What to do, double-booked sort of......?

Question

My company Christmas party is scheduled for one night.

Turn's out that my fiance's work is throwing me a surprise bridal shower that same night.

Since it is a surprise, I am not supposed to know. The shower is at 7pm and the Christmas party is at 8pm.

I am technically the guest of honor at the shower, so I don't know if I can bow out of the bridal shower "early" and say "Sorry, got another party to attend"...so do I just tell my work sorry?

Please note, that the general consensus at the office is "If you don't attend the holiday party it is career suicide."

DRAMA!

Fiance' has asked his work to push the date but they already have caterer confirmed.

juliejuliejulie....catered parties do last more than an hour and a half

Answer 1

If it is supposed to be a surprise, then how can you be expected to "know" about it. I don't think you tell your work "sorry." I don't think you tell your work anything. You tell work you're planning to attend. At the last moment, you are pleasantly surprised by a surprise bridal shower, which of course, you are obligated to attend. You then either go to the company Christmas party late, or not at all. Although it is NORMALLY career suicide not to attend the party, when you deliver the explanation that it was a bridal shower in your honor that kept you from attending, I'm pretty sure that'll be a valid career-saving excuse...especially if you show up late.

Can't be your fault if it's a surprise.

Answer 2

While I don't know what type of office you work at, I do know they cannot fire you, or refuse to promote you based on non-attendance at a party. That's illegal, and your bosses know it.

I would simply tell your boss that you are having a surprize shower thrown for you that evening, and while you'll TRY to make the office party, you can't guarantee attendance. Given that the shower is at 7 and the office party at 8, you can probably arrive at your office party a little late, and no one will be the wiser. Your boss SHOULD understand that you had no control over having a surprize shower thrown for you.

Make sure you act surprized though! Good luck!

Answer 3

Get a grip. No party should last more than two hours unless it's a seated dinner. You should be able to do both by arriving at the work party 1/2 hour late.
If they are both seated dinners, you've got to tell the big cheeses at your workplace that you're being honored at a bridal shower and that takes priority. Keep it light, remind them that if your marriage is unhappy your work will suffer, etc. There's a difference in a party planned to honor you & fiance, and a party whose time & date was directed by the boss's babysitter.
Never mind the secretarial consensus, go to the top, explain the situation, and show them that you are a cut above DRAMA.

Answer 4

Your fiance needs to tell his work colleagues that you have your company party that night and are planning to go. As a result, they will need to tell you about the shower and it won't be a surprise.

You only get married once (hopefully). There will be other Christmas parties. Nobody at work would fault you for attending your own shower. If they did, you need to ask yourself if that's the kind of company you want to work for.

Answer 5

Tell your boss that they are throwing you a bridal shower--I'm sure noone will fault you for missing the holiday party.

As for the office thinking that missing the holiday party is "career suicide," that is a bit dramatic. You shouldn't be judged based on your attendance at an optional party. I work for one of the largest entertainment and broadcast firms and I often miss parties, but it hasn't been detrimental to my career at all.

It's your bridal shower and you should be there for the whole thing.

Answer 6

Where the heck do you work that's it's career suicide if you don't go to the party? Do you actually want to work in such place? I fail to see how you can attend the shower if it's supposed to be a surprise and you already have plans. They didn't plan this shower very well considering they didn't even check to see if you were available. My best advice is to talk to your boss, tell her what you told us and ask her what you should do.

Answer 7

Just show up at your office party a little late. Surely the bridal shower can't last too long, leave there at 8:30 or 9;

Answer 8

Tell your company you are having your shower that night. Granted, people don't know anyone in your husband's office. I think this is the safe bet.

As for "career suicide", I think that's a bit dramatic and false.

My mother works for a major entertainment firm. She didn't attend this years company's party. Did anyone really care? NO.

They can't fire you b/c you didn't attend a party, that's illegal.

Answer 9

Wouldn't your boss understand if you have to be at your own bridal shower?
I'd risk the career for attending your party.

Answer 10

i think your fiance should try his hardest to talk to the caterer and see if ANYTHING can be done. I hate to be cold, but since its a surprise - they really should try to accomidate your previous obligations. How fun can a surprise party be, if i makes you reorganize your life??

From your end, i saw speak with your supervisor and explain the situation. explain it to them just like you explained it to us. Ask them for assistance in helping you find a solution (leave out terms like "career suicide). This shows that you are considerate to everyone involved, you still have your career in perspective of celebration, and have no desire to commit "career suicide" or make people shell out a bunch of money for you just to leave early.

Your eagerness to make everyone happy is rare in this day in age. Its actually quite lovely and refreshing. I think if everyone at your husbands work knows that you have a previous, and unavoidable prior engagement - they will understand.