How long did it take you to get over the death of your mum?

Question

My mum's been gone for just 5 days . Her funeral's on Monday and at the moment she's in the living room at home because she was in hospital for the last month and wanted to come home every day. It's nice to "talk" to her at home even though I know she's not really there. I'm going to be lost without her.

Answer 1

I dread the day.

Answer 2

Everyone is different, it took me months before I could cry (other than at the funeral). Some grieve for a few months some for years. The main thing to remember is that grieving the loss of your Mum and missing her are two very different things. My Mum died in January 1999, I think I grieved over my loss (and couldn't say out loud my Mum is dead or my Mum has died) for about two years. Though my grieving, as such has stopped, I'll always remember her, sometimes with sadness at losing her and unsaid things, but more often with happiness. Both of my parents have died, Mum in 1999 and Dad in 2000, and I often find myself thinking things like 'Dad would've loved that' or 'if Mum were here now she'd be crying with laughter'. These thoughts are really comforting and can help with the grieving process. Let it take it's course in your own time and don't listen to anyone who says "you should be over it by now", there is no right amount of time for grieving.
I feel for you at this diffficult time and will think of you on Monday. Big hugs x

Answer 3

You will always miss her, My mum has been gone for 6 years & I still have a tear sometimes or a laugh. I think alot about the funny things she used to say and do, or I acknowledge things she would find funny. This makes me smile & I think that she is out there smiling at me.
I have 4 children & Iknow she lives on through my children, My mum was not a person to be forgotten, and we will never forget her.
To all those that still have thir mum, treasure every moment cause you will only ever have one mum and they are very very special.

Answer 4

I havn't had to face this yet. I am luck at my age to still have both parents - they are in their 80's. It is a something I dont like to think about as I cant ever see them not being here. On the other hand, my husband, lost both his parents within 3 months, his mother will be a year passed in January. I dont think anyone really gets over it, time passes and it doesnt hurt so much, thats what I think, but I'm not talkin through experience, just what I see in my husband.
How long have you been without your mother, It must be very hard. I dread the day I have to deal with it.

Answer 5

My Mum died 33 years ago, and I still miss her dreadfully. The initial sharpness of the loss passes, but you are always left with that ache and the unfillable void. Everyone's grieving process is different. You will go through stages, feel guilty (without rational cause), and be angry with her for leaving you. You can't blot it out with drink or drugs. You have, at some stage, to work through it. Accept any support offered by friends and family. Good luck on the difficult path ahead.

Answer 6

I know you said mum, but my gran died 2 years and and she was like a mum 2 me! Im still not 100% but it does get better with time, even now when I see something that reminds me of her i might cry but thats because she had such an impact on my life. Im sure your mum wants you to be happy and lead a great life so try to remember how great it was to hav a mum like her and remember some people do not experience that kind of love. Take care x

Answer 7

Easy answer: never. It's been 4 years, and not a day goes by I don't think about it. It is in me and a part of me. I guess you just deal with it in your own way, but you never just "get over" it. And if someone does, then kudos to them. But if you're a young person and you lose your mom, it can be almost worse. I was in my late 20s. Talking lots to friends and family helps. Join supportive groups in person or online to talk about the issues you will face. Just when you think you are coping, WHAM! something else hits you about losing your mom that you were not expecting.

Answer 8

Hi,my mam died on the 10-10-2006.I have not got over it have come to terms with the pain.In October 99 my dad died I do not think I grieved for dad then when mam died it was like
the end of the family.Its impossible to write what I felt has it all
seemed like a dream.I existed have not got over losing my mam & dad but I am glad that there at peace.I think you learn to live with the loss & pain & everyone re-acts differently.

Answer 9

tomorrow will mark the third month of my mothers death...tomorrow is also mother's day in my country...monday is her birthday...and of course in a couple of weeks it will be christmas...

i have no idea as to when it will get easier, if ever...think of my mother everyday...and every thought feels like your insides are being ripped out...

i don't even know how my siblings and i will get through the next few weeks...it's like you try to get over one significant day based on it's meaning, and you are hit with another...i had a complete breakdown the first week in november...have been out of work and in bed since...i'm scheduled to return to work on monday, but i just want to turn the lights off and sleep....

sorry i can't give you a realistic answer to your question...or an answer that is positive in any way...

Answer 10

lm so sorry for your loss l lost my mum as well but you will in time get over it just rember the good times you had together talk to her in your prays l talk to mine every day and she as been gone since 1981 you wont forget er she is in your heart always now and 4 eva she is watching you grow up in a fine young lady she would be proud of you no matter what god bless u and your family

Answer 11

You never really get over it... you just learn to deal with it and get on with life...

My brother died when I was 16, and two years later my mother... it felt as if my life was falling apart... Everything that was near and dear to me was being taken away... but you get to accept fate... and that everything in life always happens for a reason... Its been 12 years now, and i can tell you there is not one day that I dont think of them both... but they are always close to me, because they live on in my heart!

Be strong... spend time with your friends... start a hobby...

All the best for you... Keep the faith, you will get through this difficult time...