my dad is drunk?

Question

i heard my parents fighting a few hours ago, and i am not so sure what it was about, but he said "its over, we're through", and then they were fighting about who i will stay with when they get a divorce. then a few minutes later, he told my mom he's leaving(hes drunk,), and she took his keys, and he had one hiding w/ him and he left at about 7:00, now it's going on 9:00. he told her he'll call her tomorrow, and he came into my room and told me he loves me and he left. my mom doesn't want to call the cops, and i'm afraid he gets killed or worse. right now, if he were to come back, i would ignore him. i hate him right now. i told my mom about it and she told me when he calls to tell him i love him...but its not how I FEEL. i want to make him feel bad for leaving me and my mom, him being drunk, me being scared, and leaving me and my mom here to cry. i'm only thirteen years old and i don't konw how to deal w/ this. please help me. :/

Answer 1

The exact same sort of things happened to me when I was younger - I am going on nineteen now and although the things that happened to me when my parents got drunk were rather dangerous and scary - I tried my best to forget them.

In this situation, Amanda, it is hard for someone to understand just how you feel because they are both in the middle of something that not even they understand. Alcohol is the feul that makes this whole thing turn - not the arguing or the fighting or whatever - the alcohol is the active ingredient here. Both of your parents still love you unconditionally and I can see the anger that you feel towards your father. But exacting revenge on him through making him feel bad isn't exactly the way to handle this situation. I know that this isn't what you want to hear but this is the most logical way to go about this....

When your father calls, if he is sober, tell him how you feel. Don't be afraid to cry or shout or tell him what you think about his drinking and their fighting. I promise you that he will be more ashamed and angry at himself for realizing that he made you so mad and miserable! When he finally returns home, sit down with both of your parents and talk to them about how you feel. You dont want to be tossed around like a rag doll, you dont want to hear them arguing and drinking and leaving you all alone. But do not forget that both of your parents are to blame for the arguing and leaving - not just your dad. It takes two people to fight and get angry at one another.

I would insist that you suggest your father attend counseling for his alcohol problem and both of your parents attend counseling for their fighting issues. You may think that counseling doesn't work however if nothing else will than there is absolutely no harm in trying is there?

The best of luck to you and your family. I hope things work out for the best!

Shelly

Answer 2

Your parents already feel bad. You don't need to add to that because it would be selfish of you.

See if you can have a heart-to-heart talk with your dad and tell him that you love him and want him to be healthy and to be around for a long time, and tell him that you are worried that his drinking will shorten his life - take him from you - especially if he is drunk while driving. Beg him to get some help in quitting the alcohol before it takes him away from you forever. If you are scared, this is where you express it!

He may not listen to your mom, but maybe to you if you phrase your words and intent right... you are worried about him, not yourself.

Answer 3

Your dad needs to know how you feel about his drinking. Explain to him that you love him, but when he is drunk it makes you feel hurt, sad and scare. I really encourage you do it, because you already have a closeness with him, which it is good.

There's something going on in your dad life. Alcoholism is a very serious disease, and he desperately needs some help. Perhaps if you request from your mother for her to discuss this with your dad's family, like his parents.

I know you love your dad, you just hate what he has done, and that's understandable. May I offer you one more important suggestion,,,open your Bible and read Psalms. It would give you strength, and ask God for help, of course. God bless.

Answer 4

ok my dad lived a mile away from my house for about 8 years and never said a word to us, when we (my sisters and i) were little we would run up to him and he would fold his arms and walk away. I hated him, i still do. he yes was also a drunk and he knwe what he was doing, now he wants to start a relationship and im 18 years old, its kinda late for him to be my father, i figure hes just a sperm doner. my dad died when my step dad passed away, he was the closest thing to a fsther i ever had. its going on 8 years and i wish every day he was a live. if your dad is there for you and treats you like a daughter then let him try, that doesnt mean you have to like him, but in the end its really up to you, i will never except my real father as my dad! He ruind that for him and for me, along with my sisters.

Answer 5

listen sweetie
it's not your fault,remember this first. sometimes parents don't get along. but he's drunk and he's not thinking right. don't hate him now, because he's not acting responsibly. talk to your mom and let her know you're scared. maybe mom might have a few suggestions. maybe he can get help. do they have help centers for alcohol treatment. ask mom to look for them and maybe you'll can get the help you need there. i hope this helped you

Answer 6

Why are you involved in this? You should have stayed in your room and let the Adults handle this between them.

Answer 7

try printing your question and when he comes home and is sober, give it to him and ask him to help.