My son is 15 and has not met my boyfriend yet.My boyfriend wants him to come to Florida to take him to Universal Studios,seaworld etc. during his xmas break.My son said he doesn't want to go to meet as he calls him" that guy".What can he do to get him to come? He has plenty of money maybe send him an awesome xmas gift or is that a bribe?I do love this person.Please no harsh remarks as I am a kind and generous person too.
2007-12-07 00:17:33 · 16 answers · asked by eagle 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I would go with him of course just thought he might enjoy
2007-12-07 03:22:33 · update #1
I think a better solution would be to have them meet on your son's territory... it's a new situation to him and he probably is scared and nervous about it and would feel out of his element, so to speak. I would have your bf show that he's willing to make an effort to be in your sons life... have him come to him for the first meeting. An effort like that is going to mean more to your son in the long run than xmas gifts or universal studios, as kids these days care more about love and companionship than they do about being bought. Good luck!
2007-12-07 00:21:52 · answer #1 · answered by Tiffany B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't say if you will be going, make sure you are going too. I'd get separate rooms...one for you and the son, one for the boyfriend...if they've never met definitely too soon for your son to see you sleeping together. Show your son the Universal website and tell him how much fun it will be, let him choose some things to do...maybe he could bring a friend along to keep him company. Don't be too affectionate to your boyfriend in front of your son either, let him ease into the situation. If you still can't change your son's mind...invite the boyfriend to your hometown (staying at a hotel) and slowly introduce them to each other. Have a talk with your son telling him how much this man means to you...you don't say what happened to his dad, but explain how his dad fits into this whole situation too. Be honest and go slow. Good luck!
2007-12-07 08:24:16 · answer #2 · answered by beaners1229 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't seem reasonable you would SEND your son. If you are going and want to TAKE him along then you're his mother and he should go with you regardless of what he thinks.
You may love this man but that is no reason your son will or has to do so. The man's relationship is with you. It is laudable that he wants to include your son but forcing it won't work. I notice that you left out any mention of your son's father or why you aren't with him. It seems likely that his reaction is partly in fear that you're trying to replace his father.
Of course you also don't mention how long you've known this guy or how long it has been since your last relationship if it wasn't with your son's father. Some women seem to "fall in love" serially. If this guy is just the latest in a series then your son rightly suspects it isn't going to last and sees no reason to allow himself to develop an attachment.
Don't confuse your relationship with your son with your relationship with this man. Just because you love both of them is no reason to believe they will love each other. At 15 your son's personality is mostly formed and your not going to browbeat him into liking the guy.
2007-12-07 08:41:40 · answer #3 · answered by Say_What? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should just take him, the both of you go together...That way he will not feel so strangely...Unless I misunderstood the question.
Anyone who is not his father will always be "that guy", until they have the chance to truly know oneanother.
That is what I would do.
It is never easy meeting someone who could possibly take the place as "man of the family", especially a teenaged boy with a caring mother.
So just be easy and speak from your heart, you will know what to say. I send you congratulations on your relationship, and hope that your holiday season is the greatest ever~
2007-12-07 08:22:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your son doesn't need a bribe.
Your boyfriend needs to gain your son's respect. Instead of trying to get him to go to Seaworld etc (another bribe), get your boyfriend to come to you. He should stay in a hotel so that he is not in your son's space and gradually spend time with him.
Making your son go to Florida is taking him out of his comfortable environment and putting him on the "back foot" straight away.
If this man is worth it to you... and more importantly, you are worth it to him... HE will put the time and effort in to get to know your son.
2007-12-07 08:23:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain to him that you really like him.....hopefully you are going too, right? Tell him that if he sees for himself what kind of a guy he is, that you will be in "tune" to hear his opinion of him....make him feel as if he "does" have some kind of a say....tell him you cannot listen to how he "doesn't" like him until he does actually meet him..........and I am a mother....dont feel as if it is a "bribe" if he sends him a Xmas gift.....it's just a xmas gift! Good luck!
2007-12-07 08:23:43 · answer #6 · answered by Go Away 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your son doesn't want to go to meet him, then you should respect that decision.
Especially for the first time they meet, your boyfriend should come and visit you and your son. It would be on his turf and probably more comfortable. Then if he doesn't like the guy, at least he'll be better able to avoid him for the time he's around.
If he does end up liking the guy, then he maybe he'd want to go visit him in Florida.
2007-12-07 08:21:01 · answer #7 · answered by cool girl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmm,why doesnt your son like 'that guy?'
If this is your 1st meeting with this man..it would seem a bit forced and as tho he is trying to 'buy' your son ..which can cause resentment...
Your son comes 1st..sit down and talk to him..listen to what he says with open ears and consideration....
Im sure this is very difficult for you, being in the middle..
Best wishes.
2007-12-07 08:24:02 · answer #8 · answered by Quasi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cannot force your son into going to meet your boyfriend.
It might be more appropriate if you all go out for dinner together locally. This is "weird" for a 15 yo and he;s not gonna want to leave his comfort zone. Have your boyfriend come to your city
2007-12-07 08:23:02 · answer #9 · answered by TheDeeds 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
an xmas gift might do. but i would find a common interest b/w your son and your b/f. if they can click' or connect over that common interest then the rest is easy!
personally as a kid i remember one of my moms b/fs and he would coach soccer for me, he bought me a rifle and took me to shoot. he would rough house and play. come and jump on the trampoline. he would actually interact and have fun. he wasn't just some guy sleeping w/ my mom!! he was my friend.
2007-12-07 08:22:57 · answer #10 · answered by bobowness 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋