child with divorced parents, little advice please?

Question

my mom and dad are divorced. i have a very complex situation. when my mom and dad seperated my mom found another person. but this hasnt stopped my dad from coming over at least more than once a week and we all get along(which is good thing-its like the situation on Reba) so i see him alot throughtout the week. i love my dad soo much the little things he does and says just light up my day, hes so awesome. so now the dilema is that i dont want to stay at his apartment because i get really homesick. i have stressful weeks because of my classes in school, and i really cherish my weekends. my mom has decided that me and my brother would go to his house every other weekend. it seems like too much for me, i just wanna be home. i wanted to know if i just have to get over it or does it sound like something i should think about a bit more

im positive i want to live with my mom, but i dont like the way my mom has worked things out. im 16 and i feel like i should have a some say in where im spending my weekends

Answer 1

You can have a say in the visitation schedule. Talk to your mom and dad about it. However, not going to dads very often may hurt his feelings. I'd take that into consideration. It may just be that you like seeing him at your home because it's more like the good old days and you don't have to face that they're divorced. Could it be that being at his place constantly reminds you that your family isn't all together in one place anymore?
I would try to stick it out going to dads a little longer and just try talking to them about how you feel. If you really still don't want to spend the weekend then talk to him about going home to sleep in your own bed each night.
Best of luck!

Answer 2

I understand that you really cherish your weekends due to the stressful week of school...but it is only every other weekend...I don't think that's really too much to ask...you like the time you get with your dad, and I think it's something you should look forward to, rather than dread...Why not trying to make you space at your dad's house feel like home? Then you could relax and unwind comfortably there as well. I think you should think about how your dad would feel if you said you'd rather not spend time at his place on the weekends. But if it really bothers you that much, sit down with your dad and tell him how you feel...as your father, even if he's disappointed, he'll understand and let you stay where you feel more comfortable.

Answer 3

My oldest daughter does not always go on dad weekends. She has to talk to him first about if it's okay, and sometimes we work it out where she goes just one night instead of both. She is 17 and has been working things out with dad for the last year.
My other 3 kids sometimes decide they need alone time with mom and we do the same-work it out with dad. I would try to go for at least one night on his weekends because he is your dad and deserves his time with you in his own home.

Answer 4

I would suggest to you that you really think over what you want. Figuring out what parent to live with is no small task! I feel for you and your struggles, but think over your decision carefully. Maybe you can split time with both of your parents. One week with your mom and the other with your dad, and the holidays together. Hope this helps!!

Answer 5

talk to your dad and let him know seeing him all the time makes your days the best ever. but tell him that your more comfortable in your own home and dont mind spending day hours with him ,but you want to stay in your own room not his apartment. i would think he would understand and could talk to your mom about it for you.

Answer 6

... i think that you are old enough to make your own decisions but the bad part is it is more up to them then you.. you need to sit your parents down and talk to them.. the final decision is up to them.. however, feel lucky.. most people in todays time dont even get a chance to know their dads and you should take the time you can with him...

Answer 7

go to your dad's place, he needs to be with you and you need to be with him...take this as learning to grow up and doing the right thing. you will most likely enjoy yourself .....