Parental problems?

Question

Some background about my family I (21) live with my mom (45) and my sister (going on 16). My moms a single mom so of course raising two girls money is tight

ok I found out back in about 2000 that my mom has this alter ego on the internet. she pretends to be in her late twenties, uses pictures of other people, and ends up on the phone with them for hours at a time either telling stupid stories, fighting and crying and threatening to kill herself.

Recently with her discovery of myspace its only gotten worse, she is " dating" this guy. I've heard her talking to him and to someone else about how she bought a good bottle of scotch and spent over 200 dollars on it, paid 250 towards his cell phone bill since he was calling her, and bought him this engraved necklace for about 200. I was hoping that she was lying to whoever she was talking to but had proof when a billing statement arrived at our house in her other name for a necklace that was engraved. I'm sorry thats way too much money to spend on a lie. My mom has my sisters money for her bands florida trip this spring and we suspect thats where she's getting this extra money

My mom has no idea I've know all of this and that I've actually found her myspace as well as his (unfortunately hers is private)

I'm out of ideas and I'm afraid to confront her about it.This is a long shot but has anyone dealt with anything like this... what should I do?

Thank you in advance

OK for the record I did not open the letter. it was from the company that made the jewelry. I left it on the table for her when she got home. And yes I understand that she is an adult and will do what she wants, but does that give her right to pretend to be someone else on the internet...probably not

Answer 1

You ask if anyone has ever dealt with anything like this. I have in a way, but my mother was schizophrenic, seriously.

When it is your mother that is doing these types of things, it is disturbing on many levels. She is your mother after all.

But here's the kicker, aside from that, she is an adult that is responsible for her own choices. Yes, it sucks when they affect you, and more so your sister, as she is younger, and cannot choose to love with her as you do, but ultimately, even when confronted, she will likely choose the same path, as it seems to make her happy.

If she is stealing the money from your sister's funds, then that would be quite embarrassing to her. If you feel comfortable, confront her in a subtle way about finances to gauge her reaction. Then, if you think she is lying, I would ask how she planned on repaying it.

My best advice to you, is to be there for your sister. You probably cannot change the outcome, but being a positive influence will be the greatest thing you can do in this situation.

Answer 2

Your mother is a grown woman and its not up to you to tell her what to do. Why you are opening up her mail, I'm not sure, but you need to knock that off. Have your sister tell her that her band teacher needs the money, and get it from her, if there is any left. Better to know now, than later.

Answer 3

Your mom has some huge emotional problems and really needs help.

Do you have a school counselor? If so, this is the person you might look to for sound help and advice... counselors are trained to help people deal with difficult life situations...

Otherwise, if you know an adult who you trust and respect, please talk with them... i'm sure they know your situation better than we do.

I'm sorry you are going through this. I can see you are very worried. please take care and i hope you get some good answers here

Answer 4

It sounds like your mother needs help.Speak to your school counsellor if you are worried.You doctor is another avenue to talk to.