How do i Help my wife feel better about herself? She has a very difficult time with this time of year,?

Question

She has suffered many losses of family members.
And today she has been feeling that she's worthless and flawed. I love her soooo much and would do ANYTHING for her.
I know better than to (FIX) everything as we men always try to do :)
I've been encouraging her and I feel I'm supportive enough.
But i need positive suggestions PLEASE NO SARCASM, I'm serious here.

She has had alot of her dreams crushed and how do I revitalize her ability to believe that dreams really DO come true.
The way mine have by meeting and marrying her.

I thank you all for your answers, Merry Christmas to you all, I'll never give up.
And I'll try your suggestions. :-)

I'd really like to thank you all for your input on this matter.
You all have given me better ways to assist my wife through these trials that life dishes out.
Not only have your suggestions helped her,
They have helped me as well. :-)
God Bless You All, Thank you very very much.
All your answers are helpful, wish all could be BEST so you'll need to decide.

Answer 1

Action, Scott.

That the only way I know of to get out of my own stuff, is to work with others. Nursing homes, orphans homes, state schools, local grade school kids, half way houses, prison ministries, animal shelters, soup kitchens, fund raising, charities, wow. The list is endless.

This time of year is especially hard for people who have lost loved ones. I've tried geographical cures, but you know how that goes..every where I go, there I am! Honestly, the cure for the blues is a good diet, exercise, sunshine, support, working with others and filling the void in your gut with a worthwhile and rewarding project. Something that lifts you up spiritually, emotionally and mentally.

Join a health club with her, go to church with her, get her a special pet, start a supper club with your friends, become foster parents. Anything but nothing will work Scott.

I love it that you love your wife enough to post here, and I hope you'll help to propel her into action. Don't give up.

Bless your heart.

Answer 2

You sound like a wonderful husband and lovely person, Scott!!

I understand grief and how the holidays can be especially sensitive as I have lost my brother, mother, and two friends in a short time. I believe that it is VERY helpful to talk to family/friends who were closest to those who have died to share our feelings, tell heartwarming stories and have a good cry.

Getting support is always a positive step, check out:
http://www.grief.net/Certification/Certification.htm
http://www.caringinfo.org/GrievingALoss

It sounds like there are at least two primary issues, grieving and self esteem. Though we are ALL flawed (! ;-), no one is worthless, nor should have to feel that they are...if it is ongoing, this is depression. Do you know why she feels this way? That is the key to a solution.

Is she healthy and fit? For anyone, encouraging a healthy diet and excercise every day can do wonders! Try 30 minute walks together in the morning and/or evening. Walk together, hold hands, talk about the future. Nurture HOPE. :-)

Is she accomplishing her goals? Encourage her to take action in areas that she has talent and achieve things that are important to her.

Encourage her to share her feelings and try to understand their source together. If you believe that this is more than a slump and that she has a lot of work to do to feel worthwhile, it may be a benefit for her to talk to a therapist. It is great to have an objective person to bounce off of.

Love, nurturing and having things to look forward to is a really good foundation.

With a husband who is so devoted, she already has one very important blessing! Hugs and best wishes! XO

(email me if you want to talk!)

Answer 3

You sound very sweet.
It sounds as if your wife is grieving... you might want to look up grieving workbooks on amazon... there are a lot of them that deal with grief and loss, and there may be some things you two can do together.
Another thing is to come up with some kind of ritual... she would probably have to make it up herself in order for it to be meaningful to her... but then she could talk to you about it or you two could do something together... like light candles, etc.
In regards to having her dreams crushed... I'm not sure what those are... but brief counseling that helps her with goal-setting and taking small steps may increase her sense of empowerment and control, and thus raise self-esteem and confidence.
Good luck to you and your wife.

Answer 4

You are a loving husband. This is just going to take a while for her to feel better. Be willing to listen to her and give her a hug. You can't make it better, but having a listening ear from the one you love really helps. She is grieving. You might want to look at some books about this and they would have some ideas in gradually getting better. Good luck.

Answer 5

aww you seem really sweet. Just try to take her out so maybe she can let her mind wonder from her loss. Like surprise her with some flowers or something. Or embrace her losses and sit down and talk about them and help her remember the good times. Best of luck.

Answer 6

Be supportive of her and let her know this every so often. Seeing a professional councilor to help handle these issues could help as well.