My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years. I'm 19 and he is 22. We have talked about marriage, and we plan on being together for a while, but for right now, we're just enjoying being young and getting our lives together.
I may or may not have children in the future, I think it's too early to decide, I would like to eventually, but I can't even fathom it right now
My boyfriend's mom has been buying various things for "our daughter" even though we aren't even living together or even engaged. She says she's had dreams about us having a daughter, and then when she is born she can have all of the things she is buying her.
What if we do have kids and then it's a boy??
My boyfriend told me she already bought us a wedding gift!!!
What can I do?
2007-12-07 07:32:47 · 45 answers · asked by marm212 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
not much. just let her have her dreams.
don't worry too much about it. accept that that is her plan. reality may turn out different.
you can just smile and laugh and tell her she should buy you a house or a bigger car for the kid and stuff. get in on the fantasy.
tell her what the kid really needs is a college fund. tell her the kid has spina bifida and needs an operation. tell her the kid loves the color green. see what happens when you jump in her fantasy with her. most likely she will back off some.
2007-12-07 07:36:37 · answer #1 · answered by Sufi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Kudos to you for not living together. I wish all people had the sense you have. Anyway, as far as not knowing whether or not you want kids, you should both agree on whether or not to have kids before you get engaged.
Now for your question, you probably can't do anything. Your boyfriend needs to be a man and tell his mom to quit rushing things. Pay CLOSE attention as to whether he stands up to his mom when needed. If he does, great. If not, he's a mama's boy. I'm glad you are waiting to get married. While dating 3 years isn't rushing, getting married at your age is, and that means your chances of divorce would be about 99%. So kudos to both of you for waiting until you are a little older.
2007-12-07 07:40:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and his mother is the same way. We are planning on getting married but not for a while because I am 22 and want to finish school. His mom is always bugging me about having a baby! The best advice I can give to you is just ignore it, thats what I have done for the past 5 years. Good luck!
2007-12-07 07:37:52 · answer #3 · answered by megs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW...a little much huh? I would just tell your boyfriend that he needs to talk to your mom. Tell him that she makes you feel uncomfortable about the whole situation. Your only 19! You still have not turned 21. You need to live your life and be young while you still can. I would NEVER take back my son, but I wish I would have had the chance to be young and free. Don't let her bother you. She obviously has serious issues if she wants you two to settle down so young and make babies! She won't be the one up in the middle of the night taking care of your child! Get your life together and get comfortable with eachother before you decide anything. He needs to tell his mom to stop its rude! Good luck.
2007-12-07 07:38:35 · answer #4 · answered by Sadbrowneyes13 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest that you let his mother have her delusions. In history girls would have what is called a hope chest that these kinds of items were kept in. Just let her have "her" hope chest.
Yes you are both very young and should take this time to enjoy you lives.
If and when you do decide to get married and have children it sounds like you will have a nice bundle of presents. If you have a son his mom can go shopping again.
2007-12-07 07:38:08 · answer #5 · answered by She's Back 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Respect that she is a whack job, but one that thinks you would be the best daughter-in-law. Many of the questions are about how MILs and DILs don't get along. If you are really uncomfortable with the "subtle" hints it should be your boyfriend who confronts his mother.
2016-05-22 01:12:24 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really can't do much other than to talk to her and tell her that you and your boy friend are enjoying dating but no future plans have been made.
Just laugh it off and possibly make a joke about how she will have gifts for other peoples baby girls for years to come.
If it really starts to bother you, it is up to her son to have a serious talk with her. He needs to tell her you are not even thinking about babies at this stage of your life.
2007-12-07 07:40:01 · answer #7 · answered by maxmom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Both of you sit down and set the issue straight with his mother.
Be nice..but make sure she understands she needs to stop buying things for grandchildren not yet born.
If she ignores you guys and keeps buying stuff..just put them in a closet somewhere out of sight..and in the future you can use them if needed or give them away as gifts or to charity.
2007-12-07 07:37:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Woah...
I'd sit down with her and talk about how you think it's too early to be buying stuff for a granddaughter. Assure her you do love her son and want to be together for a long time, it's just too early to be thinking about that kind of stuff right now. Make sure she understands and her feelings aren't hurt.
Hope this helps!
2007-12-07 07:36:44 · answer #9 · answered by paper doll 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do nothing...the Mom sounds rather kooky but harmless. Don't let her gift buying put any pressure on the two of you though. Take your time and decide when y'all are ready, if a long-term relationship and/or children are in order.
2007-12-07 07:39:51 · answer #10 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋