My boyfriend and I have lived together for almost a year. We just moved to a city and he got the job as a manager of a great restaurant/bar. I am having a hard time dealing with things: We have completely opposite schedules. He doesnt get home until 5am - and ends up waking me up (I have to be at work at 9am) We dont really get quality time because he has to work weekends. And a little part of me is a bit worried about the restaurant lifestyle (I worked as a waitress for 2 years). I know theres a lot of temptation, drugs, late nights, drinking.. etc. etc.
Any advice?? Is anyone in my position? I need to start getting better sleep.. should i just start having him sleep on the couch?!
2007-12-07 12:58:25 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm a graphic designer. My long term goal is to freelance more (so I could make my hours, work from home, etc.) but thats the future. His goal is to own his own restaurant. Essentially - we could work together down the road, but I'm just having trouble adjusting.
2007-12-07 13:10:46 · update #1
Have him sleep on the couch or dump him , yep you have the restaurant business figured out , it must be the same every place.......
2007-12-07 13:03:01 · answer #1 · answered by Confused 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should talk to him and tell him that being on opposite schedules is starting to get old to you. Tell him your concerns.
Obviously, one of you could switch jobs to be on the same schedule as the other. Another option is to move and both get new jobs.
What skills do you both have? Where else could they be applied? Another question...where are each of your jobs going? Is there a long term career path to them? I would think that if your boyfriend could manage a club or restaraunt at night, he could probably do the same during the day, right? Working the night shift may not be a necessity...unless it is leading his career somewhere. I wouldn't impact the relationship you two have over just a job. Think about the future.
2007-12-07 13:05:45 · answer #2 · answered by BAM 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say either change your schedule to meet up with his, or figure out just exactly what your really after. Are you wanting a life with him, or are you looking for an excuse to move on? Yes, I've worked in a restaurant before and know what can (and does) happen there. If you know your guy, then why worry? If you don't know your guy, then maybe you need to get to know him better(and not just between the sheet either I mean).
2007-12-07 13:09:33 · answer #3 · answered by mangamaniaciam 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my husband is the head chef at a place, and he leaves at 9am and gets out of work around 10:30pm.
we have a baby together, and we are miserable.
i feel like i do not know him anymore, and he never gets to spend time with his daughter.
I thought having our baby would somehow change everything, but it never did.
you either have to learn to live with it, suggest to him another career path, or just leave him before it is too late.
I have been with him 4 years, and it just keeps getting worse.
in that business, no one cares that you have a family at home that needs you, they only care that you make the food and make the place money.
save yourself!!!
talk it over with your honey and if he cannot get another job, i don't know what to tell you. (unless he changes to part time.)
:(
i am sorry you are in the same situation, it is really tough.
we try to set a date night for the night he is off work and it helps a tiny bit...but 3 hours together a week is not enough to continue a serious relationship.
good luck and godspeed.
2007-12-07 13:10:11 · answer #4 · answered by taking fire need assistance 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speak to him about it. See if he plans on fixing his hours so that yours and his somewhat combine rather than basically living two different lives and ending up like roommates. It may be this hectic because he just started and is trying to get things to a better level. Better to talk about it now before it gets any worse and starts really affecting you and your relationship.
2007-12-07 13:05:50 · answer #5 · answered by chinaricanpucca 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a toough one. I used to work in restaurants. Only thing I can say is get used to it..or I am afriad...get out.
2007-12-07 13:02:49 · answer #6 · answered by dale i 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he staying late to get stoned? you do not need that if he is. If he is towing the line. get used to it. My hub and I had to work oppisite shifts but we had the money to like like we wanted. Weigh your options. If your lonely say so.
2007-12-07 13:33:31 · answer #7 · answered by Linda S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋