I worked with this lady who was very difficult to work with. We both got along, but any other person she's worked with never liked her. Not only that, but everybody else in the office doesn't like her either. Well I recently got a promotion and she's been a complete B-Word to me because she's been here over a year longer than I have.
So now that I'm in a different area, people talk crap about her all day long and call her by her nickname "Cupcake" because she's so uptight.
I feel bad and I feel pressured to make fun of her too.
I haven't, but what would you guys do in my situation?
2007-12-07 03:29:51 · 13 answers · asked by ♥ Blonde&Intelligent 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Ignore her. She's just plain jealous of you.
Did it occur to you that maybe you earned the promotion you did (in part) because you conduct yourself in a professional manner, and found a way to get along with a difficult person? Don't blow that now just because she's envious of your success.
2007-12-07 03:41:22 · answer #1 · answered by kcbranaghsgirl 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Office Politics 101: Never ever badmouth or gossip about a colleague - present or former. Ever. No matter what they do or how they behave.
When others start to poke fun at Cupcake, do your best to change the subject. If you have to, look at your watch and mumble that you have a deadline to meet and beat a hasty retreat. But whatever you do, don't participate in office gossip.
If they pressure you - tell them flat out that you feel uncomfortable talking about someone behind their back - and that you wouldn't talk about them behind their backs either.
Office Politics 102: Let the evil ones hang themselves. This is regarding Cupcake's present behavior - let it slide. Always treat her with respect - but not favoritism. Her nastiness has already earned her the disrespect of the others - let it get her fired, as well. It just takes time - but the powers that be will eventually rake her over the coals.
Why do you think you go the promotion over her - the powers know all about Cupcake.
2007-12-07 04:13:55 · answer #2 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Don't fall for the trap. Try to rise above the situation. She's a very unhappy person and shows it.
Think about it for a minute. How would you feel if the office staff was making fun of you and talking about you behind your back?
Change the subject. Or, if it keeps up, leave the room or the area.
You could also say "O.k., we have talked this subject to death, let's get back to work" or move on to another topic.
You got the promotion because of hard work and professionalism. Don't loose it now.
2007-12-07 04:42:39 · answer #3 · answered by Daisy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let them persuade you to act immature. Live up to the promotion you got, and look toward the next one by being polite and by not gossiping. Try not to set Cupcake off, if that's possible - you'll look even better if you make it seem as though you're able to get along with her.
You don't have to take up for the B when they talk behind her back, but you might consider saying "Come on yall, we sound like a bunch of children. I'd hate to have the boss overhear this talk."
2007-12-07 04:15:57 · answer #4 · answered by Jen 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, congratulations for your promotion.
Well. This is the real test of the true you. It is very nice of you to have taken efforts and even succeed in getting along with this person who others find it hard to cope up with, and now, the equations have changed.
You have reached a place where she would like to have been, but that doesn't necessarily mean you beat her in the game. Since you have been nice to her till now, and have gotten along with her, it is best that you remain the same - otherwise you would prove yourself that you change according to your prosperity/adversity, and that is how you are going to prove yourself to yourself, if not to others. Believe me, the self esteem you gain by being nice is very valuable, it will come with you in the future.
Again, think about it - today's problems, when overcome, will give you moments to laugh about them sometime or years later. I had been in the same situation as you are now, but I still continued to be friends with a similar person, and now, after around 7 years, we are still good friends. He has been able to forgive himself for his own nastiness, and get a promotion later, and I am happy too because I did not lose a friendship because of my promotion.
Remember, there are more things in this world than just a promotion. That is a true statement about anybody. One of the more important things is happiness, and if friendship can bring you happiness, and if nicety will ensure friendship, why not go for it !!!
All the best with your current situation - trust me, these are passing clouds. Be sympathetic to her like you would have been if you had NOT got the promotion. It will pay in the long run - if you value your friendship with her.
2007-12-07 03:44:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Stay out of it. She doesn't need one more person on her back. If you decide to talk to her about why she is behaving this way, let her know that your prior experience pushed you over the top for the promotion. Maybe that will change her attitude. If its impossible to get along with her again, then just ignore all the banter and leave her alone as well. Life is difficult enough for her obviously without anyone else adding to her problems.
2007-12-07 03:39:02 · answer #6 · answered by wife2denizmoi 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
It's really, really important not to take part in dis-respecting others no matter what anybody else is doing. Be worthy of your promotion...continue to be fair and non-judgmental with ALL your co-workers. This is the professional way. Don't dis- your coworkers either...let it go. Good luck!
2007-12-07 04:09:04 · answer #7 · answered by Gina C 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If u have mercy on her is becoz u have a higher status. U just tell ur coworkers that u respect everybody even if the are absent...tell them so they can trust that u would not talk about them bad things no matter what.
Be strong...coz maybe is a trick ...they want to make u fail...I dont know...u just say is not ur style.
2007-12-07 03:37:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
just talk to her and say i got the promotion because i worked hard for it and because it is my career path. and for everyone else let them have their opinions and you have yours but don't say she is a beoch at work so you won't get in trouble
happy holidays!
2007-12-07 03:43:16 · answer #9 · answered by ☆☃❀ ~♥~♪ tigger bitten ♪~♥~ ❀☃☆ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just stay out of it. You'll come out looking better for it in the long run.
2007-12-07 04:04:28 · answer #10 · answered by LolaCorolla 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋