I smacked my 2.5 years old's bum?

Question

My son wouldn't take a nap, I was washing the floor and his 4 year old brother was in the room next door. I went upstairs on a few occasions to tell him to sleep. Then he decided to start screeming and I thought for sure this would wake his brother so I smacked his bottom once but hard. I felt awful... I am a very loving mother however I noticed my dad's intimidating behaviour when I smacked his bottom. I don't want to be a parent who spanks. I believe it will teach him to be afraid and angry. What can I do next time to prevent this? Any advice??

I was very angry

Answer 1

First of all, stop beating yourself up about what you did. It's not the end of the world and I'm sure that you son will be fine. The thing is that even if he's two, he still understands quite a bit of what you say and what you mean. He needs to understand that when you say something you mean it. If you told him to sleep and he didn't that's one thing.. but when he started to yell, he was pushing your buttons and it worked. I'm not saying that you should never spank, but now that you've reacted this way once, before you do it again try and figure out what you might try to do differently the next time he pushes your buttons.

Does your four year old always sleep? Does your 2.5 year old sleep as much? Some kids don't need to have a nap every day. I have 8 nieces and nephews, all 3 and under, they all have different nap patterns. Here is the break down of their naps. Two are four months old and one is 8 months old so they don't count. The twins are 20 months old, the girl sleeps about every other day for about 1hr, the boy need a nap every day for about an hour. I have 2.5 nephew that sleeps about 2 hours a day. I have a 3 year old niece that hasn't napped in over 1.5 yrs. I also have a 3.5 year old nephew that sleeps at least 3 hours a day! My point here is that maybe, if your 2.5 year old son is not sleeping, maybe he doesn't need as much sleep.

Bottom line is this, you know that your a good mom, I'm sure that you'll make good choices. You're also a human, sometimes we lose our patience. You did not beat your son, you spanked him.

Answer 2

I give my daughter 3 times. If I have to go in there a 3rd time, she gets a spanking. Not hard, but she thinks it's pure evil. However, I haven't had to do that since my neice was living with us, and they'd play when it was nap time. She's 3.5 years old. Now her napping alone is never issue. Sometimes she won't sleep, BUT she does stay in her room for at least an hour, laying in bed. And I don't get mad at her. As long as she got some rest and quiet time. Because if she doesn't get that nap, she's cranky and moody at night.
Now with other things, she still gets warnings prior. If she keeps disobeying those warnings, she will get a smack on the butt. But that's rare because she actually is very well behaved.

Answer 3

Next time you feel this way try walking away to another room if you can, take a few minutes to figure out how to improve a situation with the child/children, its best to take a break if you can rather than do something you,d regret, look at some stage every parent wants to tear their hair out, looking after kids is not the easiest job in the world, so dont feel guilty cause you reacted by smacking the childs bottom, maybe if your in that situation again, take deep breaths, and walk out of the room.

Answer 4

It seems this current generation has a real phobia about disciplining their children, and they are doing the children no favors.

Spanking (as in spanking, and not beating) is to deter children from undesirable/dangerous behavior. Actions have consequences...."if I act in a certain way or do a certain thing, I'll get my butt warmed up, and that is not pleasant". For the typical child, an occasional spanking for bad behavior works wonders.

Unfortunately, children now are pampered and coddled, and grow up many, many times to be rude, disrespectful young people who think they are entitled to whatever they want.

Instead of being wracked with guilt that you gave your child a spanking for bad behavior, you should realize that at times it's necessary to administer discipline to a child while young so that they learn proper and acceptable behavior.

Do you think our great-grandparents agonized over giving their children a spanking?? Of course not, they knew in the long run it was beneficial for them.

Answer 5

I think you have the issue.

We were always spanked and we knew it was out of love. We didnt fear our parents, and it did help us to learn not to do things. When you're a kid you cant understand why you cant do things, until then the fear of a spanking helps inground that good behavior in you.

My 10 month old gets a quick smack on the rare occasion that he starts screaming or touches something dangerous, or does smoething he knows he cant. It doesnt hurt him a bit, and dont you know he remembers not to do things and even says no when he remembers the situation.

If you spank because you're angry you have a problem. If you spank and feel guilty you have a problem. If you dont spank and they are out of control they end up adults with bigger problems.

Pick something and stick with it. Either dont spank, or spank with love and consistency. Otherwise you're being unfair to the child.

Answer 6

I don't think not taking a nap is a reason for a spanking. Of course everyone has different views on this, but I think spankings should be reserved for times when a child has put themself in danger (like ran out into the street) or done something mean or bad on purpose (and also old enough to understand that they did wrong)... basically reserve spankings for times when you really want to send a message. In any case, if your 2 year old doesn't want to nap you could offer up a quiet activity to occupy him while you 4 year old is sleeping, or take the opportunity to spend some one-on-one time with him reading a book or playing a game.

Answer 7

I understand. I don't believe in spanking. I too believe it will make my children afraid of me and I certainly don't want that! Or worse, send the message that it's ok to hit if your angry. I too have hit my child's bum out of anger. I am not proud to say it, but it's the honest truth. I have not done it in quite a while, which I am proud of. If I feel myself getting angry, I just try to take a deep breath or two and think to myself, " what else can I do so he won't wake up his brother/sister?"(or whatever the situation may be. In your case, I sympathize b/c my children's rooms are door to door and it is very frustrating(2year old and 4 year old). If my oldest is asleep, I certainly don't want to younger one screaming so if I think this is going to happen, I put my youngest in a pack in play in our bedroom and it usually works out good(he likes sleeping better in there anyways!) I also try to remember that this will all go by so fast that I have to make the best of every day I get with my beautiful children because we don't know how much time we all have here. I certainly want to make the best of it. Don't be so hard on yourself! We all have those moments...Good luck to you.

Answer 8

I raised two sons and they both are now 23 and 25 and there is nothing wrong with a good ole fashioned spanking . some kids need it . it lets them know their boundaries . why do you feel bad about disciplining your child when he so obviously needed it ? I applaud you cause I dont think enough parents spank or discipline for that matter these days and things are far worse because of no discipline . good luck and God bless.

Answer 9

Do you want your child to grow up and not mind you or respect you or wind up in jail?

There is nothing wrong with a spanking as long as it is done in love. That's why God created the butt!

This is what's wrong with a lot of kids today and why they are constantly getting in to trouble and wind up in prison. the parent didn't want to spank their child or they don't believe in spanking. I've been around a lot of these kids.

Just because you spank one, doesn't mean you are a bad parent. This lets the child know you are in charge and not him and in the long run, your child will respect you for it and turn out OK.

Answer 10

First of dont feel so guilty about it. We are all human. Me and my husband dont spank alot but are guilty of doing it occasionally. Funny you mention it but last time I spanked my 4 yr old it was when I was mopping our floors durning there nap time. we are in a one story house with ALL tile floors except the bathroom. I spanked her because its a safety hazard for her to be walking on them when there wet. My 2 yr old did once and ended up with stiches in his lip when he slipped on it. Anyways short of beating him one sawt to the but is not going to make him afraid of you or turn him into an agry child. Your a good parent dont be so hard on your self.