I got a 23 yr old who works his a off, pays off his student loans hasn't finished college, job is threatening him, has little to no friends, and feels he will never be able to go back to collge and he will be working a dead end job.he cries like every month for about a couple days straight. he's depressed at his present situation and now that he's comming back home he looks at the walls and go to work. I really want to help him. I want tot tell him he is a very young boy and he can do anything he wants but its hard because he does not believe me since i'm his mom. I keep telling him there are 30 yr old and ABOVE who don't have his life together yet. I really am concerned. his car broke down not too long ago and when that happened he had to move in with me . we can't really LENd him any money and even if we could he wouldn't take it. he seems angry. mostly at himself. he's turning 24 soon i want to show him the way but honestly i don't know what else i can do. any help for a mom?
2007-12-07 00:47:17 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It sounds like your son is suffering from depression and should really see a doctor but if he's around to read this let him...
I am going through a really bad year myself too and I am 20 years older than you are.I have worked hard all my life trying to make things better but all I do is live paycheque to paycheque and I get so frustrated and depressed thinking that I too will never have the things in life I wish for.My car is a piece of crap and I haven't been working for over a month.it seems as if every time I start anew job and I get all excited ,someone or something keeps ruining it for me or shooting me down.
All you can do is get up every day and face the world again.One day you will find that things will fall into place.Thinking positively and putting your heart and soul into making the good things in life come to you will make it happen.Negative thinking will only bring you further down.Try and find a hobby you like or go out,even by yourself, as I have found that surrounding myself with upbeat and happy people helps my way of thinking and then things get a little better every day.
Start and live each day as if it was the best day of your life and smile instead of frown.You have a good 60-80 years ahead of you so don't try and make things happen overnight as they never will and will only bring you down further when it doesn't happen.Time heals hurts but it also brings great rewards.Be patient and good luck to you in whatever you do.
2007-12-07 01:00:32 · answer #1 · answered by Janell T 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you can stop trying to fix his life. I know its painful, but he's not a young boy, he's a grown man. Like it or not, these are the consequences of his actions. If he doesn't learn to cope, then he'll be doing the same thing at 40.
He doesn't have to pay off his loans if he's a full time student. He can enroll in a local community college, and change jobs. If you can provide home and food, he can change jobs to one that isn't threatening(I have no idea of what you mean by that) and start getting his feet back on the ground.
You also need to get him into counseling. There is nothing wrong with him, but these kinds of situations cause temporary depression and he needs tools to cope with that.
I know from personal experience that the urge to fix this for him is overwhelming. But you need to guide him, not do it for him. Believe me, my mantra is "Oh I am so sorry this happened to you. Do you have any idea's for a solution? Let's talk about your options.
2007-12-07 09:10:43 · answer #2 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u cant really do nothing for a mother, u cant connect to ur kid like that. im 16 turning 17 and thinkin of my life cuz i see all this pregent teen, and no life people. i dont want to be like that so i have to get to the top on my own. it hard but many time u just cant get help. The world is like that if u cant handle it the world will eat u alive. There are many thing to do. i was planing to be a part time bartender and go to college when i get out high school. Bartender u get alot of money and apply for scolarships that will help with college funds. there many people like ur son but many just have no hope.if i cant be a bartender just find a good payin job. he just next to relax for a while and just find a job that make big money and go to college. there is many job that u use little time and make BIG bucks. Some people are lucky that they are rich without finishing school. Just i hope him good lucky in life and reach to the top on his own will little shoves from love one. He just dont want to depend on his parent he just want to do it on his own.
2007-12-07 09:05:18 · answer #3 · answered by toria215 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds very depressed. I think he should see a doctor.
2007-12-07 08:52:26 · answer #4 · answered by Freckles2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋