When I get home, my fiance and his daughter are yelling at each other, which i can't stand. So i get involved in their fighting to calm them down. Should I stay out of it or get in middle. My fiance's daughter is 12 and she tells me to shut up and mind my own business, Do I listen to her or do i get in middle? I have known both of them for five years, and her mom sees her two times a week and every other weekend. My fiance, his daughter and I live in same household and have lived together for three years, any advice is helpful
Thank you
2007-12-06 17:48:03 · 8 answers · asked by chiefs fan 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Ok think about what you are saying.
You get involved to calm them down, and the daughter tell you to shut the hell up and mind your own business!
How is that calming anyone down????
You should A. Put your foot down and tell your fiance that the daughter WILL NOT speak to you that way.
B. Tel the daughter that she WILL NOT speak to you that way
Start talking away some major priveledges this friggin brat has. Who runs the house , you guys or her???
2007-12-06 17:54:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask your fiance what he wants you to do. Sit down with the daughter and him, when they are not fighting and decide on boundary's and consequences. When a 12yr talks to you like that, you have two choices. Lay down and let her walk all over you, or tell her that you are minding your business, her. Then consequences come in. Its not going to get better over the next few years, you need to get a handle on this now.
2007-12-07 02:32:54 · answer #2 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats his daughter, not yours. Let them fight it out, they look like they need it. Best option for you is to ask the girl what happened when she's calmed down already or go to her room and just ask if she's okay or if she needs someone to talk to. How come the father allows her to talk like that to you? Anyway, since you've been there 3 years, maybe its about time you be a friend to the daughter and work from there.
2007-12-07 02:03:27 · answer #3 · answered by Equinox 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a 13 year step daughter myself. She doesn't live with us, but if she ever told me to "Shut up and mind my own business", I would be livid! She lives in your home, and she needs to show you respect. She needs to be told that, and quickly, or she will continue to disrespect you. Sit down with your husband and work out a discipline plan together. She may not be your daughter, but she has no right to speak to you that way.
2007-12-07 02:01:17 · answer #4 · answered by munkees81 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i mean if you are going to marry your fiance and you cannot even have a say on that matter then what would your marriage be like, everytime they would be fighting would you just stare at them, i mean its much more easier to get out of the house whenever they would do that, but that would show no commitment, and trust, with you and your fiance.
2007-12-07 02:25:32 · answer #5 · answered by haringmarumo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As you are going to become a family then I suggest that you lay down some ground rules that you can all live by.You have a right to become involved when things get ugly.
2007-12-07 03:18:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you guys need to work out a bill of rights for everyone who lives in the house so it's the rules, not one person, trying to tell someone how to act or what's ok to do or say and what's not ... it is your business when someone's making a row in yoour house and it's upsetting you... but they have a right to air thier differences ...you need to sit down and problem solve the situation -- remember it's the situations you want to fix, not the people ...
2007-12-07 01:55:40 · answer #7 · answered by onecowboyjake 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
one word for you FAMILY COUNCILLING...
2007-12-07 03:36:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋