PS - I dated his friend simultaneously, but he is not (now) in the wedding party, but invited.
PPS - I've never had a problem with this because it is mutual that we dated each other's friends - but with the wedding it is odd and I feel sick about it.
PPPS - I desperately want her to be there and prep me for the big day. Is it a slap in the face to ask her to be my personal attendant but not have her in the dress and standing up for me?
2007-12-07 09:56:26 · 12 answers · asked by Victoria 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
She's been my friend for years and she met my fiance through me when he & I were friends and I was dating his friend. I know - weird - but she wasn't very supportive at first but now she is.... This is hard. Fiance leaves it totally up to me..... He knows how close we are and we hang out with my ex (his friend) all the time, too. Odd situation - just roll with it?!
2007-12-07 10:16:51 · update #1
First of all, if you haven't already, I think you should talk to your fiance and make sure he is okay with you asking her. If he is, then you should then talk with your friend and ask her if she also feels comfortable with the situation. Chances are you are just making the situation more complicated than it really is, which is totally understandable given the situation and the fact that you are planning a wedding (that alone is stressful). My guess is that she will be super happy for you and definitely want to be your bridesmaid... she is your bff after all. In the case that she doesn't feel comfortable then no worries. She will still be there for you even without the official title. Best of luck with your planning.
2007-12-07 10:10:45 · answer #1 · answered by bubbles 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, what a extraordinary tale! My first reaction grow to be to assert merely be in the marriage - what's the great deal. yet once you somewhat do unlike this individual, then you shouldn't attend. merely answer the telephone while she calls next time and if she asks you to be a bridesmaid be form and say "i'm so happy for you yet regrettably i'm (fill in the sparkling; e.g. out of city, attending yet another wedding ceremony, and so on. and so on.). it is so spectacular to hearken to from you after all those years and that i actually wish you the very superb!" and that's it! Ta da!
2016-10-10 12:10:35 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would ask your fiance if he doesnt like the idea explain to her and she would understand. If he is cool with it you have no problem. I think she would be honored to be by your side in the wedding or prepping you for it. She has to know this conversation is coming, just explain to her how things are. She will be there and that is all that matters.
2007-12-07 19:54:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should ask her. Your fiance should be glad that the two of you are getting along. Sometimes things work out to be funny like that. So go ahead and ask her. But also keep your eyes open.
2007-12-07 10:05:50 · answer #4 · answered by stcarter79 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you want her in the wedding ask her and if she says no then say ok. I have been in weddings where I hated the other half but I was there for my friend.
2007-12-07 10:06:35 · answer #5 · answered by DragonLady2000 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think that if you want her to be there, then invite her over to hang out with you girls while you get ready. don't ask her to be a personal attendant...it's not an honor really. she should understand that it is weird to have her in your wedding party and probably won't think about it at all.
2007-12-07 10:07:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yeah,, these get sticky. i dated my best friends baby momma, a couple of years after she wouldn't marry him and kicked him out. but i told him about it, first.
anyway, go to her, say "I want to honor u but I love u so much I and am afraid of insulting/hurting u, so I am going to ask and leave it totally up to u. If u have any reservations at all, please just tell me and it's all cool."
2007-12-07 10:07:22 · answer #7 · answered by paigespirate 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your BFF's relationship with your future hubby is the past. It is so okay to ask her to be your bridesmaid. If you, your hubby, or your BFF don't feel comfortable about it, then don't do it. I don't see the problem, though.
2007-12-07 10:14:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
dont get her as an attendant or maid of honor , invite her only, invite her personally ,coz if im your best friend still i can feel some pain sometimes ,take care , n congrats
2007-12-07 10:50:43 · answer #9 · answered by MIla M 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If YOU want her to be in your party, then ask her!
If you DON'T want her to be in your party, then don't!
Frankly it sounds like you both are close, so ask her.
2007-12-07 13:07:44 · answer #10 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋