i have been seeing my 39yr old boyfriend now for over 2yrs.i thort he was the one for me so we decided to have a baby together, which is due any time now.
since becoming pregnant, i have realised that he is very hard to talk to, everything i say is incorrect and he knows better and snaps at what i say . he keeps blaming the distance i have created from him becuz of this on my 'hormones', which is incorrect. i have on numerous occasions tried to explain to him that i cant talk to him and we just go round in circles becuz he says that thats rubbish and that i can talk to him!
He also lives at home with his parents and i have told him he cant move in yet. i said this becuz im hoping he will change so he then can move in.
he also is only willing to go halves financially in everything but i dont think this is normal becuz if im having time of work to have his baby, how do i pay my half? i have my own home car & belongings as i moved out of hme at 15, he has a computer.
wot do i do??
2007-12-07 17:20:57 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Stick to your guns, he needs to grow up. I'll tell you if he does not change his attitude, love the baby but lose the guy, he's just dead weight.
2007-12-07 17:25:37 · answer #1 · answered by Firebird 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two years is a long time, but generally this is why most people make the commitment of marriage before the commitment of parenthood. To answer your question, though, it is doubtful that he will change. It's likely that he has always been this way, but "love" is blind. It's only more obvious to you now that you are taking your relationship "to the next level," however most couples at least live together before making babies together.
If he is only willing to pay half, is that really enough to you? Is a half a man, half a commitment, and half a life what you really want? It sounds like that may be all he is willing to give... have the two of you decided on a monogamous relationship, have you talked about where the future of your relationship is headed? I sure hope so...
As for how you will pay your half when you have to have time off work to have the baby - I think he should pick up the tab... and really, why would you want someone who is still living at home with his parents at 40 to father your child? If his only material posession is his computer - that sounds like a bad move on your part.. but it's too late now.
It sounds like the father of your baby is selfish, and it takes a selfless person to be a parent and a good partner. Good luck, but I see this relationship and arrangement failing miseralby.
2007-12-08 01:29:22 · answer #2 · answered by sos_sweet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't really understand. you think that it's not your hormones but it probably is. I have been there before and I know ( I have three kids.) it seem like you are right and that it's the other person but you can just be being emotional. I would wait until after I have the baby to decide if I need him to change. about the half situation I think he needs to grow up because what if you only have half on pampers does the baby not get them?
2007-12-08 01:27:24 · answer #3 · answered by LC 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really Like John's answer.
I think you should leave things they way they are, don't have him move in and don't force him to " be who you want him to be" because it will be temporary.
I think letting the relationship cool off or go is best. It is sad that you will be having a baby who probably won't have dad living with him or her but...it is either that or you being miserable. If you're miserable, you can't focus on being a mom.
If he won't talk to you and just answers with " That's rubbish" what does he expect you to do?? I hope he doesn't think that is acceptable, because it isn't.
2007-12-08 01:30:15 · answer #4 · answered by Lisa M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HI
I THINK THAT THE BEST THING YOU CAN EVER DO ABOUT IT IS TO PUSH HIM INTO TALKING WITH YOU SERIOUSLY, JUST SIT DOWN AND TALK TO EACH OTHER. YOU ARE HAVING A BABY AND YOU SHOULD BE VERY HAPPY AND YOU ALSO SHOULD BE GETTING MARRIED. JUST DO NOT WORRY SO MUCH BECAUSE YOU ARE PREGNANT, ALL MEN ARE THE SAME SO...
BUT YOU REALLY NEED TO TALK TO HIM OR MAYBE EVEN HIS PARENTS, BUT IF HE IS NOT CHANGING OR ANYTHING I THINK THAT YOU SHOULD GO YOUR SEPARATE WAYS AND I ASSURE YOU THAT IF IT IS NOT HIM THEN YOU WILL FIND THE ONE WITH WHOM YOU SHOULD BE WITH. TIME WILL SHOW AND SOLVE EVERYTHING, SO JUST BE PATIENT AND WAIT AND YOU SHOULD ONLY CARE ABOUT YOUR BABY BECAUSE AFTER ALL WHEN YOU HAVE THE BABY YOU WILL START CARING AND SEEING ONLY HIM AND NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND OR HUSBAND.
YOU WILL FIND THE ONE AND IF HE IS THE ONE THEN YOU WILL BE TOGETHER NO MATTER WHAT.
LOVE AND RESPECT
LUIZA
2007-12-08 01:29:07 · answer #5 · answered by LG 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump that loser. Ya ur having a kid with him, but thats not a good reason to stay together unless u wanna be miserable the rest of ur life. Who still lives at home when they're 39!!?
2007-12-08 01:25:06 · answer #6 · answered by Abby Jo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope, dont keep him. I had one just like it and there not gonna change. I tried for 5 yrs. I stayed thinking he would change. Didn't work. There is somebody out there for you and will treat you the way you deseeve.
2007-12-08 01:33:33 · answer #7 · answered by sunshine33 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave him. guys dont change. and you have a baby to worry about. do you want your child growing up with a father figure who could be very harsh and demeaning towards him or her. not so much. as a baby it would be fine but not as a young child. so i say find yourself a guy who will respect you better.
2007-12-08 01:28:41 · answer #8 · answered by Cass 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow that is tough. well i think you really need to figure out a way to talk to him. you could try sitting down to dinner with him and kinda easy urself into talking about it. just make sure you do it calmly, and try to keep it calm. does he have money to pay for more than just half? how old are you?
2007-12-08 01:28:05 · answer #9 · answered by benny247 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
kick him between the legs, he'll change alright
2007-12-08 01:23:13 · answer #10 · answered by john Smith 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋