Interracial Dating Question....?

Question

I've been in 3 relationships with white men. ALL of these men dated black women only or had dated a black woman previously.

Now, I'm in a connudrum of sorts. There's a white guy that I like & want to be with...but he's never been w/ a black woman before. I've always made it a personal rule of mine to never date/flirt/play with these kinda men. Why? B/C I don't want to be the person that has to break them in.

It's hard enough to date when both partners are experienced...I don't really want this added pressure in the relationship, but he's told me that he wants to be with a black woman that he wants it to be me.

Oh and did I mention that he turns me on by merely glancing my way? He oozes sex appeal and I'm definitely attracted to him, but I'm not sure if can handle his inexperience.

Help.

"Do you live in podunk america where racial tension is still a problem?"

yes, I live in the DEEP South.

breaking him in...
means that I'll be the first black woman that he dates...

thanks brother otter...that's exactly what I meant.

Answer 1

I'm assuming that by "breaking him in" you mean getting him used to the social situations that come up around you because your skin is different colors.

It sounds like he's up for it. So explain things to him, let him know you're interested in him, and go for it. He may surprise you.

Answer 2

As an equal opportunity dater myself, truthfully I would go out with him to see if there is a good fit there and to see if you both have anything in common. If all he wants is to be with a black woman then you've got a problem here in the form of a person who is objectifying or fetishizing black women. If that is the case, then all you can expect here is a brief little fling, a flash in the pan. If there is more on both ends than meets the eye, then great. Bravo. Welcome him to the 21st century.

As for "breaking him in," it might help to keep in mind that all relationships bear lessons to learn, on both ends. He may be in your life to learn more, first hand, about racial issues and more. You may be in his life to learn from him as well, provided that he's got more going for him than his sex appeal.

Great that he "oozes sex appeal," but as with the racial issue it's up to you both to decide if that's all you want. Sex is great, attraction must be there, but it's not the whole thing. I'm sure you alreadly know that.

Why not go out with him? Get to know him? What do you have to lose? "A date is just a moment in time." (Charlotte Kasl)

Hope this helps.

Answer 3

Inexperience? Are you implying that dating a white woman is somehow radically different from dating a black one? I'm sorry, but you're wrong, I've dated both and the fundamentals are the same. You know what really makes the most difference? Wealth. The poor girls are much more open and expressive of their emotions, I'd say more real, while the rich girls are generally completely spoiled and f'd up in the head with unrealistic expectations of men and relationships, and it doesn't really matter what color they are, rich black girls are the same way.

Answer 4

Well, the fact that he oozes sex appeal for you and says that he wants to be with you should be enough, shouldn't it? I have dated two black men and broke up with them for different reasons. One I know for sure had lived with a white girlfriend, the other was not very willing to talk about his personal life. I never felt the need to break them in, I just took them for what they were, people that had a different skin color than I did. If you're so attracted to him, go for it.

Answer 5

Hi Special S!
If you talk with your friend and explain to him of what he may encounter with dating a black woman, that will help him prepare for those tense moments. For me, people are people, and skin color shouldn't characterize who that person is, or define a relationship. I'm sorry that there are still ignorant people out there who cast hateful glances, or snicker at interracial relationships. It shouldn't happen. And it should have never happened in the first place.
May be in this case you can overlook your personal rule to never date/flirt/play with a man who's never had the experience of interracial relationships. I'm hoping that he wants to be with you personally, and not just for the experience in dating a black woman. Does that make sense? I would ask him to clarify his intentions in dating you and go from there.
I hope it works out for you. :-) Best wishes and Blessings!

Answer 6

Please go out with him already! If he turns you on this much it will its impossible for him to use you for sex since its obvious that you want it to and if you don't date a guy that you have such good chemistry with you will always regret it and wonder if he was the one.

I think that one of the main reasons why black women's IR rate is lower than others is because so many of us have these rules before we are willing to date other races of men. Your rule is unfair just because he's never dated black before doesn't mean that he's stupid its obvious that it just means that he hasn't met anyone else that he's been as attracted to as he's with you. So be flattered and do what men and women were made to do (with protection of course)

Answer 7

Check things out and see what happens. If you are that into him just forget about the rule...forget about other people and go for it baby!

I know what you mean though.

Whenever you are dating anyone of a different culture/race there are obsticles to overcome, topics to educate on and such. This happens in any interracial relationship....black/white/asian/middle eastern.

Its all good. Just trust yourself.

I have been there and personally I loved learning more about his culture and asking questions. It was so fun experiencing a different culture and bonding with eachother.

Answer 8

in case you fairly like a individual, coloration or nationality shouldn't get interior the way. however the returned, interracial relationship would be a topic with the aid of family. some family would criticize on your decision of relationship. My view: My view would not rely, interracial relationship could be considered by the human beings interior the relationship, no longer the onseers.

Answer 9

What does race have to do with this at all?

girl likes boy, boy likes girl....

Do you live in podunk america where racial tension is still a problem?

What experience???? If he has been with a woman, then he has experience - again, race isnt a factor here.

Answer 10

Race shouldn't be the issue here unless either of you makes it an issue. By your information, you have already talked to him about having a relationship, so continue by asking if he is ready to face any prejudice that may come his way. I can understand your concern at being the "tester" for him, but with your intelligence, I think you can see whether he is interested for you or for your skin. You shouldn't miss the chance to be with someone wonderful because of this.