last thanks giving she was grinding her teeth in my uncles face cause he expressed a different religious opinion. called me a communist, and said i should have to live in a third world country, just cause i had an opinion on the war and our military. i have to walk on egg shells while she controls the whole atmosphere. she tells my one year old that her mother(me) is crazy and she should live with her. it seems small, but i am dreading this x-mas dinner. my sister is afraid that by me not going, i am breaking up the family, and hurting my grandmother, as well as putting her in a weird spot. i seriously can't stand her, and talking doesn't do it, you talk, she gets in your face all intimidating like. i'd appriciate any suggestions.
2007-12-06 18:10:19 · 10 answers · asked by shes_a_rriot 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I can empathize with you. I know what you mean! Just eat at the kid's table ;) Seriously though, try to ignore her. Just keep eating and let her make a fool of herself. If she attacks you, stand up for yourself and warn her. If it happens again, then leave the table.
2007-12-06 18:16:03 · answer #1 · answered by Mav17 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't mention your age or marital situation so that makes it a little difficult to answer, so I'll answer two ways. If you are married and have your own home, I'd invite family members to your house and do your own thing. If you aren't then I'd just not go and go somewhere else. You do not have to subject yourself to her just because she's related. Otherwise, there's nothing you can do. It's her behavior and her issue and if the others choose to include her and be around here that's their issue.
If you don't go you are not breaking up the family at all. That is a guilt trip. No one has to put up with people just because they are related. You don't have to say anything bad or rude, as I'm sure you wouldn't. But you do not have to subject yourself to it.
If it were me, I probably wouldn't go. But I have children and a husband, and again, I don't know your situation. But we have created our own traditions here at our home and choose to not go anywhere for the holidays. We've always left our door open for them to come here, but we love being here and having a fantastic meal and just chilling out. It's nice this way too.
Good luck! You sound lovely. Don't let anyone lay guilt on you!
2007-12-07 11:46:35 · answer #2 · answered by oh_my_its_linda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Watch the "Klumps" the movie.... hope it makes you laugh. You either don't listen to her and just talk to other members of the family or don't attend all together and she'll bash your image like anything because you didn't attend. I have an aunt like that and her son finally told her to shut up or he'll have her take her dinner in her room instead of destroying everyone's thanksgiving dinner. She shut up but the table was quiet from then on. Its awkward but sometimes bad talk has to be stopped esp during family dinners.
2007-12-07 02:17:19 · answer #3 · answered by Equinox 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen carefully.
When you are all at the dining table having your Christams lunch/dinner
If she says anything to you..anything that puts you down...in your most polite voice say, "aunty...come on we are all adults now. We have to be mature. what will (your one year old) think!
If she replies or insults you further...then sister...be polite still and say..it is Christams how about some Christams spirit. Get up from the table and pretend to go to the toilet. I tell you the look on her face will be priceless!!
2007-12-07 07:06:55 · answer #4 · answered by decemberbaby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Laughter is the best medicine. Ignore her, and especially ignore what it is that you think she is doing to you. When she stops getting so much attention, she'll move on.
Oh and btw, family gatherings are not the place to speak about religion or politics. Nice weather we've been having, if you get my point.
2007-12-07 02:28:54 · answer #5 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i suppose if it were me, and the aunt made comments, i'd simply tell her it's sad her life is so miserable that she has to be obnoxious toward everyone else. and then, i would just continue with what i was doing as if she didn't exist.
someone needs to put her in her place... and with any luck someone will!
it's too bad you just can't hold her down and wrap an entire roll of duct tape around her head, starting at her mouth... heehee.
2007-12-07 02:43:06 · answer #6 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she gets in your face, get in her face! Let her know you mean business. Tell you grandma or mom to talk to her if that doesn't work. Get flip with her. Don't respond to anything she says, dont talk to her or anything. If she start nagging, just be quite and continue you meal. If you leave, then she'll do it some more. Just be calm and patient. We all know she's crazy.
2007-12-07 02:20:12 · answer #7 · answered by Respect Is What It Is 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like everybody backs down from her. why?
talk to the other family members. but if it hurts grandma
just ignore her.turn your head and start conversation with someone else.i think it would ruin her day if she couldn't get you upset
2007-12-07 02:48:46 · answer #8 · answered by bluesky 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds awful, slip her a roofie! No, you all need to stand up to her together. When she starts behaving inappropriately, give her a smack-down (verbally).
2007-12-07 02:17:16 · answer #9 · answered by R H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO do not put yourself in a situation where you are surrounded by folks that you do not like.
Just because you are related does not mean that you have to accept UNACCEPTABLE behavior.
2007-12-07 03:13:12 · answer #10 · answered by laura g 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋