What is wrong with me?

Question

I have been super stressed out lately with the holidays and all. It seems to me as if nothing goes right ever. My husband cannot do anything to make me happy and I am upset all the time. I think I need a break...to get away from all the stress but with two younger girls it is hard to do and my husband works all day as well. I never have a moment to myself and have not for approximately three years. Can someone recommend some ideas? And please dont waste my time with rude comments and/or answers...this will only add to my stress level at this moment!

Financially we are unable to take any days off work. We would not be able to make it month to month if I did.

I have two girls, one who will be three next week and one who is 7 months old. I feel bad leaving them for just a couple hours to get away and feel bad for my husband too for acting the way I have been...but somedays its just too much to deal with!

Answer 1

As a survior of stress that almost killed me,you need to just take a breather try to wake up before your girls and take a nice hot bubble bath or a long shower with some type of lavender bath wash in it,I do not know if you work or the ages of your girls,you need to make time for yourself and just relax even it is just some alone time in the morning or at night after the little ones go to bed.I was in a very stressful marriage(not saying you are),i have 5 childern my youngest at the time were 2&3 i had devolped heart problems and severe anxiety,i was in the ER with what i thought was a heart attack,thank god a traveling doctor came to our little town and flat out told me to stop or it was going to be my last christmas,my list of things were to do time alone,keep things on a low volume try not to let little things grow into big things when things seem to be so overwhelming and going bad find something to laugh about,if your girls are small enough take a bubble bath with them play some soothing music in the bathroom and sing your heart out,just have fun try to go for a walk alone,watch a movie alone late at night or early day.It is hard to write down things because i dont know your situation but please dont let yourself get sick,stress almost killed me you want to be there for your girls,find something fun to do this is going to sound strange but even color with your girls but seriously lavender is a calming scent try it if things are really bad go see your doctor or talk to someone that is upbeat and will listen do not talk to anyone that is down and negative.You will be fine and things will turn around for you they did for me and things are 100 % better.I hiope this will help

Answer 2

It's kind of something you have to work out for yourself. I don't know what your typical day is like, so I can't tell you. But I'll bet if you look hard enough you can rearrange some things or skip some things so that you get at least a half hour to yourself. Make your husband watch the kids and tell them not to bother you. I know it's also hard to think about money, but maybe you could find something you could do without that would let you take off just a little time without going under financially. You may be surprised to find that sometimes working more costs you so much money that it's not really effective, what with clothes, gas, etc. But this kind of sustained stress isn't good for you, and sometimes the body will enforce a break by making you sick. Try not to let it get that far. Good luck!

Answer 3

It doesnt matter how perfect your life is, or what a great hubby you have, but when you are a stay at home mum and stressed out, you fail to see all the good that is in front of you. I only have 1 girl, 8 months, and im a stay at home mum. Just one child is hard enough, and add to that maintaining the household, cooking, cleaning, oh it doesnt stop. When your hubby gets home from work, he can relax and chill out, but for us mums, it doesnt stop. It can take a toll, and can add to stress levels, making you snappy and catty and hard to live with, because if mummy aint happy, well aint nobody happy. You need time out, maybe have 1 day a week where you leave your girls with a family member, or your hubby. Even if its just takin off with a book, and spending a day on the beach, or going on a picnic with girlfriends. There are so many things that you can do to bring you back to sanity that really dont cost you a penny.
its not being selfish of you to take time out for yourself. You need to be able to give your whole self to your family, but how can you do this when you are close to breaking point. So dont feel guilty, go ahead and take that time out that you deserve

Answer 4

you sound like a stressed out mommy, talk to your hubby about how he can help you (even more than he usually does:)) be specific, as in,
You are now in charge of nightly dishes and bedtime while I take a nice hot bath with a cup of peppermint (its suppose to be relaxing) with some soothing music or a good book, the alternative is that I have a break down.
I have to do this with my hubby every now and then, its gotten to the point where he prefers me saying this then him having to guess how I am feeling for a week and then break down.
Also, it wouldn't hurt to talk to a doctor about an low dose anti-depressant, just to help you relax.

In response to your added details.
I've been there, when my girls were that age I swear I was in the worst state of depression. We were flat broke, actually hugely in debt, just out of college, my hubby had just started a new business, it wasn't making any money, I had few friends as we were living in a new area. My hubby got so worried he called the women's group leader at church and had her call and check up on me. They devised a plan for me to go with her to a womens conference. I would be gone for four days and it was held at the college I had just graduated from. While it was fun, I was so stressed out about spending money we didn't have, missing my kids, etc. that it wasn't near as fun and relaxing as it should have been. Now I look back and realize I have very few memories of my second daughters first 18 months, I was in a blur of stress. It has gotten better. My hubby started making enough money to pay the bills, and now I try to make time for myself, I never want to go back to that state of mind. I joined a book club, so I can get out one night a month and have girl time for free. I guess what I'm saying is your girls will be fine if yo leave for a couple hours and regroup, and when mommy's happy everyone is happy.

Answer 5

Does hubby work 7 days a week 24 hours a day? I think not. Therefore, if you have not had a break in 3 years, something is wrong and it is now coming out in your emotions.

Make it clear that when he gets home, after he "de-stresses" from work for one hour, it is then his turn to be parent until the kids are tucked in, period. He is to do his share of the work here to you know.

Then, one day on the weekend is yours. That means daddy is in charge of kids, household chores, meals, etc. and you and a friend (or by yourself) head out and do something you want to do with no guilt. Exercise, see a movie, shop, go to a book store, whatever. That is your day and no excuses from him.

Believe me, he will begin to appreciate what you do while he is not there and you will not feel the way you do--not valued. That is the real issue here, you are not valued enough by him and have had no time for you for 3 years.

Have a good time!

Answer 6

All I can do is tell you what my husband and I do. I stayed home with our kids for almost 8 years. Granted I did go to school and get a degree in that time frame. Anyways, when my husband would come home at night he automatically knew that I was going to pull my hair out. My husband would get thru the door he would grab up the kids and i would practically run out the door. I would either go out and get my nails done, go tanning or get a massage. This was at least once a week. Now, the tables are turned. I am the full time worker and when I get thru the door in the evening, those kids are in my arms. I always called this time our TIME OUT. Both moms and dads need a time out.
I understand your situation, but even when tough times financially it is always a good idea to pamper yourself. At least once a week.
Talk to your husband.......tell him everything...even the hard stuff when it comes to him. All he can do is be supportive.
Good luck, I am sure of it that you deserve a great pat on the back!

Answer 7

Nothing is better than to pamper yourself and be on your own doing stuff you enjoy when youre fed up with lifes trials and tribulations. Its hard to be a mum at home alone with kids when the other half works. We all need a break and you should do just that. If youre able to spend a weekend or day away at a spa for example it can work magic. You could be mildly depressed. Chat to someone like your doc. I know that when my partner tried to 'make things better ' I found it irritating to say the least. Good luck honey.

Answer 8

Whenever I'm feeling overwhelmed, getting organized and breaking down larger tasks into smaller steps helps me out a lot. Keeping to-do lists and crossing the tasks off as I get them done make me see that I'm making progress. Also I wouldn't be afraid of asking for help from other people around you and not assume that people can't. There's nothing wrong with asking for help. I have two small nephews and am actually pretty surprised at how they are capable of doing things around the house to help even at a very young age. They can do a lot if you teach them, and every little bit helps. Hang in there!

Answer 9

an extremely ill mama dogs is an extremely stressful difficulty. and that i comprehend your anger at a number of the solutions which you gained. that's primary so which you will desire to vent back to those persons a number of your anger and frustration. So, attempt to proceed to be calm and save your concentration on your dogs & domestic dogs. do no longer enable this cloud your actual objective - a healthy dogs. And specific, i'd desire to comprehend this effect. Kudos to you on your speedy action in looking after 7 domestic dogs! it isn't any longer undemanding! I want that greater human beings would comprehend that there are situations that stump even the final of vets. jointly as the calicum project is the main undemanding with those warning signs, it isn't any longer the only reason. And your dedication to this dogs and her domestic dogs is somewhat, very admirable. So, you already know which you're responding to this disaster interior the final way accessible. you're doing all you're able to do in an extremely confusing difficulty. enable God handle something. Peace

Answer 10

sounds like you need more help around the house at night when your husband is at home to take off some of the stress. when he gats home have him take over looking after the grils so you can relax for a while and get a moment to think.