I posted a previous question about really not looking forward to my fiance's christmas party, I have some serious issues with his boss (and if I went into detail you would understand why). I just need to know how best to handle the situation because I will have to deal with him for the weekend...
How do you deal with someone you strongly dislike when you have to be around them for 2 days?
Oh and don't worry, my fiance completely understands my position in this, he is trying to be as supportive as possible but he feels obligated to attend the 2 day event with his boss.
2007-12-07 04:59:56 · 9 answers · asked by JD 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
He wants me to go with him, so not going is not an option.
2007-12-07 05:00:35 · update #1
I like idea of meditation...I'm going to do some of that tonight and again in the morning before we go. I really want to be supportive of my fiance, he has asked for my presence. I just need to change my perspective on the situation and some of those of have answered have certainly helped with that. Thank you.
2007-12-07 05:31:57 · update #2
I found something!!!
www.coping.org
specifically about detachment...guess what I'm doing? ;)
2007-12-07 06:14:46 · update #3
If it is a question of him attempting to cause you physical harm, you should steer clear of him totally. If it's a matter of his desire for you, realize that his behavior arises due to causes and conditions and refrain from contact with him as much as you are humanly able, even, if you wish, not even making eye contact with him or entertaining his speech with much more than what you feel like.
Remember "dislike" arises due to causes and conditions too, and if you'd like, meditate (before the party), on your dislike and the best way for you to handle it with the best loving-kindness and compassion you can muster. Nobody's perfect so have compassion for yourself as well.
_()_
2007-12-07 05:05:23 · answer #1 · answered by vinslave 7 · 4⤊ 2⤋
Detachment. I hope you have some meditation skill, especially vipassanna. If not, get it, starting now. Then use it in little 5 minute interludes as needed during the weekend. You don't say what the issue is but if it doesn't personally concern you, then it doesn't concern you. If it does, your fiance is wrong to insist on your presence and you are about to be married to a fool. Better to walk 1000 days alone than take a single step with a fool. If there is a physical element to an issue that invloves you, such as possible sexual coercion or embarrassment, don't go no matter what, period, end of sentence.
2007-12-07 05:26:21 · answer #2 · answered by steve what 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just try to be non-confrontational, and you should be fine. If it is only for a weekend, then it is not to much to ask to just put on a deferential air, to force politeness, and to, if the situation is particularly intolerable, to grin and bear it. Hopefully, an aura of kindness and gentle behavior, rather than frustration and anger, will make it so that the boss will respect you for that enough to treat you fairly. Otherwise, it is just an exercise in endurance and damage control. It may be bothersome, but you'll feel like a better person for having not started any arguments or shown any bitterness for the short period of time.
2007-12-07 05:09:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
The Buddha said, "When you visit a dog, bring plenty of bones."
Your dislike is not about him, its about you. You are attached to the idea of what his boss should be like instead of accepting his boss for being exactly the way the Universe has caused him to be. Act instead as though you have no knowledge of what the boss is like and only experience him in the moments that you are actually with him as something new. Remember that all things are impermanent, and the party will not last forever. Let go of the attachment to your opinion and have fun with your boyfriend. They are your issues, let go of them.
2007-12-07 05:09:08 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
understanding that they have not carried out lots incorrect in this existence, you wish that they are going to do extra powerful interior the subsequent. you will possibly omit them extraordinarily, yet you besides might comprehend that they are someplace interior the international returned.. and in the event that they died without discomfort, and it improve right into a non violent loss of existence, you will possibly wish all of them properly of their next existence. buddhists might nevertheless cry while a expensive one as died. buddhists are everyday ppl like something people. they might in all probability do some thing to cheer themselves up.
2016-10-01 02:13:19 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not about him,
this is about you.
You need to get over this, and not give it it others, eg fiance.
How can you strongly dislike someone who is in your life to show you, you.
If you see this, be open and honest with yourself, it is always about seeing yourself. Each person is different with different people. One cannot say this person is.........
Whatever he has supposedly done, is to himself. Forgive, by forgetting. Forget by living in the now moment, bringing only the present energy to the now moment.
You will be better for it in your life.
If you cannot move through this, a similar situation will keep re-occuring until you "get it".
Bright blessing
Peace in the heart.
2007-12-07 05:18:26 · answer #6 · answered by Astro 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Why would you want to go to your fiance's work party anyways? Unless you work there, which you don't say whether you do or not.
And not going IS an option.
2007-12-07 05:26:57 · answer #7 · answered by Meatwad 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
There must be something small that you can like about him. Focus on that. If that doesn't work, then focus on your breath whenever you're around him.
2007-12-07 05:04:42 · answer #8 · answered by S K 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
detachment. youre hatred of him is what causes you suffering. if you dont hate him, you cannot suffer by his actions. it is your attachment to your feelings for this person which cause you suffering, not the person themselves.
2007-12-07 05:04:19 · answer #9 · answered by nacsez 6 · 4⤊ 1⤋