how can I tell my dad to "leave me alone" in a more, non-rude, sense?

Question

I'm 20 years old and I am in the process of moving back home for a few months before I get in t an apartment in Boston, and also go to school there. I know that, because my dad owns the house, he will feel he has the right to intrude in my personal space (in the attic). how can I display to him that I am through the "being parented" stage and I am living my own life now. in a better sense, HOW CAN I GET HIM TO LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!?

just for the person that stated having curfews...... i'm 20 years old, that word doesn't exist any more (it actually never really did). but I think not telling my dad where I am at all times will be a good start to displaying that I am myself now. yes that was a big factor before I moved out here.

Answer 1

If his house is just a place to store your stuff and crash until you leave for Boston, then you should not be there very much at all... you should either be at school, studying, sleeping or WORKING.

As long as you are there, you are subject to your dad's "guidance". About all you can do is gently use a number of techniques to either put him off or make him feel needed so he will leave you alone.

That means you nod in agreement on any lecture you sit through, and when you are busy, you ask him if you can please catch up with him sometime after this exam. Be sure to thank him for his attention either way and tell him you appreciate him... which is ultimately what he wants. Throw the guy a bone.
Psychology 101.

Answer 2

Without knowing your dad or you or why he is being invasive makes it difficult to give you a straight-up ans. In most cases parents feel that as long as you are "under their roof" they have a right to cross the line into your private spaces..Its a kind of possessive quality that being a parent can justify...I do understand your frustration but I have to tell you, dont take it to heart especially knowing that you will be in boston on your own and you wont have to deal with it. Also understand that it is natural to seek independence from your parents not to say you dont love them but to assert that you are your own person and can make your own decisions. As much as you would like them to understand that you need to try to understand the parent/ daughter( or son) connection as well...Be patient and before you know it this will be a blast in your past...good luck!

Answer 3

Maybe you shouldn't move back home. Your father owes the house and he has certain rules that he will want to enforce, i.e. curfew, habits, house rules, etc. If you want to let your father know you are through the "being parented stage", find another place to live don't go back home. Funny how sometimes parents seem to think that when kids come back home they still need parenting.

Answer 4

You should sit down and talk to him about it. Tell him that you are going through a phase of your life when it is important to your self-esteem to be independent.

At the same time, it IS his house so you will need to abide by his rules - adult or not. Ask him right from the get go if you can both establish some house rules which will make his "interference" unnecessary.

Answer 5

Don't move in. Find the cheapest hotel you can find to stay in for a few months, it will just be about the cost of renting an apartment. You are wrong to want to move back in to his house and expect to be left alone. You are right that he shouldn't be trying to "parent" you, but you seem to be saying and wanting more than just that, you want to be "left the hell alone." If you want that, don't move into his house.

Answer 6

Get your own place. That would probably be the better option. Good luck

Answer 7

Do you pay rent?
If not, then it's not "your" space, now is it.