how can i get my mother in law to stop influencing my children with her superstition?

Question

my mother in law is VERY superstitious and personally i don't believe in any of her rituals and ridiculous acts. me and my husband have 3 small children and everytime she visits, she teaches them rituals and gives them wishbones and feathers and other things to hang over their doors and i have told her numerous times that i would rather she didn't do this but she she still sneaks and does it when they spend the night at her house. what should i do ?

Answer 1

First, get your husband involved, this should be a united front.

Tell her if she cannot listen and respect your methods of raising your children, then they wont be allowed to spend the night with her.

Its very simple, either she gets a long, or gets gone.

Answer 2

Why don`t you tell her frankly what is your opinion , or what do you think about her influencing your children about witchcraft , sorry if I should say . You can say it in a very nice way , I mean she is old and she can`t change her ways easily , so you have to do a lot of strategy or analizing for her not to do it again. If you are not successful, then you have to ask help from your husband. . If this failed you have no choice but to give her an ultimatum , that if she doesn`t stop , you have no choice but , you would not permit the children to sleep with her anymore.
Maybe there is also the possibility , that shes doing this just for fun, and playing a cute game with your kids, i mean , she told told them stories the previous night about cinderella or some other fairytails story , and their grandma told them to continue doing it at home with toys , that they pretend to hang to their doors.
You are the mother so you are the best judge if these things play irrelevant change or bad effect to your children , then it is up to you which , are you planning to do , for the good of everyone, including the relationship between you and your , mother in law. I hope you would think about what would these thing affect her if you would decide , the latter.

Answer 3

I'd try to "immunize" my kids by saying (in a good-natured tone), "Oh, Grandma has all kinds of make-believe things she believes, but they're make-believe. Lots of people think some make-believe things are real, and we love Grandma, but the things she says about things like feathers and wishbones are not correct. A little make-believe can be kind of fun, though, so as you long as you know its make-believe that's all I wanted you to understand."

After that I probably would let them keep any feathers, for example, but I'd tell them, "You can have the feather if you want, but we aren't hanging feathers on our doors. Make-believe is one thing, but we aren't hanging things on the doors." Trinkets are one thing. Rituals are another.

If that kind of thing solved the problem for the most part, great. If the problem is too big and too weird for that type of thing to work, then I'd stop them from spending nights at her house with my being there. She has no right to tell them stuff you don't want them being told, and sneaking is just lack of respect for you, as their parent.

If she teaches them rituals when she's at your house, I'd just go right in and say, "Ok, kids, its time to go play somewhere else." If they asked "why" I'd say something like, "Its not good to spend too much time listening about spooky make-believe."

Answer 4

You and your husband need to sit down and talk to your mother in law. Let her know that it's fine with you for her to be superstitous however this topic has been up for discussion and you both have made it clear you do not want your children involved or her teaching them her believes. If she can not respect your wishes and continues to do this behind your back you will have no choice but distance her from the grandchildren. It's up to her which way she wants to go on this either she can respect your parenting or not see her grandchildren. Let her make the choice. .

Answer 5

Don't allow the children to spend the night at her house until she respects your wishes & stops filling your children's heads with "crap." Children are very impressionable when they're young & her teachings could really damage them. Be firmer each time you have to tell her to stop filling the children's heads with that stuff. She seems to have some loose screws in her head since she continues with her nonsense. Be firm on not allowing the children to spend the night with her for a while. Tell her that you have asked her repeatedly not to teach the children that crap but she wouldn't listen. Your husband needs to step up to the plate, be a man, & tell her to stop. You owe it to your children to protect them from the brainwashing & that's what it is.

Answer 6

These are your children and you have two options.

Sit her down and tell her that either she stops her rituals (don't call them ridiculous because she doesn't think they are)or you will not allow her to visit anymore and you will not allow them to visit her..

Or - You can sit your children down and tell them that their Grandmother has some weird ideas, but they are harmless and for them to go along with her, but they must realize that she has emotional problems, and they shouldn't take any notice of the things she does.

Answer 7

You should talk with your children, and explain that you do not like Grandma's rituals, etc., and that if she wants to give them things, they need to get you. Then, tell your mother-in-law that you do not want her teaching your children this stuff, and if she continues to disregard your wishes, you will not allow her to be alone with the children again. Let her know, of course, that you respect her beliefs, but that you do not agree with them.

Answer 8

What does your husband say to this?? Have you had a discussion with him about this?? You are not going to change her beliefs just like she isn't going to change yours. I suggest talking to your kids that this is what grandma believes in and that they don't have to believe in it if they don't want to. I see this as a small thing to put up with. The more you harangue and argue the more she will push this issue. The best thing to do is not to get worked up over this. I mean unless these superstitious beliefs involve blood-letting and other gruesome acts, they are not going to destroy your family.

I feel that if you leave it alone, your children, as they grow older, they are going to make their own decision about it, and most likely are going to treat it as harmless beliefs.

Answer 9

sounds like you are making a mountain out of a mole hill here. trust me, the kids will make up their own minds about her, regardless of anything you might say or feel. her superstitions and charms are harmless enough, and as the kids mature, they will realize that they are useless as well.
Childhood tho is a magical time, and having a gramma that is somewhat "magical" too is a neat thing.
Stop trying to be so controlling. You eventually lose all control over your kids anyway, now is a good time to understand when to fight and when to let something alone. This is not a huge issue, unless you make it one, and then you give gramma's superstitions more power than they deserve. I'd tend to laugh at the charms, and make it apparent that I don't believe as gramma does, but it would all stop there.

Answer 10

My Auntie Had the comparable situation She Had Her Husband Ask the mummy to stop Doing It and he or she Didnt So She Took It And reported all the photographs , with the aid of fact it grow to be no longer Her toddler and he or she Didnt Ask To positioned up The p.c. , yet attempt Telliing kinfolk to tell Her to stop And which you do no longer Apperciate all of it