when i first met him it was wonderful. he was so great the first year or so but we broke up for 4 months got back together and he isn't the same. he found out right before we brokeup that his daugther was raped when she was 12 by her stepfather. he went to be with her and was in counseling with her and then he got some counseling too. his kids told him he should be the happiest man in the world because i did so much for him and them too. he came back and was totally freaked out said he wasn't sure if he wanted to ever get married again or even live with someone. since we have been back together, it was his idea to get back together, he said that he did. but it has been 9 months since we are back together and he went to company xmas party,one that we have been to together in the past,didn't tell me about it or invite me. his daughter was the one who told me he was goin. what do i do?
2007-12-07 12:50:22 · 15 answers · asked by frogloverhege 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well i would sit down and talk too him, and ask him what's been going on. I would also make sure you reasure her.
2007-12-07 12:54:19 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you two are still together then give him some space. Let him work out the delimna in his mind. The info that a trusted significant other caused great harm to ones child is one that brings on layers of guilt and fear and distrust and many other negative emotions. Powerful stuff. Dont push. show you love in supportive ways. If the struggle continues too long however, you have a difficult choice to make. Some people prefer to wallow in their pain, nothing you can do about it. If this happens, move on. Maybe still be a friend but dont let the albatross become your own.
2007-12-07 12:58:40 · answer #2 · answered by Daniel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U need a big hug- so much energy has gone into this guy you are inlove with. To be in a relationship it is a two - way thing- i don't really have any answers but i can only tell you that to go with your instincts..
You feel you have been taking for granted.. ? i think you need to talk to him - it sounds like what happened to his daughter has shocked him alot that he has alot of anger and built up feelings inside him that there is no energy left to feel other feelings like the ones he may have for you..
I think alot of men have trouble expressing themselves - maybe he feels really guilty in himself ..who knows..
maybe he went to the party because he had to go but didnt really want to or want to enjoy or make a fuss do he didnt ask you? Perhaps he has lost trust in others because of the event with his daughter..
I think he needs some help.. by pushing you away maybe that is a sign?
good luck
2007-12-07 13:04:34 · answer #3 · answered by Worldaponurshoulders 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on or give him space. Talk to him cordially at the party but don't bring up that you want to get back together he already knows this. The ball is definitely in his court.
2007-12-07 12:55:08 · answer #4 · answered by Heidi62 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you have some communications problems. You need to sit down and talk. Be calm, tell him you just want to talk about a few things. If he gets upset or panicky, let him calm down and try again in a few minutes. Keep your tone calm and unacusatory. Ask him, "Honey, why did you go to the Xmas Party without me? It's not that I mind...I just want to know if there's something wrong that you aren't telling me..." Tell him that you want to have an open and honest relationship and that you want what is best for both of you. Ask him about how he feels about different things and keep your relationship one where communication is a given. Tell him about how you feel and trust him.
2007-12-07 12:53:07 · answer #5 · answered by Alicia 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Don't worry about it. You are getting paranoid over NOTHING. This guy has just had to deal with his daughter's trauma which has caused HIM major stress too. Why add to that?? Just be there for him and be good to him. Stop stressing over small stuff. ITS NOT A BIG DEAL!!
2007-12-07 12:53:56 · answer #6 · answered by Nae 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow how do you get over the only guy you loved thats a hard question, but i liked this buy since kindergarden and i still love him and now we are going out and if we broke up i would try to get over it by not thinking about him or trying to pay no attention to him, because if you pay attention to him you will get sadder and sadder every day,
2007-12-07 12:56:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There isn't anything you can do. If you bother him incessantly, you will drive him further away. Let him have some space. I know it is hard, but that is what you have to do. If you are meant to be together, he will be back.
2007-12-07 12:54:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
eat alot of junk food and yell at him! and then sit and watch sad movies! =] and sorry about what happend 2 u 2 and his daughter
2007-12-07 12:58:15 · answer #9 · answered by :]] 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him what's up? Be upfront and honest. It is to save your relationship. If you think he's worth it, do it.
2007-12-07 12:55:23 · answer #10 · answered by apple juice 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋