not sure what to do with my 10 month old son ...?

Question

I'm at home all day and still not good at this whole "mother" concept - i'm trying, but still suffering major postpartum depression.

to answer: i'm fine, you all act like i'm a bad mother but i'm in poverty, no car, no money, stay at home mom. I am basically asking for different play options. I have been to treatment for my depression and can't afford any therapy anymore and I was just seeking options, not criticism.

Answer 1

get outside. push the kid in the stroller, even if you have to go to the mall. physical activity. home does not do it. go for a walk twice a day, one or two miles. stroller or snugli. also find other moms with kids the same age and hang out together. or just visit with each other while you clean house or stuff.

Answer 2

Are you getting help with the ppd? There are books at the library that have developmental games for different ages and stages. Also take some time for yourself, it isn't good to be home ALL day everyday. One thing that helped me (I used to get depressed a lot) was to go outside for a nice long walk. I know it is winter, but you can still go out bundled up if it is a dry day. Sometimes when my oldest just wouldn't fall asleep for nappy time I would put him in the stroller and just walk for an hour or so. A lot of times when we got back home I would just park the stroller inside and let him finish his nap. Being a mom can be fun! The first one is always the hardest because you've never done it before, give yourself time to enjoy it. Get rid of all your expectations of the "perfect" mom and just try your best.

Answer 3

I know how you feel. My daughter is just a little over one. I don't think (at least with the first child) you can figure out this whole ''mother concept" because as each stage ends, another one starts. :( I, too, suffer from depression, but not postpartum. I've had depression since I was 12. Just play with the baby a lot. Usually, I lay down on the floor and let her crawl all over me and its quite fun for the both of us.

Answer 4

I am a stay at home mom and I understand... sometimes it is tough finding things to do at home and keeping your baby entertained and happy. I have 10 month old twins and they love to hide behind or under things and have me find them. Take time to sit on the floor with your son and play with him and show him how to play with his toys. Roll the ball on the floor and have him chase it or play with trucks or give him some of your kitchen tupperware or pots and flip them over and let him play drums.

I just started reading books to my boys and that is fun. You don't need to read the books to him at this age, but you can point to the picture for example animal book... point at the animal and make the sound. Take a walk to the park and let him touch the grass and show him the flowers.

Go to a friends house and let your son have fun playing while you get to have an adult conversation. Find a babysitter and pamper yourself. Even if it is to take a nap or to go to the store by yourself it will make a world of difference to have a little space even if it is for an hour.

You may have really bad days. When you are worn out and have not gotten a break. Those are the days I like to rock my boys or just hold them close to my chest while they are sleeping and remind myself that they are everything to me and that I love them so much. Give your son some TLC and everything will be fine.

Answer 5

My 10 month old loves to put things in a container and take them out again. I can put a simple tupperware container with some random objects in it, and he will sit and empty the container over and over again. I have to put everything back in for him. He doesn't have that much dexterity. I also use the kitchen sink a lot. If I have cleaning to do in the kitchen, I first clean out one side of the sink and run a mini bath for him. This only works if you have a sink big enough, but it will last for about 1/2 an hour or so. The last thing I would recommend is to keep asking what other moms do. I actually have to call my close friend quite a bit, just to brainstorm. I actually have 4 other children, but I honestly forget what I used to do to keep my children occupied. Most of the time the phone call results in a "duh" moment. I forget simple things like, use the playpen, and give the baby the first half hour of your day, and they will be happier later. These things are definitly learned over time and with experience, don't feel like you should have known naturally how to do this "mothering thing". We are supposed to have been taught by our own relatives how to parent, but that is rare these days. My parents don't live close, and have no desire to help me raise my children. I have had to read a ton of books, call a ton of friends, and ask a ton of questions. The fact that you are willing to put yourself out there and ask for help, even for something as simple as how to occupy your 10 month old, is commendable. You are already doing the "mothering thing".
Hope this helps and is encouraging.

Answer 6

If you are still suffering from Postpartum Depression you need to talk to your doctor. They can give you tips to help you deal with it and decide if you need medication. You also could try getting out of the house for a couple hours a day. Take your son to the park or go for a long walk with him.

Answer 7

been there...being home all day is tough without a structure to your day and/or planned activities. Even daycares have routines because they WORK. You will feel more in control of your time, and will feel less like you're aimlessly wandering through the day, which is not likely to help your PPD. If you can get a mom to swap a few hours of babysitting with you, or even find a high schooler for a few hours in the afternoon, you might even get to get your nails done or catch a movie--whatever rejuvinates your soul. You'll be a better "mother" if you don't completely lose who you were before you were one.

Answer 8

Sam, you need to get out and make some friends, you can't just stay home all day long,

www.freecycle.org

and the library, usually has stuff going on like mommy and me classes

toddler groups and stuff like that,

you don't need, to sit home get out and have some fun, of course your gonna be lonely and bored and depressed,

Who wouldn't be, also make sure you talk to your doctor about getting some meds, like Zoloft,

it helps,

Your a good mother, but you need time for you too,

It gets better trust me, don't worry its all gonna be fine

M

Answer 9

Take him out, play with him, show him toys, let him play in the sink, read him books, show him new things, help him learn to clap or sing or dance, listen to music, do the dishes together... Good grief, I do everything with my 10 month old.

Get on some meds and get therapy so you can live easier outside yourself and more with his interests in your constant sight.

Answer 10

You need to talk to your Dr. There are medications he can prescribe. Make sure that you get up & take a shower everyday. Take care of yourself. There are also support groups out there (Yahoo Groups) & locally. If you can take him outside, do this. Take him to the park, library, etc. When you feel overstressed, put him in his crib & take some time to yourself. Please go see your Dr. because this is a real & serious condition.