I have a 3 and 2 year old and when there grandpareents come to visit they Play up So Bad... It is Stressfull as When I say something to the children the grandparents tell the children to do the opposite..... For Example When The Children have finished eating a big meal they Keep asking for food but when i say No the Grandparents Give in and give them food... What Should I do!!! I know they dont get to see them much but they dont need to keep giving them food when i say no.... Cause after they leave the children Play up even worse than what they were before the Grandparents come to visit, and i Am left to deal with them....
2007-12-07 11:56:58 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Hahaha.
I'm a grandparent so excuse me for thinking this is funny. I spoil my grandbabies every chance I get and I hope my kids don't like it.
It's the grandparent's job to spoil their grandbabies. It's paybacks for all the trouble their kids gave them while growing up. Hahaha
2007-12-07 12:11:21 · answer #1 · answered by Pragmatism Please 7 · 5⤊ 4⤋
We've been there and managed to survive... The first thing to do is explain in great detail exactly what your rules are and why you expect them to be obeyed by your children. After that, when the grandparents give in to them, the children are still in trouble. There have been many nights when one or more of my kids have been sent away from the table because after being told to eat and refusing, Grandma got up to fix them something else. I always make sure that it is clear that they are expected to mind mom and dad even if another adult offers them something else. The first few times Grandma left the table to go cry but when we stood firm that WE were the ones with final authority over the kids things got much much better. Now they will ask before they offer something they're not sure we want the kids to have and rarely go against us. When they do, it doesn't take much to remind them. The rules are the same whether the grandparents are there or not. If it continues, you can always tell the grandparents they aren't welcome to visit until they can follow your rules. It even works when we go to their house.
Best of luck to you!
2007-12-07 13:05:16 · answer #2 · answered by Stacie 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If they are only coming to visit once inawhile I think I would suck it up and let it go. If they are with their Grandparents all the time then something would need to be worked out.
This is what every Mother has to go thru. What happens with me is a lot worse being my daughter has a sensative gut and allergies and my Mother in law no matter how many times I would tell her if she feeds that to my daughter she will become ill. She never would listen until she got so sick one time she felt bad. Grandparents don't like to have to say no to their Grandkids and love to spoil and send them on their way. Some Grandparents are good and others don't listen at all.
2007-12-07 12:08:13 · answer #3 · answered by hsmommy06 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When Grandparents visit, you always want to have a friendly family environment for all the family to experience. Grandparents always SPOIL their grandchildren.. They mean no harm, and as you have said,they don't see them that much. They won't always both be here to see the children, and when that day comes ,wouldn't it be nicer to let the children remember Grandma and Grandpa as loving ,giving wonderful memories? After their visit is over, you will be able to return them to what you want the children to be.. Tolerate it.. For the grandparents sake ,the children's sake and YOUR sake and the sake of peace in the family. I understand they are undermining what you want , but all too soon the children will be grown, and peace in the family is much more important.. Believe it or not , you will remember this time, in the future, as a beautiful wondrous time of all of your lives!!
SOLOMON
2007-12-07 13:06:57 · answer #4 · answered by solomon 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand your feelings on this but here is some advice that was given to me when my oldest was a baby and I took it to heart and hope you do too. Remember the relationship between grandchildren and their grandparents are very important. We are there to disapline and correct but grandma's are there to spoil and cuddle. There is a balance and that will come with how to raise your children. I allow my parents and in-laws a lot of room to spoil but when I draw the line I draw it with my children. If we are going to Mimi's at 8:00pm for something I make sure my children know that they are not to ask for sweets, soda's or stuff like that. If asked what you want to drink I tell them you can have water, milk or juice. I will draw the line with my parents but only as a last resort and in private where my children cannot hear. Such as Abby cannot have sugar after 5 or she will bounce. I know that one day they will be gone and all my children will have will be memories and I want those memories to be wonderful like mine are. Memories to share with their children. I would relax and let them bond and enjoy one another.
2007-12-08 02:29:51 · answer #5 · answered by Petra 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are just going to have to face up to the grandparents. Your house = your rules.
If grandparents will not accept this, make it clear they will not be welcome to come visit.
You can try talking to them before they come, but the next time you are contradicted by a grandparent, tell them then and and there that that is not the way it is going to be and if they are going to be bad then they have to go home. And mean it and do it.
Unfortunately, some grandparents do play power games and are not prepared to support "the other" parent with children.
2007-12-09 12:53:37 · answer #6 · answered by Terryc 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell Grandma and Grandpa that you and the kids really look forward to their visits, but there are some things you need to discuss. Tell them that you're having a hard time with the kids and that you need to set rules and boundaries for them. Make a reference at this point to Grandma and Grandpa's own experience in parenting. It will give them a point to which they can identify with your own dilemma. Tell them that you'd really like their help with your kids. That their experience would be a great help. Tell them that if they could abide by the rules and boundaries you've set down (no means no), that you'd sure appreciate it. Don't set limits on them, enlist their help.
2007-12-07 12:03:43 · answer #7 · answered by dstluke 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Say something. Put it in kid terms, like when grandma goes to give him something to eat "thanks anyway grandma, but no more food". And at the same time take the food from her and send the kids away to play.
OR tell them the kids have a medical condition and the Dr said they can only eat specific things.
What they are doing is RUDE.
2007-12-07 12:05:03 · answer #8 · answered by emo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell the grandparents you love them but they have to tell the kids no because they continue to act up when they leave and you are the one that has to deal with it.
2007-12-07 12:06:06 · answer #9 · answered by glamour04111 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you only have to put up with it once or twice a year for a couple of days just let it go. unless it really gets on your nerves I don't think its worth making a big fuss and ruining the relationship with the grandparents.
2007-12-07 12:07:54 · answer #10 · answered by Far Dreamer 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
next time they come visit.. pull them aside and make it very very clear they need to listen to what your say, and they have to respect their wishes... or they won't be welcomed any more.
I think they feel bad telling the kids no.. when it comes to any thing.. specially if they don;t see them often... but they need to learn to respect your wishes, and respect your choices as a parent!! make it clear!!
2007-12-07 12:06:56 · answer #11 · answered by ♥cutemamma♥ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋