Pregnant, Relationship stressful and Im falling apart..help?

Question

Hi I dont know what to do, Im falling to pieces. I am 15wks pregnant, we didnt want to be pregnant really until another year or so after we had lived together and worked out if we could live in a blended family together as my partner has two children from a previous marriage. He has them 5 days a fortnight. After much stress and angst we decided to trial living together and see if we could bring it all together, well all that has happened is a million issues have surfaced, children, finances, right down to little things...I am so stressed out and cannot even see straight and it all culminated this morning to me chucking a rage and practically going crazy and ripping my xmas tree to bits. I have lost it, the stress and complications are killing me. I do suffer from depression. I have found I dont have much say in many things and my partner acts defensively to any issue ihave i feel like im fighting for an inch. I need to matter to

Answer 1

I feel sorry for your situation and frankly I can't see how it will get better. But you do seriously need to talk this through sensibly with someone. I would suggest you look at your situation very clearly - this is what it is. No point in hoping things will change quickly. For me (the part about not having much say) is very crucial to finding a solution and this is not a time for you to hope and wish. I have been in similar do do and found that people don't change. Where is your family? If you can't communicate with him talk things through with family or a counsellor. Sorry I don't know what I can say to help but you need emotional support. Take care.

Answer 2

Have a talk with him and ask him what's more important in his life, eachother's future or himself. Of course a guy would be stressed, having to think of how to deal with a whole another way of life, far different than he's used too, but that doesn't give him the right to act all arrogant with you, you're carrying his baby and you'll be going through much more pain than he could ever imagine. that's making him not sounding like a very strong individual mentally, so you need to know what's really important in his life, and see how mature his answer is. If it's less than what you expect, he's going to be a terrible father, protect the child and make sure that kid has a loving family.

Answer 3

I agree with the first answer. This isn't really a question. It's you had issues beforehand and you obviously have more issues now and you're losing it. Nobody on Y!A is going to provide you with a wonderful answer that will solve all your problems. Frankly, neither will a therapist because their job is to listen and document more than it is to tell you what to do. I firmly believe it all comes back to self control. If people would exercise a little bit of self control and quit having accident kids, there would be so much less stress in the world. There are simply too many people reproducing who don't need to be reproducing. I feel bad for your kids, I grew up with a nutcase for a mother too and it's definitely no fun. Please get help before you ruin your children's lives as well as your own.

Answer 4

I'm sorry for what you are going through. Living together as a test run wasn't the smartest thing to do. If it was just the two of you I would say fine, it's your business, but not with two children involved (now one more on the way). It just isn't right for two adults to put 2, now soon to be 3, kids through this. The two kids already dealt with their father and mother's relationship cracking, now they have to deal with further instability in their lives because, 2 adults were quite frankly, selfish. I mean you were the one who decided to take a trial run living as a family. (I think it's cruel putting kids through trial family runs). Obviously, if you had to take a trial run, you both didn't feel that this relationship was all that strong or mature to begin with, so this result shouldn't be such a surprise to you. I'm not trying to be insensitive, but you put yourself in this situation.
Nonetheless, you can't go on living like this, especially for the sake of the 2+ children. I think you need keep sitting down together (perhaps with some kind of mediator) and keep on trying to work this out together, or you will both continue to be miserable and you will have three children who came from a broken home.

As somebody else suggested, maybe you can at least get a 1/2 or so to yourself a day to give you a chance regroup. Maybe you can also ask your doctor for some exercises that are safe for you to do while pregnant, to help you to manage the stress. Also, try and surround yourself with some positive things and people... find something that makes you laugh (a book, movie, etc.) and get a little daily dose of that. Everyday, take 3-5 minutes and write down everything you are grateful for.
Those are only some temporary solutions, but it may help you get through the day.

Answer 5

The blending of a family is always stressful. Being so stressed can be harmful to your baby. Is there any way you can take an hour or 1/2 day just to yourself? Really sounds like you need some time to pull yourself together before any more issues can come up.

Please take some time for you, and your baby. This time of year is hard on everyone. It just normal adulthood, in a new life role.

Answer 6

Do you know how lucky you are to be pregnant? I have been trying to get Pregnant for ten years. Count your blessings and breathe. You have someone who loves you and a family. Maybe not a perfect one but you have one. I have four cats that I try to make due as children but they will never graduate from high school or go to a prom. There are people homeless and starving for pete's sake. Take a deap breath and be happy. Happiness is a choice not always granted without work.

Answer 7

I understand the depression. I also understand when a relationship is complicating life through a lack of communication and reality issues like bills, kids, etc. I've found when I get really stressed out the best thing to do to regain my sanity is to masturbate.

Answer 8

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Answer 9

Ok, this is not a question.


Your telling us your issues. Please see a social worker or mental care therapist.

Best of Luck.