Having problems with my brother!! help me plz read even if its long plz i am begging you !?

Question

Ok, so I am having problems with my "Brother", heres how it started. When we both grew up he is the one that msotly stands out, and makes more friends, and also makes fun of me. When ever we go to my moms friends hosue where we have been going for years, infront of all the people there which are like my age and some other people around the block we know, he always makes fun of me and says things like that i do this and that at home, and its stupid, he makes fun of me, everyone laughs, then they have fun with him, then people look at me like im a stupid person, or that i dont know anything.

Now when he turned 20 years old, he has a girlfriend, then my mom fights with him because he is usally going out without permision, and came home from college erly. It turns out he lied and isnt going to college anymore, and he still says he is, so one day he wants to go out with his girlfriend, my mom said you need to work tomarrow, and he says no im still going, and disobeys my mom, and she said if you leave this house youi are nto coming back in here, so he leaves he takes his stuff and moves to his girlfriends house, and then, soon enough he comes back home after a week saying sorry and stuff like that, so what happened, after that a month passes by, we fight and fight he yells at me pushes me around, tells me to get out of his room, when its really our room. And continues to hit me and make fun of me, if he hits me I tlel my mom and she says, did you hit him, and if he says no, she screams and tells me why am I lieing. Why would he say yes?> he lies a lot. So after 2 months, he fights with her again and leaves I finally have my own bed my own room everything is peace full, but my mom looks outside the window till 2:00 am and never leaves it seeing if he comes across the street because he was staying across the street, and he even man handled my mom on the street. And talks about her and trashes her, then after 6 months he comes back like nothing with no job fatter than ever, its all horrible. I thought that would teach him a lesson but no. now I cant sleep in my own bed, he takes my things off of my bed and tells me that doesn’t belong there, do this do that, and makes fun of me, and now idk what to do!!!!!!!!!! Its all so horrible. Plz help me, I cant tlak to my mom bedcause she will just ask him if its true or not and hes gonna say no and im gonna get screamed at. Nothing helps!!! Can u plz help give me advice.

Answer 1

Speak to a school counselor. He or she should be able to help you communicate with your family and decide what you should or should not be subjected to or tolerate. I wish you peace. Good luck.

Answer 2

I don't know how old you are but I will assume 14 or 15. This is a tough call but I'm going to throw it out there anyway. Stay out of this "bully's" way. When he comes in...you go out. I'm sure you have other family members that have given plenty advice to MOM about son but she refuses to see what you and everyone else does. Focus on school grades so some college can follow. You don't need to attend a University for success in this world but you do need a diploma and anything extra will put you in a better financial category. Talk with other family members about what you see but in your heart keep this goal and RUN WITH IT! There are many like you living the same life...its not uncommon...you are not alone. Hit the books girl!

Answer 3

Your brother is 20 and old enough to be supporting himself. It looks more like "failure to launch" syndrome. She has not done a very good job of instilling ethics, responsibility, morals or any of those other essential qualities that adults need to make it in the big world. He is behaving like an infant.

Please print this page out and show it to your mom.

Your mom is the only one who can draw the line here. She is not doing him any favors by taking him back and putting up with his abuse over and over again. If she allows it, she will still be supporting him into his 30s.

She needs to take control over the situation.

If she allows him back, he must either work and pay rent + a % of the utilities, or he must be in college... preferably BOTH.
If he can't pony-up she needs to kick him out and change the locks.

If she does not want to be direct about kicking him out, she needs to make the house "unliveable" for your spoiled brother... kill the cable TV service, kill the internet service, put a lock-box on the thermostat, and quit buying groceries.

I don't know how old you are, but you need to take steps to make yourself scarce as long as your brother is there. If that means hanging out at school or a friend's house until your mom gets home, or getting a job after school, then fine.

You can even invent your own gig to make some money and kill some time at the same time. People will be wanting help in removing holiday decorations. They will need help in raking leaves, waliing dogs, or babysitting while they go to parties.

The fact that your brother is a fat BUM that can't hold a job is more than enough ammo for you to use in your neighborhood networking... use it against him. He ought to be ashamed.

You might want to consider getting a locking trunk of some sort to keep your special things in.

Answer 4

I can't see how old you are, but I assume you are younger and probably still in school. Is there a counsellor or teacher there you can talk to? If not perhaps your priest/pastor. If you aren't a church goer there are still church based outreach groups which will help you.

This is not a good situation for you to be living in. I would try as much as possible to occupy yourself with extra-curricular activities. Study at the library so that you can have some peace. If you are a good kid, chances are that all of this negative attention from your brother stems from jealousy. That you probably have a much brighter future than he does.

I am sorry if my advice isn't very helpful, but I couldn't read it and then not reply. Take care of yourself.

Answer 5

What a terrible situation for a young person to be in. But you young folks have to learn to stand up for yourselves, when he lies and she starts yelling at you you tell her NO WAY WILL SHE BE YELLING AT YOU IN THIS CASE BECAUSE HE IS NOT TELLING THE TRUTH. You can be respectful and firm at the same time. The problem with being young is that you very easily "fold" in the face of an onslaught by adults. That's what you have to STOP doing. Again, it's critical you remain roughly calm and respectful of your mom, because you lose everything if you can't do that, but at the same time make the truth and your feelings known IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS, with maturity and grace and calm. And the next time he touches your things on your bed or whatever is going on there, punch him right in the face, hard, so he doesn't forget it. Your brother is a loser, he acts like a child and is being treated like a child by your mom (unfortunately).

Answer 6

Yes it is abuse. If you are a doctor/physician you should have plenty of resources at your finger tips. Physicians know what abuse looks like, they have to report it. So I think you have your answer on that one. As for your child. He cannot just take her away, visitation yes. Why didn't you call the police? Come at me with a knife, I make the call. My first husband was abusive, I was young and put up with it until he hit me while I was holding my daughter. Then I left with nothing except the shirt on my back and my daughter. I had no job, no car and lived homeless for several months. Be happy you are out alive and you have a roof over you and your child's head.