2007-12-06 18:49:16 · 28 answers · asked by purple dove 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i love him but am not in love with him anymore. i don't want to hurt him though, but am tired of feeling hurt myself all the time.
2007-12-06 18:49:58 · update #1
This happened to me once... no wait.. a few times!! lol!!
The first thing to do is this:
Ask yourself if that person is good to you. And how would you feel if that person didn't love you anymore? or left you for someone else, or cheated? Think about it.
If you feel unsure about the love, try asking that person how THEY feel about your relationship, and where is it going.
Maybe you just need some reassurance?
If you feel like your love is fading, talk about some fond memories you two share of when the love was at it deepest.
Try to uncover the hidden spark!
everyone goes through blah times in relationships...
sometimes all you need is a romantic night out! Try something new and unexpected together? be crazy and paint on each other's faces and take pictures! lol (that's what my bf and I do all the time lol)
See if you can bring the love back.
If you find that you can't, then you'll know that it's time to find someone else.
Good luck! <3
2007-12-06 19:05:33 · answer #1 · answered by Laura 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is there a possibility that with effort you can regain that love? For awhile I felt the same way with my boyfriend, I lost that loving feeling and I didnt care if we didnt see each other as much, talk on the phone as much etc. He knew that I was possibly thinking of a breakup. From that he really put forth effort, and I truly regained the love back for him. Have you talk him about your feelings? I think thats the best way to go, then if he really loves you back he most likely will put forth a lot of effort to win the love back like my boyfriend did. If you don't want to do that, take a break from dating! Use that time to reflect, if you come back after things and decide that you still am not in love with him, then end things. Otherwise you may decide that you truly do need him in your life. If it goes the negative way though, just keep things as nice as you can. Make sure to end things in person, online/ the phone etc is no way to do it if you truly care about a person. Next explain to him what a wonderful person he is and that you guys shared a beautiful thing at one point, but that now unfortunatly you dont feel that anymore. Say also that if there isnt love, then its better to end things sooner than later as the heartache only gets worse the longer you get into a relationship. Tell him that you truly do care about him though and that you wish him the very best in life and would love to remain friends (that is if you do!). By breaking up that way, he can feel a little more at ease vs. someone just saying that they are ending it without giving an explanation. Hope this helps. Good luck!!
2007-12-06 18:58:34 · answer #2 · answered by Alleykat 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Be careful, "I love him, but I'm not in love with him" is the single most messed up concept in modern relationships.
You will likely hurt him more if you utter those words to him. It's a confusing pile of doo doo.
State the truth and you'll likely have a smoother break up. Identify why it is that you aren't attracted to him anymore. Another man, you just like the first part of relationships, you just want more freedom to date, you don't like something about him. Whatever it really is. It's much better and less confusing to just find out the truth and then let him in on it.
Also, consider that "i love you, but I'm not in love with you" is also a signal that perhaps you have reached an obstacle or there is a tough time in the relationship. Be mindful of the fact relationships go though times when feelings aren't as strong and that's normal. There is no such thing a the magical person that gives you constant bliss forever. You will be looking for that person the rest of your life.
2007-12-06 18:58:42 · answer #3 · answered by ∞ sky3000 ∞ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would like to share a little wisdom with you if I may? You may not feel as though you love him anymore but that doesn't mean it's so (?). I don't know how old you are and I don't know if someone has caught your fancy. You sound very headstrong and self centered; But I don't want you to be unhappy for the rest of time and I don't want you to make the biggest mistake of your life either. Two questions to ask yourself; Does your man love you? Does he show you he loves you? If you answered yes to any one of the two it is worth going to see a doctor. You may be suffering from some sort of disorder (depression or hormonal imbalance). You may also want to seek marriage counseling, first on your own and then together. I wish you the best of luck!
2007-12-06 19:04:03 · answer #4 · answered by beamer 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself why you don't love him anymore. Have you changed? Has he changed? Has the relationship changed? It is possible to grow apart. Perhaps your interests have become different. Perhaps you're simply not attracted to him anymore, but love him has a friend. You need to talk to him about this and let him know how you feel. Be very gentle! You don't want to hurt his feelings. Open the conversation by asking him how he feels about your relationship. You might be surprised to find out that perhaps he feels the same way, or he might want to fight to keep you and make some changes that might improve the relationship. Hope this helps. Good luck.
2007-12-06 19:01:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should be honest with him and let him know how you feel. If you don't tell him then you are being unfair and you will hurt him more in the end. You may want to make sure that you are just not in a bad mood or something first though. You may be able to rekindle the love you once had.
2007-12-06 19:07:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Remember that you are not only being unfair to yourself, but to him too. You need to be honest with him, but tell him that you would like to remain friends if he is willing. If he does not want to see you, then you must accept that. Just be sure that this is really what you want because he may be so angry that he will never take you back.
I have seen that happen many times. Sometimes the grass looks much greener on the other side of the fence, but when you get there it really is not. If you fertilize your own lawn, it is sometimes better. (In other words, you may want to revive the love you once had before making a decision like that.)
2007-12-06 19:03:09 · answer #7 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
...especially people needs especially permissions...
Feelings are not allways 4 love..there are much mmore since too much happenings in a "friendship"...don´t know ?whatever it is! ...Love is going out from my heart and sometimes it hurts...yourself,...myself,..himself,...herself,...ourself but what is "love" you spoke so many things about? Definate the verb and take a talk to the men, one by one. ...Try it , you will see the change will be happend, May, a lot off could see what you are, realy.....Good luck
2007-12-07 01:19:29 · answer #8 · answered by Jari 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't give up straight away i'd confront him with the things that made me fall out of love with him in the first place... if that does'nt work the best thing to do is tell him but you have got to be sure if you let go because if you're not you might hurt yourself and him more. If you tell him.. tell him why and be nice about it but don't give him false hope.
2007-12-06 18:54:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think that the best thing for you to do is to end the relationship...If you don't feel the same love for your parterner and you just fell hurt the best thing is for you to end the relationship...but talk to him in a good way...try to make him understan that things are not working out between you guys anymore and that the best thing is for you guys to be friends.
2007-12-06 18:55:40 · answer #10 · answered by Canha 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋