And that their assumptions about what is there are incorrect? When someone is trying to tell you what you are doing wrong in your life that you should change? And that is based on the person all of a sudden having read some kind of psychology book. Not that I don't agree in principal, but when the person is telling you what you are doing wrong without taking any responsiblility themselves? It is hard to tell someone "you have a plank in your eye" if they don't know what that means. It is not my place to say that anyway. My inclination is to say nothing, nod and stay quiet. But I would also like to be able to defend my position without creating an arguement. Do I just say that I understand where he is coming from? I sure hopes this makes sense.
Thank you for any advice and support you can give.
2007-12-07 07:58:03 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
From what you wrote, here is what I think you said...... "My friend corrects me when I'm wrong (and I am in fact wrong on those things at times), but I don't like him doing that because he's got a bunch of stuff wrong with him too. And I'm the more mature believer, so he doesn't even understand the part yet about working on oneself before trying to correct others. What do I do?"
As the more mature believer, avoid being an obstacle to him. Thank him for pointing out the things you need to work on - and do work on them. That's what will lift him up to do the same. Make sure to show him by example that it's in the getting closer to Christ that all things are made possible - not in the strong will or personal strength within yourself. You will find one day that the best growth you ever achieve is done when you're actually trying to help someone else!
2007-12-07 08:08:16 · answer #1 · answered by teran_realtor 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell them exactly as you asked the question. You don't know what is in my heart! If you believe they have a plank in their eye and you've witnessed their sin, why wouldn't you acknowledge that you have seen their sin or plank in their eye.
Sometimes a good argument clears the air and people can go on from that point. Some people don't know they are not perfect until you tell them.
I am a Christian, but the only righteousness in me is Christ Jesus. None are perfect, no not one.
2007-12-07 08:09:24 · answer #2 · answered by Jeancommunicates 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hmmm...My first thought is that this person is deflecting...trying to push away the problem to someone else instead of trying to examine themselves. A counselors worst patient is himself.
Maybe try saying, let he has no sin cast the first stone.
Or possibly tell them that while you appreciate their analysis, God is working on other areas in your life at this time. Even though this person might not share your beliefs, saying that might be a good way to make your point.
Good luck. I hope this helped, I kinda feel at a loss on this one.
2007-12-07 08:10:06 · answer #3 · answered by Joyful 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oooh, I've gone through that a lot with my mom, and I just have to tell her "I'm sorry that's how you see it, but those weren't my motives." It doesn't really make anybody see it your way, but at least you've spoken, laid out how you really stand on whatever is going on, and that's really the best you can do. As soon as you start pointing out the faults of the pther person involved, they usually just throw a wall up and block out whatever you say, so I think it's just best to let them know you want to resolve the conflict and what is motivating what you've done or said.
2007-12-07 08:05:03 · answer #4 · answered by Lamborama 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
the best thing to do is not to retaliate. or try to point out that they are not perfect either.
that just causes offense and arguments.
.
instead of actually replying. as soon as you can fit in a word edgewise.. say something like...
"can you get to the part where you are finished?
because i would really like to enjoy being around you, but you're not making it very easy when you go on and on with your criticisms of me.
"lets do something that we can both enjoy, okay?.. because if not.. i've got some laundry to do... some windows to clean.. my legs need the razor.. the cat litter box needs changing....."
.
2007-12-07 09:13:29 · answer #5 · answered by opalist 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your inclination is correct and supported both biblically and in other spiritual traditions that advocate non judging.
But I haven't met a christian yet who believes it enough to actually practice it. Just look at some of these answers for evidence of that.
2007-12-07 08:12:47 · answer #6 · answered by steve what 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would simply tell the person that he doesn't know me, doesn't know what I think or feel, and that he is wrong to make assumptions about me.
I would also tell the person that he should "walk a mile in my shoes" before he decides what I think or fee.
2007-12-07 08:06:33 · answer #7 · answered by nymormon 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i don't know who you want to correct and it's non of my business. i am speaking for myself because i may have step on someones toes without knowing.there's a right way and a wrong way to approach someone,especially if you want them to listen. if you are trying to tell a person about what they are doing wrong, make sure your plate is clean first .how can i tell you to stop lying and I'm sleeping around,a sin is a sin ,judge not and ye shall not be judged.
2007-12-07 08:21:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just politely but forcefully tell them they are entitled to their opinion, and thanks for sharing.
Everyone has 'issues' whether they want to admit them or not.
If you feel compelled to defend yourself but are in a situation that you feel might get out of control, ask that person if you could table that discussion to a more appropriate time.
2007-12-07 08:07:16 · answer #9 · answered by asgodintended 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If this person is all excited about doing armchair psychology, then whenever they tell you what your motives are, tell them to quit projecting.
2007-12-07 08:02:31 · answer #10 · answered by Pull My Finger 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋