Got another guy to adopt my son but still wants me to pay child support!?

Question

All,

I am having some serious doubts about the recent actions of an ex-girlfriend. We have a son together. Because of her actions right before she had the baby which gave me doubts to her fidelity I did not put my name on his birth certificate but have supported him from the day he was born (he's almost 4). About 2 years ago she was pestering me to let her boyfriend adopt my son. I said no and that was the end of it. The other day she mentioned a "hypothetical situation" about a woman who has had another guy adopt a hypothetical child and she is getting child support from the adopted dad AND the assumed dad and was wondering if sending the adopted dad to court for more support. I confronted her if it is true and she denied it. My common sense of course is bothering me. Was wondering if I could check Georgia adoption records. Thier website says that I can't because I am not the father of record, the sibling or the grandparent. What would you guys suggest?

We have an agreement. It never went to the state for support. My son calls me dad and sees me as his father and calls the other guy by his first name. How messed up is this though. No matter what the law says that is my son, just ask him but I think she was trying to hedge her bets. I am kinda reluctant to take a DNA test because there is a chance he might not be mine (in my mind though she would never admit it without being caught) but if I do take the test and he is found to be mine my child support could probably triple and I might start falling behind (I have other kids from my former marriage that I support but not on a court order), he is still legally another mans child and how do we get that paperwork changed? How will that affect the honesty and good-faith relationship with me and his mother which will ultimately affect my son. She has not come clean. She is denying everything but my gut feeling tells me there is something wrong.

Answer 1

iF YOUR NOT ON THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE THEN YOU NEVER CONSENTED YOU WERE THE BIRTH FATHER. Therefor without a paternity test she cannot go after you for anything. And her boyfriend could legally adopt the child because the child has no father named on it's birth certificate. If the boyfriend did adopt(which couldn't happen) you are not required to pay ANY child support because someone else is named father. If you do get a paternity test and you are the father she can go after you for back child support(depending on your state) from the looks of it your in the clear. Good luck, what a crazy B$%ch!!lol

Answer 2

Since you are not on the birth certificate there is a slight chance that the adoption could have actually happened. But in order for an adoption to be finalized many attempts need to be made to contact the birth father. So I doubt it happened.

You might want to talk with a lawyer in your area to find out the specifics on the adoption laws in your state.

Are you paying child support via court order or just an agreement between the two of you? If you have been to court on custody and support issues then I really really doubt anything has happened.

If you don't have any documenation that this is your son, get some. Talk to a lawyer about drawing up an official document outlining the child support and visitation agreement. That way you won't have to worry about it in the future.

Good luck! I hope everything works out smoothly!

Answer 3

Since you did not put your name on the birth certificate it would be easy for her to say she does not know who the father is. Unless you have a child support going through the system. If you don't and you are just giving her money then yes alls she has to do is claim that she does not know who the father is they will give her simple instructions to try to find him like run an add in the classifieds to show that it was attempted for so many weeks and then the kids is fatherless and someone else can adopt him. So if you are just giving her money STOP! Make her go through child support to get it from you cause if she had the kid adopted out to another man she can't get it. But there are some cases where the monther can in fact get child support from the biological dad even if another man adopts him cause they say it is for the child and the child deserves to have both parents support no matter what situation. I would check your state law. Conult with a lawyer.

Answer 4

In Canada, all it takes to be liable for child support is to "establish yourself in the role of parent". If you act like a parent, pay the bills, etc. the Canada Supreme court said you cannot arbitrarily withdraw from the role just because you broke up with the mother. Parenthood is not a decision you can revoke, biological or not. They look at details like, did the kid call you dad, did you pay the bills, do you sign school permission slips (like a parent) - basically, are you a parent?

I think that's overboard, and yes indeed, you can have 2 dads paying child support. Oh, and in Canada it's automatic if it gets to court. There's a fee schedule, how much do you make and how many kids do you have to support?

From BC Family Law Resource:
The Family Relations Act plainly states that step-parents can be responsible for paying child support just as biological parents are responsible for paying child support. This has meant that in some cases, multiple people who meet the act's definition of "parent," "step-parent," or otherwise stand "in the place of a parent," can be simultaneously responsible for paying child support for the same child. In fact, there are a few cases in which parents have engaged in serial long-term relationships, each of which are long enough to attract a child support obligation from the successive partners of those parents. The Child Support Guidelines, perhaps on the principle that the more support a child has the better, does not offer a discount where there are multiple payors.

A 2004 case of the British Columbia Supreme Court, H.J.H. v. N.H.H., offers some guidance for step-parents trying to stick-handle around this issue. In that case, the parties had been married for less than three years when they separated. Each had been previously married, and the problem centred around the mother's child from her previous relationship. The court found that the step-parent was not responsible for paying support, based on the following factors:

the marriage was short;
the step-parent's relationship with the child broke down shortly into the marriage;
the step-parent had no on-going relationship with the child, and any such relationship with the child was opposed by the parent;
the step-parent had a "modest" income, out of which the step-parent was already responsible for paying support for two children from the previous marriage;
the child's biological parent was paying support; and,
the parent had extended health and dental coverage for the child through the parent's employment.
Other cases have taken the biological parent's obligation into account when assessing child support against a step-parent, and required the step-parent only to make a sort of top-up payment rather than pay at the full amount set out in the Guidelines.

Answer 5

If I could do it all over again, I would have never put the father on my son's (james lee lol) birth certificate. It would have made things alot easier. My ex didnt show any interest in our son until my husband wanted to adopt him. I'm actually going to court today. He's trying to get joint custody and visitation, meanwhile he is on probation for not paying child support. He started paying when that happened, but I haven't received anything in a few months. Sure I could take him to court and he'd probably go to jail, but I don't want his money. I just wanna be left alone!

Answer 6

First of all if family court has determined that you are the bio father of your son then there is no way your son can be adopted without your signature. Second of all if your son was legally adopted then it would relinquish you from having to pay child support. If you are having doubts then you should go down to family court yourself ask for a DNA test (if you haven't already) and let them make the decision in regards to child support.

Answer 7

If he adopted the son then you should find out. You would no longer be liable for child support. Might be an up hill battle now to get your father's rights (yes, I know its pretty much a right to pay). The court will hammer you for not putting your name on the birth certificate. go to dadsdivorce.com and ask a lawyer.

Answer 8

If you let someone adopt this child you won't have to pay child support.

I live in MIssouri & my dad remarried a lady who had a kid already. The dad of this kid didn't want him so my dad adopted him. The bio. father of this kid didn't have to pay child support. My dad & this lady are now divorced. My dad has to pay child support on the kid, Josh, that he adopted. The bio. father doesn't.

So, it may be diffrent by state but, in Missouri thats how it is.

Goodluck & if your really having doubts, look it up & do more reasearch.

Answer 9

If she got another man to adopt the baby, you would have had to consent. But if she did, then you no longer have to pay for the child. A baby can legally have one father.

Answer 10

Get your father or mother (who would be grandparents) to check on it for you. And stop worrying. No matter who else is paying support, that child is yours, and you have a moral obligation to support him, no matter what your legal obligations are.