If we do, CPS is called or she tries to get my husband fired out of spite. We tried allowing her to live w/ us b/c all her utilities were cut off, but after 2 wks had to hv police remove her bc she refused 2 leave. This woman didn't even raise me. She pawned me off on my grandmother. I have 2 half bro/sis. My sister is a heroin addict & my bro has given up on her. 2night she tells me she never wants 2 hv anything 2 do w me bc I didn't make it 2 her house in time & ice cream I'd bought her was melted. Bought her 1/2 gal yesterday. Tomorrow, even though she wants nothing 2 do w/ me, she'll call & ask more favors. She's had what we believe to be her final SSDI hearing &hopefully will b getting a ruling soon. After she receives her $ & can pay her own bls, I hate to say it, but I never want 2 c her again. She's made my entire life hell & I cant take it anymore. I know its a disease or so they say, but part of me believes shes just always been a spiteful heffer. Am I a bad person?
2007-12-07 15:51:55 · 12 answers · asked by gwenbleu2 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
No you are not a bad person. I wish sometimes we could divorce our relatives, but we can't. Just bite the bullet, get her under whatever State or Federal auspices you can, get her in a home, and visit her once in awhile. You've done all you can. Stop blaming yourself. Sounds like you turned out the best of the bunch.
My prayers are with you.
2007-12-07 15:59:17 · answer #1 · answered by Cat Lady 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not a bad person, you are just dealing with a living hell, and it is no wonder that you are at the end of your rope. It is a sign that you are in fact a very good person, that you have tried as hard as you have, but you have done enough, and have had enough turmoil on her account. It accomplishes nothing for her, and wrecks your life, to try to do anymore, and you owe her nothing. If you need to have an order of protection filed against her, then it is fine to do that. Yes, it is a condition, there are meds for it, but they can only work if she takes them, and that is not something that always happens reliably. I don't know if you can have her committed involuntarily...but I think your bro has the right idea; you have tried long enough.
2007-12-07 16:05:09 · answer #2 · answered by eldots53 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boy, it sounds like you've been put through the ringer and then some. I can completely understand your frustration and anger. It is important to remember that Bi-bipolar is a devastating disorder, not only for the person afflicted with it but for the family as well. Some of the students that I work with suffer with bipolar and I've known a couple of adults with it as well. Without proper medications and therapy the person will not be able to cope with anything, as it sounds like you are seeing. I'm hoping that I'm not going to offend you, but since this has been going on have you gotten help for yourself? What I mean is that having to deal with all of this stuff for so long, maybe finding someone to talk to, a therapist or counselor might help you get yourself feeling better. Having so much anger, as it sounds like you do (and I don't blame you) talking through it might help you find the strength to decide what you really want to do. I wish you the best of luck.
2007-12-07 16:06:33 · answer #3 · answered by Chrissy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bipolar and an addict. I don't envy you. I admire your compassion and your patience but there comes a time when you have to cut someone loose. She will not change until she hits her bottom. Saving her from her bottom will not help her in any way. Letting her hit her bottom is the ONLY thing that will eventually save her life. It's time for her to be responsible for her own actions. She needs meds for her bipolar disorder and she needs off the heroin. And she will not realize this until she is on her own and realizes her life is out of control.
I am an alcoholic and it was my bottom that saved my life. Quit trying to save her and let her save herself. This is what will save your sanity, your marriage and your children. Good luck. It will be very hard to let her suffer her own consequences, but tough love is the only thing that will help her now. And if anyone lays the guilt trip on you, remember that you are doing what's best for her regardless what anyone else thinks.
2007-12-08 05:48:58 · answer #4 · answered by blondspitfire 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are NOT a bad person. I have similar problems with my own mother. Without going into a lot of detail, she beat me, married me off when I was 14 to the first person who asked just to get rid of me. Cut your ties and concentrate on your own life. It's clear that she doesn't give two hoots in hades about your life or your finances. Disease or not, these people KNOW what they are doing, and they are able to stop themselves when they want to. My mother is OCD, bipolar and has delusions now. She fully expects ME to take care of her and I don't want to. She was a horrible mother to me and mistreated me in ways no child should ever have to be treated. My advice to you is for you and your husband to get on with your own life. Even without her social security or what ever, there are agencies out there to help her. Walk away... you've done enough.
2007-12-07 16:04:30 · answer #5 · answered by P B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I don't think you are a bad person. I think your mother need more help. Is she seeing a therapist? Maybe she can go to a therapist and you go with her one time. Just keep praying for her, but if she is bothering so much. You may have to separate yourself from her for a little while. Call and check on her every now and then, but you do not want that negativity to rub off on you
2007-12-07 16:01:12 · answer #6 · answered by BizWoman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Youre not bad for wanting some peace. Make sure your husbands bosses are aware of her illness so they know whats going on is not his fault.
Also get an answering machine or caller ID so you dont have to take all her calls. If you feel threatened get a restraining order. You shouldnt have to live like this.
2007-12-07 15:59:43 · answer #7 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dealing with someone that is bi polar is very hard.. i have a friend who is bi polar... i think what you moms prob is that she needs to be put in the hospital and get her meds straightened out cause by the sounds of things she is way off balence.. i dont blame you for not wanting anything to do with her at all... it is your choice what you want to do... follow your heart and go from there... good luck
2007-12-07 15:58:08 · answer #8 · answered by Skylar1983 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
stop doing favors for her until she gets help. there are medications out there for bipolar disorder.
if she is on medication then she is probably using it to get you to feel sorry for her.
stop doing so much and she'll either come around or she will get out of your life. its a win win situation
2007-12-08 16:44:54 · answer #9 · answered by L.A. J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How could you not feel this way? She sounds horrible. If she is that bad off perhaps an institution will take her?
2007-12-07 15:58:28 · answer #10 · answered by x_cindergirl_x 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋