Child's friend has anorexia- how do I handle mealtimes?

Question

I am a nanny to three children. Many of the other neighborhood children come to visit and stay through mealtimes, especially if they live farther away. Recently Sara, my 11 year old charge, has been bringing home a new friend. Like the rest of the kids, she will stay through dinner, though she hardly eats at all. I never paid much attention until two weeks ago Sara informed me her friend struggles with anorexia.

I am afraid I have been insensitive about food issues as I didn't know. I have no experience with children with eating disorders- how can I be sensitive to her? Should I avoid food topics altogether, or should I act normal as if I don't notice?

I figure the best thing I can do is try to reinforce her self esteem in other (non food related) ways. She is a sweet but very timid girl who seems to have a low sense of self worth. Are there any other suggestions? And what do I do at mealtimes

Answer 1

Just act relaxed about it and don't put much focus on it. Try avoiding food situations at all with her though, because with anorexia social situations +food =social anxiety, bad realtionships, and a ver stressful situation. I've been anorexic, and its a biyatch having your friends parents trying to buy you milkshakes and take you out to eat all the time. And its emabarassing when they always just have to as your parents. Sucks really.

Isn't it obvioius though? In cases of clinical anorexia nervosa its extremly obvious and very deadly. I hope she recieves proper medical treatment.

Answer 2

You could include the children in making the meal and ask the friend for suggestions of what they should make. The girls could be left to make the whole meal themselves if its simple enough and they could maybe have a private meal together so the child doesn't feel awkward not eating around you.

Answer 3

See self esteem, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris in section 38, and suggest she does some volunteer work, even from home, as outlined in section 47, which provides a solid basis in reality for the daily affirmations: "I am a good person, who is valued by my community, because I (insert activity here)". Section 2 also refers, and anorexia is addressed in section 44: print, and give to one of the girls, to give to the sufferer's parents.

Answer 4

Don't skirt around issues..it will only draw attention.Maybe some normalcy could break her out of this.Her parents probably dwell too much on the topic already...so don't make a bigger deal by acting weird around her now.Just do what you were doing before you found out.

Answer 5

I have to agree. Her parents probably make enough fuss over the child as is. Treat her as you would the other kids at meal time. If she doesn't eat... so be it. Let the girl be herself and don't focus on the problem.