never comes over here to visit. They are the same age and go to school together, but they always go to her house. When she comes here to pick him up, she asks if he is here, quickly walks by me without saying hello and goes to his room, get him and leaves without saying goodbye. Now he has had girlfriends in the past and it was a mix of them coming here and him going to their house and the other girlfriends were always very nice with me and respectful and communicated with me. I'm not saying she does this out of disrespect, maybe just shyness, but they have been together going on 3 months now. I told my son since he is making it last with this girl that they need to plan on spending at least one day out of the week visiting over here and not every day over there. Her mom is a stay at home mom so I know they aren't just left alone there, but for whatever reason this girl just doesn't want to come here. I ended up yelling at my son this morning because it is upsetting me that
2007-12-07 02:03:42 · 21 answers · asked by Corona 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
They can’t just visit here just one day out of the week. I asked him why she never looks at me or says hello to me or anything and he said he didn’t know but that he really likes her and that I needed to back off. I told him at least the other girls he dated in the past have had outgoing personalities. I know I shouldn’t compare her to the other girls, and it is probably wrong of me to try and force this girl to like me or even say hi to me, but I feel like I am losing my son. I guess I just don’t understand why she doesn’t come here? All the other girls LOVED coming over here, and I loved having them here. I am not saying that I want him to break up with her. I would just like to make her feel comfortable enough to come over here, but I don’t know how to do this unless she gives me a chance. Any suggestions?
2007-12-07 02:03:56 · update #1
They're probably having sex at her house cause her stay-at-home mom stays glued to the soap opera's on t.v, and is too busy to care to check up on em while they're screwing away.
Good Luck!
2007-12-07 02:17:33 · answer #1 · answered by Lilly B 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She could be VERY shy, like you said!
If you and your son are 'close', then try to trust that he knows what he's doing. (-At least so far as a 16 year old can 'know what they're doing'...)
Maybe you could invite her over for dinner? BUT(!) keep in mind, that if she is shy she may not 'accept', but don't take it personally! -Could she have an 'Anxiety Disorder'? Maybe she's had a 'bad experience' in the past? Don't jump to the conclusion that she 'doesn't like you'....! "Meeting the parents" is always intimidating. 'Hanging out' with "the parents" even more-so...!!!
Maybe order a pizza and have your son invite her over to watch a movie (or ?). Then you could 'hover', without being too 'invasive', and slowly get to know her...and vice-versa...
If nothing works out and the lines of communication never 'open up', don't sweat it, they're teenagers! You said they've been together for 3 months, that's a lifetime in "teen years"! It will most likely NOT be a life-long relationship.....before you know it, there'll be a 'new girl' coming home with him...! ;) :)
And P.S. -It's ABSOLUTELY TRUE!! >The more you 'push an issue' with a teenager, the more they'll push back!!!! Remember when YOU were 16??? (Sends a cold c~h~i~l~l~ through me....)
2007-12-07 02:39:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not losing your son, but this girl is sure intimidating you. Why is she a threat? Your son is right, back off. If you want to make friends with his g/f, then invite them to dinner, or take them out for pizza. Be smart about this, you are the grown up. I would continue to be friendly, he's 16, he's not going anywhere. Part of your responsibility as a mom is to separate from your son.
You know, its the holidays, its a great time to have the g/f and her family over for some eggnog.
2007-12-07 02:45:29 · answer #3 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is really weird that she doesn't want to look at you. wondering now if she is smoking pot. cause when you do you kinda avoid the parents and looking someone in the eye. I'm not saying she is... but it's possable. or maybe she is really shy. But that doesn't really justify that she can't even say Hello when she come in and your there. I would sit your son down again and talk to him tell what you just told us and tell him that if he continues to see this girl and he's serious about her that you would really like to get to know her too and for her to give you a chance. You can spend once a week here at your house. Maybe all of you going out to dinner and pay for hers just to break the ice. show her that your not a monster. your not I know. good luck.
2007-12-07 02:36:57 · answer #4 · answered by jennajade 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to quit disrespecting you. If you say hello to her and she doesn't reply she has no business in your house. Even if she's shy she can still say hello. It's not that hard. Are you sure she isn't a mute? Or you can try inviting her over for dinner some night. Tell your son that you would like to have a nice dinner with her sometime. That might get the communication flowing.
2007-12-07 02:08:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
My son is 12. We used to be very close but as he's gotten older he doesn't really talk to me about "stuff". His dad and I are divorced and I don't really think he talks about "stuff" with his dad either, though. My husband (his stepdad) seems to be able to get the most information out of him. My husband says the reason he doesn't talk to me is because I'm not a boy and I don't understand how boys think. I'm beginning to believe him too! He gets him to tell him all kinds of stuff...stuff I would never even think of asking!!! I don't have any brothers so I don't even have that to fall back on! Just be his mom. You will always be his mom and that is a special thing...even if you aren't close as he gets older. Just enjoy what you get and hope for the best with the rest of it.
2016-05-22 00:08:22 · answer #6 · answered by nydia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kenzie .....She's already stated that's what she's done to no avail!
This is a puzzle! Girlfriends nearly always want to be friendly with the mother. I think this girl and your son have something they are hideing from you. If I were you I'd call her parents and ask to meet them. Maybe for lunch or coffee? Perhaps there would be something forthcoming from this. I think that it is extremely rude of this girl, to enter your house and not even offer a greeting.
2007-12-07 02:14:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you could try to be a little extra friendly to the girl. She might just be uncomfortable around you for some reason. Maybe you could even set up a cookie baking session for you, your son, and her? I agree that telling your son that they have to spend some time at your house is an appropriate thing to do.
2007-12-07 02:08:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she isn't as close with her mother and doesn't know how to respond well with adults.
And it could very well be the start of a controlling relationship where she calls the shots, and then makes him feel guilty if he doesn't go along with what she wants.
Ask him if they, as a couple, ever hang out with any of his friends?
Or do they always hang out with her friends?
Or if the girl has any other friends at all?
2007-12-07 02:18:51 · answer #9 · answered by Ella 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a mother of a daughter, I never felt comfortable with her spending time at a boy's house unless I met the parents and knew they would be supervised. Try inviting her family to dinner and get to know her mom and then suggest to her mom that you would like to see more of her daughter. It would put her at ease with the daughter spending time at your house.
Merry Christmas!
2007-12-07 02:12:02 · answer #10 · answered by Linda S 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋