Should I tell him to stay or not?

Question

My ex (twice) came back from Arizona the other day after having been gone for over a year. Mind you when he left, he said goodbye to no one...he just "had to find himself". I guess he has now and told me he came back here just for me and wants me to tell him to stay here (indiana). We tried to date twice but I ended up getting bored....Everything's kind of crazy right now...but who know what'll happen in a few months! What if he decides to find himself again? I'm lost...what do you suggest?

Answer 1

I would tell him to make his own decision because realistically -- you can't make someone do something just because you told them to. Your opinion or feelings did not influence his decision when he left the first time and he didn't have the courtesy of letting you know he was leaving.

Just out of curiosity I would ask him to clarify what exactly "I came back here just for you" means. Does he have something to offer you that is worthwhile and can make a real difference in your life? Or is it a one sided thing that benefits him only.

Regarding your question -- follow your instinct. Your ex is usually your ex for a reason and he was your ex twice. There is no point in telling him to stay or leave because ultimately he will make his own decision. I don't think you are the one that is lost -- he is. I wouldn't stress too much about him anyway because he is not the "one". Otherwise he would not have walked away from you for a year. Focus on what you need and try to achieve it. Good luck to you. Hope this helps.

Answer 2

If you became bored while dating this guy (twice), my guess would be that he's just not the right fit for you. Did you miss him when he was away? Do you want to be with him now, really? It almost sounds like you're considering being with him again just because he wants you to be. Best of luck.

Answer 3

Listen to your instincts. Do you think you can make this work? He left before and did not say he was going. He have to deal with some of his issues. Until he deal with it, then maybe you want him back, but I really don't know

Answer 4

it's hard to say, but i think you should just tell him no. like you said, what if he decides to find himself again in arizona, what are you going to do? you should do what's best for you, put yourself first, think of your future and what you want.

Answer 5

i think that u should wait it out for a little while and see if he looses interest if he just wants to be with you cos you were teh first thing he could find if he doesn't go out with him see if you guys have a spark but if you don't he's rude to you and he looks at other girls just turn him down nicely

Answer 6

u follow ur heart if u dont love him or see urslef be with him leave him u want to be happy if u are happy with him go for it but u must follow ur hear thats the #1 thing good luck baby doll

Answer 7

If you take this guy back... you will be doomed to repeat this story over and over...
If you eventually marry the guy he will drag you from place to place too...

If you want to live like that...fine..

If you want stability..then move on now....

Answer 8

Do what you think is best for you, not what's best for him seeing as he went to "find himself" without saying good-bye or anything

Answer 9

Let him go. You tried it twice and it didn't work out, so it is bound to fail again. And if you are already worried about him leaving you, then you're definitely not in a place to get back together. So let him go, for both of your sakes.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20071207143328AAN84kT&r=w&pa=FZptHWf.BGRX3OFMiDNVWCYGb07mVaZh9Q3KEnNqyWLdY2A0hw--&paid=answered#OZF1WDT7DXlOx5s5HXdo

Answer 10

normal people just dont up and leave. that dosnt speak very much for his commitment to you, his career and his family. running off is not a reasonable or logical answer to anything. I also dont feel he respects your feelings.