting?

Question

The belief that even very young children are capable of deciding what they do and don't want to do. If they don't want to do a certain thing, or behave a certain way, they shouldn't have to.
Children can set their own bedtimes, mealtimes, decide what they want to eat, wear, do and how they wish to behave.
Children should get no discipline whatsoever, and should never have any restrictions or rules placed upon them. If your child tells you "no", then you accept that and respect their wishes.
If toddlers throw tantrums, it's because they have needs that you must meet, under no circumstances should their *right* to throw a tantrum be smothered.
What do you think about this philosophy? Will it/does it raise successful happy children?

Answer 1

It took me a while to stop laughing to be honest. I'm sorry, I belong to that seemingly dying breed of people that believe children NEED parents, they NEED discipline, and they NEED to be taught the appropriate ways of behaving, conducting themselves and solving problems.

I'm all for self-expression, and allowing children to have a voice, but when that voice is screaming "NO!", and trying to hit me in public because I wouldn't let them have that toy, then trust me I'll be stifling that self-expression!
I think the trouble is that far too many parents underestimate just how manipulative children can become if they're led to learn that their actions won't bring about any consequences. Toddlers throw tantrums for a reason, yes, but does that mean we should allow them to do it rather than teach them the correct way of expressing what they want?
As for setting mealtimes, bedtimes and the rest of my daily schedule, when my children earn the money, do the shopping, wash the clothes, cook dinner and clean the house, then they can say what happens. Until then I think I'll stick to being the parent, and they can be the children!

Honestly, I'm all for people finding their own way of parenting, and everyone's different, but I think that way of doing things is setting a child up for a big fall later on in life, not to mention a lot of trouble!

Answer 2

No, it will raise spoiled brats. That's the way children are raised these days and take a look around. Children need discipline. I believe on some things (like what they wear) you give them a couple of choices. Don't let them wear shorts and a tank top in the snow. Etc. But when they say "no" and you're supposed to deal with them and grant their every wish? Heck no!

Children need a bed time, so they won't be tired and grumpy in the morning.
On deciding what they eat: The way I see it, I am not a restaurant. They eat what I fix them or they go to bed hungry. Period. If they are truly hungry, they will eat what is placed in front of them, without a problem.

Raising children the way you described is the way all the spoiled brats in the world were raised. Allowing a child to do and act as they please, will cause them to have a huge wakeup call when they become adults. Adults HAVE to follow the rules or they end up in trouble with the police or in jail.

Why don't parents teach their children when they are young that the world doesn't revolve around them? So we can do without all the police having to teach your child manners for you. It's not their job. You laid in the bed and spread your legs, YOU teach them right from wrong.

This is the most ridiculous question I ever heard. Will allowing all this stuff raise healthy happy well behaved children? Give me a break. Think about it.

Answer 3

A child who is parented that way will grow up to be a spoiled brat. He'll actually have a much harder time in life down the road when his teachers expect him to be disciplined. Children crave limits/boundaries. That's why they are always testing their parents. They feel safe knowing there's a specific routine they follow, that they are expected to act well. It will not raise successful, happy children. And, I would think that this kind of parenting is really just an excuse for the parents to be lazy and not claim the responsibility of raising their children. Geez, it makes me mad even thinking that someone would come up with a theory like this! What a moron.

Answer 4

I think that this is not a good way to raise any child. I was brought up with rules and got a spanking when I did wrong. Children are not born knowing right from wrong, it's the parents responsibility to teach them. A Parent is supposed to be supportive, caring, and loving.

If this is how you think you should raise your children, then maybe you should try reading some parenting books. try Amazon.com to search for books.

Answer 5

Children, like adults, need routine. Routine comes with discipline and rules. This is how society works and this is why we 'parent' our children.

If they are 'left to their own devices' as this 'style' suggests, they wont have any knowledge of how to behave in society when they are adults.

I think if you let kids behave this way, you are asking for trouble when they are older. For every child this way may benefit their would be a hundred that it would be detrimental to.

I think its the easy way out and I dont like it.

Answer 6

it is crap. All it does is raise self centred kids that will not survive in the real world. Kids need to learn boundries as when they are adults they will not get a job where they throw a tantrum when things go wrong and say no when asked to do something. All you get with this parenting style is less friends as no one wants those kids in their house or near their kids

Answer 7

What you describe is a caricature of the "anti-authoritarian" parenting style of the 1970s. It realtes back to Rousseau's idea of teaching through natural consequences (if your child breaks a window, let him sleep in the room where wind and rain comes in). There is no evidence that this parenting style has produced happy adults (or happy parents). Its failure should, however, not be seen as legitimating a strictly authoritarian parenting style as in the early 20th century. The trick is to guide your children without oppressing them, to hear what they have to say and still to convince them of what is right. Easy in theory, difficult in practice...

Answer 8

Children need and want boundaries and rules, as much as they rebel against them. That's why the flower children of the sixties and seventies are so messed up...haha...it sounds like a good idea in theory, but it's not. It raises children with no perception of reality.

Answer 9

Children do not have the life experiences to be able to make informed decisions about what's best for them. If they grow up without being taught to listen and take orders, they will have a very difficult life as adults, as well as having little knowledge as to how to cope with the world.

Answer 10

That parenting style wouldn't work in my house but if someone else can make it work more power to them. To me, it seems the parents would raise needy and spoiled children who have a major sense of entitlement. That's just me though. I pretty much do everything opposite of that.