How do I control my 18 month old?

Question

My 18 month old son has an anger problem. He's also very very hyper active. He doesn't understand everything I'm saying and I really don't think beating him to death will get me anywhere except in jail so anybody non abusive know what to do? He hits, he throws his toys, scratches and bites other children and adults and throws himself out and screams for every little thing that doesn't go his way....

Yes he does understand english and he learns new words every day and can sing songs and even emulate singing abc's so it's not autism. He calls people by their name. Sorry for not including that detail. He's not autistic.

Answer 1

aha..my 16 month old son does that...

I suggest purchasing "what the expect in the the toddler years"

Great ways to help. They say the hitting a child only teaches them that hitting is OK. For example watch your son touch everything you touch..same thing with hitting him...He will hit because you do.
By being calm and firm with him, he in-turn learns to be calm and firm in stressful situations..

welcome to the terrible two's!! I am right there with you!

BTW: THIS IS NOT SIGNS OF AUTISM, DO NOT LISTEN TO THEM..THIS IS VERY NORMAL DEVELOPMENT FOR A CHILD AT 18 MONTHS. PLEASE PURCHASE THAT BOOK IT WILL EXPLAIN EVERYTHING TO YOU, HIS BRAIN DEVELOPMENT, HIS LACK OF EMPATHY AT THIS TIME AND HOW NORMAL HE IS AND HOW TO DISCIPLINE HIM PROPERLY.

TOO MANY CHILDREN'S LIVES ARE BEING RUINED BY PEOPLE SUGGESTING SOMETHING IS "WRONG MENTALLY" WITH HIM, AND THE MEDICATIONS AND DEPENDACY IS TERRIBLE...

Answer 2

I think any answers here may make you feel defensive so just weigh what I'm saying. He is 18 months old. Kids at that age need a lot of attention, they are very hyper, they have things that they consider valueable. (A favorite toy, etc...) If they don't get enough positive attention, they will act out to get negative attention. And it's all the same to them. Start rewarding good behavior. Tell him how wonderful he is & how proud you are when he does something good. This will make him want to do the good things. Don't yell or raise your voice because he just hears a bunch of noise. He doesn't understand. When he misbehaves, take away those things of value until he earns them back. Do not give him negative attention. When he scream & has a fit, ignore him. I hope this helps.

Also maybe see a pediatrician to see if he has some sort of food allergy.

Good luck to you.

Answer 3

Terrible twos... Poor woman... My son has been going through these since about 16 months - he is now 1 week shy of 2 years old. My little guy is not this bad though. I think you need to be consistent with whatever you do. Deepen your voice and speak very firmly when he is bad. Not in your 'mommy voice'. Spank him on the butt if he hits. Point right at him and sternly say NO. I am wondering if your little one naps? I just read an article saying most behavioral issues at this age comes from the frustration of being tired. Just a thought.... You are not alone... hang in there.

Lyn

Answer 4

That's a hard one. I have twins and I was a single mother when they were little and they acted like this as well. I did alot of time outs! When they were bad I had a time out chair and I would make them sit in it for 3 minutes. If they got up during that 3 minutes I would start the time over and make them continue to sit. Needless to say the first week or so was a nightmare with two of them I was constently chasing them to sit them back down. Very stressful, but in the end they learned to just listen the first time and then they would have more time to play.

Answer 5

This is very typical for this age group. Sounds like his predisposition to act out in anger. That's ok, however, as a concerned parent it is important to get it under control. You may want to consult with a doctor. He may be better in a home daycare where there are not other kids for now. His personality and he may do better with playing on his own. Unfortunately we live in a society where people think you have to love "dealing" with other people...but some people work alone better.

It may take several tries but I would just keep trying different things till you found one that works.

Answer 6

When he acts up put him in a timeout spot. Somewhere where there are no toys or fun things to do. Maybe have a chair in a quiet spot. Don't get mad and yell or hit him, just remain calm and put him in the chair. Give him about 2-3 minutes and if he gets up put him back. Tell him at eye level that his behaviour is not appropriate so he must go to "the naught chair" or whatever you want to call it. It can be a mat on the floor if you prefer. Don't let him out until time is up. You could even put on a timer so he knows when time is up. Don't put him in his room to play with toys! It must be boring. When he is finished time-out tell him to say sorrry. Don't let his tantrums get you angry. Stay calm, I know it is hard!!

Answer 7

My nephew is the same way. He is three now and still acts the same. He does not talk yet and seems to not understand any thing being said to him. I would talk to his doctor . There may be an underlying problem.
It could also just be frustration as he is going to be talking more and may not have the ability to say what he wants. I would diffinatally remove him from others and do a time out when he does these things. If he does not sit there good. Sit with him until he sits for about 2 minutes it usually helps.

Answer 8

Sounds like he could use some professional help/treatment. I'm not talking drugs, but someone should assess him and see what's going on there.
There are lots of good parenting tips and tricks out there; Barbara Coloroso is (imo) the leader in the parenting field. If you have not read any of her books, check them out. SO MANY good ideas, theories, and things that actually WORK.

So much anger in an 18 month old could be the sign of something more serious, though. I'd get him checked out. It might just be a phase, but do you want to chance it?

Answer 9

I had a simular problem with my son. There were times that I literally though he was pocessed or somethig. If all else fails take him to your preacher and ask him to pray over him. I'm not saying this the whole answer to your problem but I think it may help. I know this sounds crazy but I've heard that people can harbor anger from past lives so much that it can interfere with there current life now. Pray for him every night.

Answer 10

Cosistent management of his unacceptable behaviour. Stay calm. If you can't stay calm ,leave the room if it is safe to do so. If it isn't or you are in a publis place be as far from him as is safe until he has calmed down a bit. When he hurts other children remove him immediately. Minimise attention so that he does not feel rewarded. Make the situation as boring for him as possible so that he is motivated to behave so that he can play etc.
Ensure that he has as much time outside as possible to run about so that he will tire himself out. Hyper-active is over diagnosed, and children this age can be incrediblt active esp if they don't need loads of sleep. Cut out all junk food from his diet (he prob won't like it but who is in charge?).
Good luck!

Answer 11

Monitor what you feed him first. What has sugar, coloring, etc., begin to carefully read labels. Feed him whole, good, healthy foods only. Watch the juices, loaded with natural sugars that make kids bounce off walls.

Next, watch how you react to his tantrums, that is a big part of it. If you get "The Nanny" that show about the nanny that helps parents deal with problems, it is great. You have to say it once and if he does not listen calmly have him in a time out. But you need to monitor yourself and not interrupt the time out. Keep putting him back on a special time out chair or corner and say nothing. Then when a minute is up, tell him he is finished with the time out and make sure you are on his eye level too. Ask him if he understands why he was in the time out.