I was on the train, waiting for the door to open. The train has motion sensors. This means that if you enter the area where the door is the door won't open, and you'd have to find another exit. So I was waiting for the door to open and the woman in front of me looked like she was going to go before the door finished opening. Not even thinking, on an instinct I gently touched her arm and was politely like "no don't go, it won't open." She then proceeds to yell at me. "Don't touch me. Use your words. This isn't the first time I've ridden the train, etc." I say, "I'm sorry." She yells at me again. I say I'm sorry again, but you don't have to be mean about it.
I just don't get this reaction. Can anyone please help me understand this so I can get over it. I'm kind of still in shock and keep replaying it in my head. Thanks!
2007-12-07 04:08:27 · 17 answers · asked by jessicarachel06 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Also, we were of different races, so I'm not sure if cultures and such played into the event.
2007-12-07 04:11:21 · update #1
Life is too short to dwell on other peoples issues. Let it go.
2007-12-07 04:13:33 · answer #1 · answered by bornagainbrat 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Especially on a crowded and public place like a train, people are usually wary of touching (especially when its done on purpose).
Since you apologized (and didn't hurt her), then you're not in the wrong anymore. But, honestly, the woman sounds like she was having a bad day (or year, or life), and so you definitely shouldn't take it personally.
As long as you believe you're doing the right thing, there's nothing to be ashamed of. Warning someone not to enter the door area is a perfectly acceptable thing to do, and gently touching someone's arm to get their attention is fine to me (though perhaps uncomfortable with strangers).
Since you were reacting to something that was just about to happen, I wouldn't worry about touching her arm, but if you can help it, try not to touch people you don't know.
2007-12-07 04:16:47 · answer #2 · answered by Julie 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Well, don't beat yourself up about it. The woman has issues that have nothing to do with you. She wouldn't have overreacted otherwise.
The only thing I'd advise you to do differently in the future is to not touch strangers. Even though it may have been your impulse to do so, and I'm sure you meant it kindly, some people would read this as a gross violation of their personal space (just ask any pregnant woman who has had too many hands laid on her belly!).
2007-12-07 04:48:16 · answer #3 · answered by kcbranaghsgirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've learned the hard way that strangers just don't like to be touched.
But other than that, you really didn't do anything wrong, the woman was just probably having a bad day or etc. Forget about her and move on.
2007-12-07 04:18:05 · answer #4 · answered by Helena Handbasket 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not you. You simply encountered someone who doesn't recognize kindness and concern from someone else....or appreciate it.
If a difference in culture had anything to do with it...then FOR SURE....you shouldn't feel badly about it. You did the right thing...the respectable thing.
You're in shock over it because that kind of behavior just isn't in your makeup and it took you off guard. That also proves that you are the better person.
Good for you. Keep doing what you're doing. You are a commendable person.
2007-12-07 04:13:30 · answer #5 · answered by LolaCorolla 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Some people are not comfortable with being touched, especially by strangers. In addition, you were telling her what to do, although you were trying to be helpful. I agree with the other answerer that she overreacted, though. Maybe she was having an especially bad day.
2007-12-07 07:38:33 · answer #6 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She was in a hurry and took her tardiness out on you.Culture has nothing to do with manners.Once an adult,they should have manners.Some do and some don't.You were trying to help,just step back from now on and let people find out for themselves about every thing.But may I thank you for her?thanks for trying....
2007-12-07 04:14:55 · answer #7 · answered by Maw-Maw 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Some people have phobia's about peoples germs and things of that nature. Maybe she doesn't like to be touched, but on the other hand she did not have to be so rude.
2007-12-07 04:39:44 · answer #8 · answered by mamarivers 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You never know what experiences a person has had in their lives that could lead them to freak out if you touch them. No, she shouldn't have yelled at you, but it's very unwise to touch someone you don't know if they haven't invited it.
2007-12-07 08:14:41 · answer #9 · answered by bainaashanti 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a shock to be on the receiving end of somebody else's problems. Just forget about it.
2007-12-07 04:20:10 · answer #10 · answered by Jen 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋