well..the deal is.. i've been with a guy for over a year and a half..and theres a guy like i liked a lot, i mean a lot, a lot. TWO years ago..i was crazy about him. but he wouldnt date me..because he said "i was too young" like an idiot..yeah he regrets it. and now..that im in a relationship..he's came back into my life..and is trying with everything he has to get me back. i love him..just as much as i love my own boyfreind..yeah its horrible..i dont know what to do..my boyfreind has done nothing wrong..but i cant go on knowing that i have feelings for another guy..its crazyy. i just cant hurt him anymore.
they say "go with your heart"
its not that easy because my heart doesnt even know what is wants.
if you have any advice please feel free to express you're self.
thanks so much.
i love the guy im with. but theres still that place in my heart for the other person. :// and its coming strong.
2007-12-07 13:12:58 · 27 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
and yes my boyfreind knows about this WHOLE situation..i dont know what to do!
2007-12-07 13:27:06 · update #1
Go with the older guy
Always, always, always go with the older guy
2007-12-07 13:16:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋
Compared to the rest of the answers mine probably a blob in the mix of confusion but hear me out. Your boyfriend obviously means a lot to you and so does hot mystery man, but I really think the question you should be asking your self is how would you feel knowing who you chose?
If you chose your boyfriend the other guy would know he missed his chance. Hes the one who missed out on you - your the unique one not this guy who had your heart.
Hot mystery guy had your heart once but now your happy and I bet the way your boyfriend looks at you is the way you want to be looked at forever. Your boyfriend is probably oblivious to what your feeling but if hot mystery guy left you once who's to say he wont leave you again?
The sad truth is at the end of the day its how you see your self and not how guys will see you. I hope you pick the decision that you feel right with, not some guy with a killer smile or a guy ready to give you candy and flowers.
2007-12-07 13:27:50 · answer #2 · answered by Rainbows Light Up My Clody Sky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi hollistercraze,
Doesn't say weather you live with either guy. Just boyfriends.
If you are not living with either of the guys date both of them.
Then make up your own mind. That way you will know what the guy(feelings in your heart) wants & just how serious this would be also your present boyfriednd & how serious that is. Then decide for your self cause in the long run you will be the one the dates the guy (present boyfriend) or the other guy (feelings in your heart for). Have a good night. :0)
Additional Details: I went with the feelings in my heart & I see him every morning (breakfast) morning snack., noon (lunch), after noon snack, snacktime before dinner, (dinner), after dinner snack, late night said & finally the bedtime snack.
2007-12-07 14:40:04 · answer #3 · answered by dousmokedoobies69 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you are in relationship with somebody, that means you have made a commitment to be faithful to him/her. So try the hardest to love your boyfriend, and give yourself time limit. For example, if you cannot forget your 'past one' in half a year or one year, you may think again about your current relationship, cause your heart is not belong to him anymore and you don't give your full heart to him. That means you will be lying and lying to yourself more as time passes by. In that case, you should choose what your heart desires more. But during that time, don't promise anything to your 'past one'. This is also the time you could check on his seriousness.
2007-12-07 13:23:59 · answer #4 · answered by Aoi S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've heard older people say stuff like "don't get too involved with one person too soon" but never understood WHY they said it (because for some reason they never explain it when they say cryptic mess like that)...this is why. You're young, so you're developing personal definitions of loyalty and things of this nature as you're personally shaping who "you" are. That's a big job by itself.You need the freedom to custom fit your identity to your specifications, but you're as yet unsure just what your specifications are...that requires looking at what's out there and figuring out what type of personality compliments yours the best. That's a desire in you that's fueled by curiosity, which is age appropriate for you. But having united yourself with a "boyfriend", you've set two developing needs of yours in opposition. You're conflicted because loyalty to your "boyfriend" demands one behavior, but growth and self-awareness demand another. If you were an adult woman, everyone would be criticizing you for "flighty" behavior, expecting you to have grown out of that by now. But this is the time in your life when you're allowed to BE flighty (so that you learn how NOT to be flighty in the future). Of course, you have to experience it to learn from it.
I don't have an answer for you, really. This is one of those things you'll have to weigh out to see which is more significant to you right now. I just thought it might help you to hear someone else spit back their understanding of what you've said. One thing is for sure, though: you're about to learn some deep truths about yourself very soon. Good luck, and Happy Holidays.
2007-12-07 14:13:57 · answer #5 · answered by Captain S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yah ur situation is quite hard...there is only one solution to your problem...physical attraction is not a sole basis of having a good long term relationship.pick one!
If you think ur current bf would be a husband material then pick him but if you think the other guy which you have strong feelings which i guess you havent been with for a long time and willing to do again the "get to know each other" process then by all means pick him.Just be wise in picking.Maybe the best thing is already in front of you and you havent notice it yet , :)
BTW, i dont trust the other guy i smell something fishy...why all of a sudden he is running after you...if he really likes you he should have had communications and intentions with you long time ago...
I think you're more beatiful and gorgeuos now, that is why he is running madly after you..just my 2 cents.
2007-12-07 13:23:12 · answer #6 · answered by Ney 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, you're in a toughy situation. It's kinda like Twilight. I think you shouldn't date that dude 'cause he might hurt you like he did two years ago. Just stick with your boyfriend because he's been there for you longer than the other dude has.
~or~
Tell your bf you want date other people for a WHILE but not break up and go out with that dude to see what he is like. Which one you like better. If your bf agrees to this, then you're lucky. lol.
Good luck
2007-12-07 13:20:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i kno whut u mean... cuz i had a girl with tha same prob, she dumbed me and went for the otha guy like nothin and thats a big NO! do this... tell him how u feel trus me, he'll be mad 4 a couple days... let him cool down then dont talk 2 him 4 a week... u have a brief discusion with both of them and the best thing 2 do is listen 2 whut they both have 2 say... knoing this they probably wnt accept u becuz it wont feel right, as soon as ur heart starts fadding tha other away go for the one it stays with... *Note* - dont try this isf u dont have atleast 80% faith in me... but u should, trus me
2007-12-07 13:20:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do you really want to throw away a year and half long relationship to be with someone who actually turned you away a couple of years ago? I don' t think it would be fait to dump your boyfriend to get into a relationship that may not last a month. I recomend you stick with your boyfriend... unless you like the other guy more.
2007-12-07 13:17:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i know exaaccttllyy how you feel. its really hard i know but first you have to tell your boyfriend about the other guy. if your boyfriend really loves you then he'll understand, but wont let you go. but then again he may break up with you, in that case hes not the right guy. i told my boy friend that we needed a break and he understood. then i went with the other guy and it totally didnt work but now im back with my boyfriend and we've been together for almost a year and a half. its up to you. just pick one o r the other
2007-12-07 13:20:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Best bet is to compare the two. Get out a piece of paper and a pen and jot down what you love best about both of them, by the time you finish one will seem much better than the other and your smile. Go with him, chances are, he wont hurt you. Your gut instincts are rarely wrong.
2007-12-07 13:19:11 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋