A married woman is coming on to me...?

Question

Far too strong...
I befriended her when she had marriage problems, that is it. but i think she took my goodwill as interest. it really isnt.
we work together, but i am sooooo in love with my girlfriend - and have told her this.
yet she tells me that i could have a future with her.
she doesnt seem to acknowledge my rejections... no matter how many times i tell her.
She called my mobile phone late last night causing my girlfriend to start asking questions. i have no idea why she rang - i dont ever speak to her on the phone.
but now my girlfriend is wondering why this woman is ringing me in the middle of the night.
URRGH!
How can i tell her to f*** off?!! She doesnt seem to understand!!
HELP!!

i told my girlfriend months ago, the married woman has taken her foot off the gas for a few months, but is now ringing me.
im lucky my girlfriend knows i would never cheat on her.

Answer 1

Yikes- this could be considered sexual harassment. Let your girlfriend know EXACTLY what you told us... and maybe even speak to your employer. You've obviously tried the nice approach... tell her to stop again in a very firm way and if she doesn't, tell her husband.

Answer 2

I was living with a female attorney once (a labor negotiator) who, in between jobs, became a bartender. We were supposed to be almost engaged. As a bartender, she attracted attention and was the kind of woman who really liked that and wasn't afraid to bend the rules.

A married man started showing lots of interest in her, and hung out regularly with his union buddies at the bar where she bartended. I'd go pick her up after work and he would always be there and you could cut the karma with a knife. Lots of flirting had been going on. My lady and I would leave together and he'd always follow right behind, like he was doggin' me and had to make a Macho show for his buddies.

She even went out with him once, supposedly in a group, for dinner after a big union meeting but ended up staying out all night because of the snow storm and traffic conditions and she had to get a room. YEAH RIGHT! He even bought her a special ring (she was a jewelry hound) that my gal had the audacity to wear in front of me. I couldn't believe it.

But I took care of it very quickly. I researched his number and called his wife. I didn't say who I was or specifically what the offense was that he was committing but I said, "I know your husband and I just have to tell you, he is doing things he shouldn't be doing. I hope I don't have to call you again and tell you specifically what is happening but you should be questioning where he is and what he's been doing when he stays out."

Well, she suspected he was fooling around and obviously had a conversation with him. After that, he stopped hitting on my girlfriend and she speculated it might have been me that called, but she couldn't prove it and couldn't get mad because she shouldn't have been fooling around in the first place, particularly if we were living together and she so wanted me to propose to her.

But that relationship fell apart and I am glad it did because I was better off in the long run. People who cannot be loyal to their mates need to just not be married and make it plain to everyone, they are playing the field but not serious about anyone. So you can try making that anonymous call to this married woman's husband and see if she backs off. You might also recruit your girlfriend to do the same although she is less sensitive to the politics of your office and might go overboard and say something that could identify from where this is coming.

But ultimately, you have the Ace to play in this hand. It is her husband who may very much want to recruit your testimony if he decides to declare divorce. If she's been doing this with others, he probably suspects it and would be happy for some good ammunition to start a divorce.

This is serious stuff and you are right not to play with fire. Stay away from that lady because she spells trouble for everyone.

Answer 3

Tread carefully, my friend. She sounds obsessive and needy. Just keep ignoring her, don't acknowledge her phone calls, or even her presence. Don't be angry, be completely indifferent and in time she will find another victim. Its the human equivalent of "lay very still and it will go away." If you try to fight it will just make it worse. You made several critical mistakes here that you should never do again: 1.) listening to the intimate revelations of a coworker; 2.) who is female; 3.) who is having marriage problems. Lesson learned? I hope so.

Answer 4

hi just keep being firm with her telling her you are not interested, but more importantly be honest with your girlfriend and tell her what is going on with this woman, if she finds out from someone else she will feel betrayed and if you are up front with her now she should appreciate your honesty and have more trust in you in the future....doubt has already been planted in her head from the late night phone calls. Good luck

Answer 5

OK darlin you need to stop talking to her... totally!!!!
stop telling her anything as she still thinks your interested...the more attention you give her weather it be positive or negative the more she thinks your still interested.. she doesn't believe you...
if this doesn't help say in about a week or less if she still bothering you then your looking at sexual harassment and you need to let your boss know what is going on.. document everything that has happened up to this point and give a copy to your boss and keep a copy for your self. keep documenting till the problem is resolved and the lady is aether fired or just leaves you alone....
cheers
Jo

Answer 6

Sometimes you have to be rude for people to get it. Come right out and tell her that you don't appreciate her interest and it needs to stop. What she is doing is bordering on stalking and if it doesn't stop you will speak to the police. Make sure you keep a log of all the dates and times that she calls you so you have something to go to them with.

Answer 7

Easy, change your phone number (unless of course, she has to have it since you two work together)
If changing your number won't help, just don't talk to her at work unless there are other people around. Tell her that you are not interested in a relationship with her. If all else fails, talk to your supervisor and see about working in a different section. Hope that helps, you sound like you are in a bind!

Answer 8

Tell her she is making a fool out of herself and has become an embarrasement to you...what you once thought of her and a situation you had tried to help her with was obviously a mistake from your point of view now, and you can not nor would you ever be in a relationship with someone you did not respect. She needs to go home to her husband.

Answer 9

have your girlfriend talk to her in person or on the phone and make sure your girlfriend talks in a mature manner to back off and your not intrested.or if you dont want to get your girlfriend involved to much tell her yourself. dont be scared to hurt the bitches feelings. shes miserable and wants u in her drama. tell her your not the one.and tell her she needs to be alone and find her true self. her messed up marriage and needing another mate is not your problem. and start bragging bout your girlfriend more. make sure she only hears things about you and your loving girl friend.

Answer 10

You will have to tell her in a very strong abrupt manner you are not interested ,never were, never will be. Explain she has caused a issue between you and your partner and that it is bang out of order and you won't stand for it if that doesn't work threaten to tell her husband