Ok, last week I found out my boyfriend had been cheating on me. I confronted him about it at his place but he wouldn't admit it. We argued for a while until he finally admit he'd been cheating on me for 3 months.
I'm really not usually a violent person at all but that p***ed me off so much, I just punched him as hard as I could in the jaw. It knocked him out cold. I'm only 17. I'm athletic but not muscular (I'm a cheerleader) and he's 21 and pretty buff. I totally didn't expect it! I was just angry. He was knocked out for about 40 minutes. It was really funny, but when he came to he freaked out. He went to the cops and I've been charged with assault. Was I in the wrong?
2007-12-07 06:04:45 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hell Yes you were wrong and there's nothing funny about any of this! Even though he's a cheater, a jerk, a loser; you had no right to physically assault him! If he cheated on you and you were fuming mad, you should've left before resorting to violence. What in hell gives you the right to punch your boyfriend unconscious and then think you were justified in doing so?! Do you think there's any justification in a guy punching his girlfriend unconscious cuz she admitted cheating on him?! He was right to call the cops and have you arrested; were the tables turned and he had punched you out, you'd have him behind bars so fast his head would spin; are you really that big of a hypocrite?! Now look at what stupidity and violence brought you; a criminal record, lost love and probably facing some legal woes and jail time if he doesn't drop the charges against you.
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Sweetie
2007-12-07 06:11:34 · answer #1 · answered by ♥Šωèé†íé♥ 6 · 5⤊ 2⤋
Jennifer,
Let me introduce you to the concept of saving face.
Everyone has two very basic needs; one is physical lust and the other and most arguably the most influential is the need to be/feel accepted. The moments in which all is right with the your world your 'face' has been protected; or saved.
When you found out your boyfriend had been cheating on you, your need to feel accepted had been compromised and so you retaliated. In doing this you tore down your boyfriend's wall of comfort and in saving his face he felt it was only right to charge you with assault.
In both of these incidents you were both saving face. Hindsight is always 20/20 so we can't wallow in regret. Let's just take this situation and learn from it.
Conflict, no matter how you think of it, only begets more conflict. When you punch someone, they want to punch you back. When someone yells at you, it's almost an automatic gesture to yell back at them. Frustration only begets more frustration.
In saying that, you do have the right to be angry about what your boyfriend did, but 10 times out of 10 attacking him for it isn't going to solve the problem.
We can't always control the situations that take place in our life, but we can certainly control the way we react. Taking about it, asking the questions you don't always want to know the answers to, and almost any type of mediation often help curb or resolve the issue.
We never should look back and regret the amount of time and energy we exerted into a relationship. This guy cheated on you, he's no longer even worth the thought.
To answer your question... You were in this case wrong think anything good would ever come out of knocking him out. Even though it may have felt great at the time, there was never any doubt that he would retaliate. I'm glad he didn't become physically abusive.
If we were all perfect, we wouldn't be interesting.
-AJ
2007-12-07 06:57:25 · answer #2 · answered by AJ 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course you were wrong.
You assaulted him, and knocked him unconscious. The fact that he is a fool, a worm and a pis*-poor excuse for a human being is irrelevant.
How can a physical assault NOT involving self defense be right? If it was self defense, you could have KILLED him and it would have been okay. But it WASN'T.
Turn this around - if you heard of a man punching out a woman, wouldn't you think he was a brute, even if she had cheated on him?
The right thing to do would have been to walk out on his sorry as* and not listened to his excuses.
Better hope you don't get convicted.
Maybe if you apologize REAL pretty he'll drop the charges. Then you can go around and tell everyone what happened, and get back at him by embarrassing him.
2007-12-07 06:18:49 · answer #3 · answered by Dont Call Me Dude 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It was wrong in pretty much every way imaginable.
You broke the law, you just made the situation worse, you stooped to his level. Basically now its easy for him to make it look like it was all your fault.
It is understandable though, and most of us would probably have done the same thing, or similar, although that was a little extreme. He probably has a concussion if you actually knocked him out. I have a feeling he was just pretending in order to avoid the situation though. My girlfriend is pretty tough, but I have some serious doubt on whether she could knock me out or not. I've been hit harder than she could ever possibly hit and still been standing. Not to mention its pretty hard to knock someone out by hitting them in the jaw... you'd pretty much have to destroy their jaw, or bounce their head off a wall for that to happen.
2007-12-07 06:19:56 · answer #4 · answered by bo75007 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
What a stupid mama's boy.He went to the cops and now you're in serious problems?.He is a loser.If you are going in front of the judge, tell him or her, that was self-defense.He was ready to rape you and you're a minor!.Look for legal assistance, because a felony charge could ruin your future.A bad record is a nightmare.He can drop the whole matter.Tell him,I'm a minor,
2016-05-22 00:53:33 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you were "wrong" (justified yes, but............),
If he takes this matter to court I would make the offer in court to provide a written "apology" in your local newspaper to him for BEATING HIM UP!! Once the judge quits laughing at this loser, he may even cite this guy for having sexual relations with a minor (depending on your local laws).
Well Done, and good luck.
2007-12-07 07:46:50 · answer #6 · answered by redheadedstepchild 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course you were wrong!
If you knock somebody out, they could have brain damage.
And now, you are facing an assault charge! It is a felony.
Your feelings are very understandable. He sounds like a real jerk! But what you did is no answer.
2007-12-07 06:12:07 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I can totally understand why you punched him. Not only did he cheat on you, but he was doing it for months. Unfortunately, our legal system doesn't recognize that as a valid defense. If it did, then your boyfriend could punch you and say it was because you'd made HIM really really mad.
2007-12-07 06:13:55 · answer #8 · answered by starbaby8119 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hurt feelings are not a justification for assault, so yeah you're wrong.
Maybe your next Yahoo! question should be "I've been charged with assault, was it wise to post a Yahoo! question detailing my intent to commit assault?"
2007-12-07 06:16:02 · answer #9 · answered by paralegaltechnik 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well of course you were wrong... but good job. He deserved it and I would have done it too. He'll regret going to the cops when everyone finds out his 17 year old gf kicked the crap outta him
2007-12-07 06:09:53 · answer #10 · answered by <3 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋