I am 41 and do not have children out of choice - never felt the draw - I love children but they do change your life forever and also, your lifestyle. Quite simply, I didn't want the lifestyle. I have had some friends who from the minute they have children you just don't ever see them again. Everyone is different and I loath particuarly women who critisice women who do not want children - women are often the cruelist judges of each other. I love my life - me, my man and my dog - I have a busy, rewarding and happy life and would not change it for anything. Many of my friends are in the same position.
In response to snetterton comment - a cautionary tale - the most selfish of people are those who have children to "look after me when I get old" - how self centered can that be. I lived next door to an old lady with four children who all lived locally. I did her shopping, offered a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on for years - not one of her children every showed her face until the funeral where they all bleated on about how much they shall miss her. Your friends are the ones that will be there for you.
2007-12-07 07:49:31
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answer #1
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answered by Anonymous
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I don't think there's a THING wrong with you not wanting children. Some people are just not "parents."
Now, I just had my Son 6 weeks ago, and I can tell you with relative certainty that I was not wanting children, and didn't think I'd want any anytime soon. I was terrified about how I'd handle things when I found out I was pregnant. But, I surprisingly fell into Motherhood with pretty good ease, and I adore my Son, and LOVE being a Mom.
That being said, some people, I strongly believe, were not meant to be parents. They are wonderful people, and are kind, nurturing, and giving, but just like things the way they are, and don't need to have children to feel complete, whole, or gratified. I don't think people like that should be made to feel inadequate with life b/c they don't have kids. We have enough people in this world, and children deserve EVERY luxury and priviledge, at the same time being vigorously taught that life is precious, and that, as a parent, takes so much more than I ever thought it would to stick with, and for that matter, master.
I've actually witnessed a "Mother in progress" of raising her young daughter, resent almost every moment of Motherhood b/c she didn't want to be a Mother. Now, I stress that this more often than not does not happen. But, if you have very serious doubts about your abilities, I say, why take the chance? The child doesn't deserve that.
Don't ever be made to feel inadequate for not having children. Enjoy your life. Be kind to others, and give what you take/take what you give. Enjoy children of the world, without having any if you don't want 'em, b/c hon, I'm here to tell ya, it's no longer about you anymore, once you have a child. That jig is up! :-) LOL.... enjoy your life!!!!
Cheers!
2007-12-07 07:50:35
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answer #2
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answered by Impavidsoul 5
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From an evolutionary point of view where the forwarding of ones genes is paramount, then your decision is probably unnatural. By choosing not to have children, an unbroken lineage of genes which goes back to the inception of creation is effectively broken.
Back in the here and now though!
Sure as an individual choosing not to have children is entirely your perogative. Children are extremley hard work - I am lone parent of a beautiful 3 year old and although I would never be without her I do understand that parenting is so challenging on every level, emotional, physical, psychological, financial etc etc that it is not suited to everyone.
Therefore personally I think you should be commended for standing up against a baying majority - do not have a child just to please others, but do think about how you will feel in old age with no children or grandchildren to enjoy.
Good luck to you whatever you decide and just have faith in your ability to know what is best for you in your life.
2007-12-09 08:32:56
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answer #3
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answered by Anonymous
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If you are fine with that decision then I certaintly am. Some parents out there should have never had them. I'm sure if you had one you would be an excellant mom but if you don't feel like you want one then that is fine. It is definately a different world with kids. I myself have only 1 child and I am always asked Don't you want to have another one. People think that just because they have more than one then other people should too. It personally is a sore spot when someone asks that b/c they have no idea if you can even have another one. They just assume I don't want another one. They don't think that maybe this person has been trying and can't. Well either way I think it is your decision and you shouldn't worry about other people thinking your missing out on a wonderful life experience b/c there is so much other stuff you can experience without having to worry about a child.
2007-12-07 08:21:55
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answer #4
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answered by Bilinda G 6
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Children are not for everyone. If you don't want children, don't have them because everyone thinks you should. It's your life, do what's right for you. Children are a huge responsiblity and if you don't feel like taking that on, then don't. Too many people have children because they think they should and don't do what it takes to raise them in a loving and supportive environment. I am 33 with a six month old. I was off and on whether I wanted kids all through my twenties, but by 30, I knew I for sure wanted at least one. It has been the most fulfilling thing I have ever done. I wouldn't trade it for the world. But you should know yourself pretty well by this age, if you don't, that is your decision and people should respect it.
2007-12-07 07:58:02
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answer #5
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answered by andmic510 5
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2 words! Please dont!
If you dont desire them...its better you simply dont have them! This is why the world is full of so much crap if you ask me. Babies abused and unwanted, and parents neglectful and uncaring and unloving. Stick to your guns and screw everyone else who is trying to run your life. You know what you can live with and cant. Dont brings kids into this world out of PRESSURE!
ALso i must add. You must face the possibility that you could be 40 yrs old, 45, whatever...and all the sudden go in a crisis were you all the sudden wish you had a child...or something. I read an article on this a few months ago and it was a sad realization this lady came to but too late. So just think it through...but in my opinion...wait as long as you want...if at 45 you decide you want a child...ADOPT. You would be doing alot more good that way than having something at 35 of your own and being "unsure" about it in the back....
2007-12-08 17:15:17
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answer #6
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answered by peaceful 1
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I think that having children is a personal preference, i wanted them whilst i was young had my 1st at 21, but now they are all growing up and my 2 yr old is now starting preschool in spring i can plan my career.
Don't listen to people that say your crazy and you are missing out, you can get the pleasure from watching you nieces and nephews grow up (if you have any siblings) I have an aunt and uncle that never wanted children, they just enjoyed me and my 2 sisters.
Children..... Your choice... No One else's
2007-12-08 12:01:32
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answer #7
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answered by Anonymous
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Its not wrong to want no children. No one should ever say this because its your choice and for someone to say that its wrong is wrong. I would say make sure its 100% what you want before you are too old to have any but if your happy without children there is nothing wrong with that at all and anyone who tells you any different needs a slap.
I want children but thats my feelings and my life. My cousin doesnt, we are all different and want different thing in life. If its what you want and you are happy stick with it.
And stop worrying so much about what other people think. Its your life, not theirs.
2007-12-07 09:13:21
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answer #8
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answered by Gina F 2
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Well I dont feel the way you do about it, I am a 23 year old mother of 3 beautiful boys and expecting a little girl on April 1st, however I can see not wanting kids and no its not bad. Having children is a choice, and shouldnt be forced on society. Kids are a joy but not having kids can also be a joy!
2007-12-07 07:48:58
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answer #9
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answered by Anonymous
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No, it's each to their own. I know a couple who don't have any children and they have a wonderful life, jetting off to all sorts of fantastic places. On the other hand, because I had to have fertility treatment and never thought I'd have a baby of my own, my daughter is the most wonderful and precious thing ever to happen to me, but I was lucky, I always knew I wanted children. It's your life; only you know how you feel, but having children isn't for everyone.
2007-12-07 07:45:58
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answer #10
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answered by spanner the stig 5
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