am i a bad Catholic because I don't go to church anymore?

Question

i have an undieing faith in God, and pray all the time. i still believe in the same basic Catholic values that i grew up with. my problems are with the way mass is now. when i was young mass was more of a religios ceremony than it is today. it seemed to leave you with a more serious feeling afterward. you could go into the church any time and kneel down and pray when you felt a need to. you could go in and LIGHT A CANDLE! doing that gave me so much comfort! why did they do away with it? i've also been disapointed with the cover up and denial of child predator priests. and that leads to another problem i have with the Church. why can't a married man or a woman be a priest? you can't tell me a woman or married man can't say mass with any less love or devotion than a single man. when they say only a single man can be a priest, they are only inviting the truly dedicated, which is becoming rare, and the the people who will use the priesthood as a tool to commit despicable acts. am i wrong?

yeah Zaya, i do feel some guilt for going against the way i was raised. and also because even with how i feel, i'm still making sure my son makes his 1st communion,(he did that already) and his confirmation. i feel it's my duty, and when he's older, he can make his own decisions. as long as he still has a strong faith in God.

to Pam L, i never thought about it before, but yes, saying The Apostles Creed in mass has always made me feel strong and renewed.

Answer 1

The sickness of pedophiles is not just a " Catholic" problem it has touched all faiths. Try reading the periodicals from the bible belt (the South) every once in a while.

It does sadden us... but it is not our faith. When you repeat the Creed with other Catholics does it not make you feel stronger.

The candles are usually moved to a place that is less of a fire hazard. You can light prayer candles at home as well. But, if you don't agree with something at the parish, then you must let your feelings be known.

I have worked with a lot of priest. Their schedules hardly leave time for eating and sleeping... much less an entire family to raise. And, really, do you expect them to raise a family on what they are paid. Its not much. As a parishioner, are you going to be understanding when Fr. Tom can't make it to the hospital because his son is having his third birthday party.

Working in the church for so many years has yes, brought pain to my heart due to the violent acts on children that were covered up. But, I cannot forget the strengths I have gained. The holy men and women have also been great role models and teachers. The greatest percentage of clergy are truly good.
If you are still faithful then try a new parish. Sometimes it just takes the right place. Participate not only in the liturgy but in the parish activities. These will bring you great joy.

peace,

Pam

Answer 2

I’m a convert to the Catholic Church, and I can assure you without a doubt that the Catholic Church is God’s true Church. She is home.

I was confirmed only two years ago, so I’m not real sure what differences you’re talking about. At my parish, we can light candles at anytime.

It hurt me dearly, the child molestation scandal of the Church. I wish it would have been handled differently, and I pray for the offender and the offended. Everyone needs healing. Despite that, I cannot turn my back on the Church, the Faith. It is the Faith that is pure and perfect, and I cannot let the sins of men gray that for me.

As far as married clergy, from what I understand it isn’t a doctrine but more of a discipline. I have heard of several married Protestant clergy who converted to the Church and were ordained as Catholic priests. Here’s a great website to help you: http://www.catholic.com/library/Celibacy_and_the_Priesthood.asp.

As I understand it, a woman cannot be a priest because it would homosexualize the Mass. Here’s what I mean.

The Mass is like a wedding ceremony between a groom (Christ), and the bide (the Church - us). In the Mass, He is giving Himself to us in a very special, matrimonial way. This is why a woman cannot be a priest because you cannot have a bride giving herself to bride. Additionally, notice that the first priests were the apostles - all men. Even in the Old Testament, the priests were men. It is also because they stand in the person of Christ, and since He was a man, it’s pretty obvious that a woman can’t fill that role. Here’s another link that might help out: http://www.catholic.com/library/Women_and_the_Priesthood.asp

I would suggest you pray to God. Sit down and think about it is that bothers you and why. Offer this up to God in prayer. Then, go to Mass and receive Him in Holy Communion. That Blessed Food is the most precious thing there is. Concentrate on that. I’d suggest too, that you study the Faith. A good education in our Catholic faith is essential, and brings us closer to God.

Write me anytime if you need anything. God bless and take care.

Answer 3

While I understand the point of the first two answers, I find it kind of hard to accept that the Catholic church would say that. Some bishop perhaps, but the church as such? (I am far from being a sympathiser of the Catholic church but I still would like to see the references to what they said) In any case there is quite a difference between being a Christian and being part of, or agreeing with, a particular religion that claims to have a monopoly on Christianity. Christianity is a relationship with Jesus Christ. When you have that, you find a church of people of like mind with whom you worship. It is interesting that people who undermine the importance of rape are usually men. Men are not raped as frequently as women. A lot of Catholics have had abortions without being excommunicated. That doesn't means the church approves. In any case, for a rapist not to be excommunicated - that would imply something seriously wrong with the church, if true. Only, be careful what you believe. News is often twisted. To get back to whether you want to be a Christian any more. If being a Christian depends on approving what people who claim to be christians do, then you might as well quit being a Christian right away. If it means trusting in Christ for your salvation, and seeking to follow Him, then keep on. Don't let go. In fact, it may be your Christian values that lead you to disapprove of the purported actions and statements of that Brazilian bishop.

Answer 4

Hi there. You've said a mouthful there. We'll go one at a time.
As your brother in Christ, I am genuinely happy that inspite of everything, you still believe somehow. I won't venture to say that you're bad Catholic, nope. It is palpably a blessing that you continue to hang on to the Church.
Yet one's faith, hope and love in God and - as a Catholic you would know this - his church, have to be cultivated, nurtured and deepened too, much the same way that we make relationships grow and flourish. That entails an effort for all of us. Think about your blessings, your trials, the special love our Father God has for you, the love Christ had for you - to the point of giving up his life to save all of us from sin and death, and so on. I'm saying this so you would have good reasons to go back to church. Surely, making that little effort to hear mass for one hour in a week with 168 hours, is so little indeed. The mass is part too of the first and third commandments. The effort to do our little part in this life is probably worth it if we think about the eternal happiness Christ promised to us. Besides, it's hard to think about the communion of saints if we do not take part in this gathering called the mass, where we are somehow reminded that the church is a family, a community, where we are supposed to help one another. We do not live in isolation from the rest of our Catholic brothers and sisters.
But there is always a reason why we make decisions, including yours about not gong to church anymore. I am guessing that externals - like the ambience inside the church or the taking away of prayer candles - have little to do with it. Im convinced it's something deeper. Perhaps it's the issues you said, which I hope are not excuses for you to miss your Sunday mass or a cover up for laziness, sloth and prioritizing other activities. Hopefully not.
I hope that you will see through them: priests are humans, and they, like you and me, err too. It would be wrong to generalize that the entire clergy (in fact, only a small minority) are guilty of the despicable crimes you think of, or that the entire church approved of it, or that priests join the clergy for the sole purpose of abusing women and children. Perhaps it's a test of faith for many people, and if they overcome it, they might find their faith even stronger. Weakness is not a monopoly of the erring priests; you'll find in any church or religion, and among non-believers.
About celibate clergy, the Church has good reasons for requiring celibacy. I suggest you check out the reasons yourself. I think they are very sensible reasons. As a family man, you could imagine the pressures a married priest with a wife and perhaps six children who also has priestly duties - which are supposed to be round-the-clock. He might not be able to balance those duties - and many others besides. Women priests are ruled out by scripture. I'm afraid you'll have to ask Christ about that: even he did not have female disciples or ministers, although there was one deaconess, not a priest.
I prayed for you as I made this reply.

Answer 5

Dear hookerln,

First i want to say Praise God that your faith has remained strong.

Wanted to share with you some thoughts based on what you shared above and i hope that you will receive them knowing that they are coming from a Biblical viewpoint as well as just the care of a brother in the Lord.

First church is not about how we feel and church is not always about us. i understand how people can lose faith in a church- especially in light of some of the scandals. i myself am a Christian so it's hard for me to comment on some of the rules and rituals that Catholics follow because i don't find such rules in the Bible.

That being said: God is the object of our faith. And how we know God is through the Bible. The Bible has much to say about (See Hebrews 10:22-25) not forsaking our gathering together as some are in the habit of doing. Missing church is a habit- and it's not a good habit. One of the reasons the verse tells us that going to church is so important- is so that we can be an encouragement to others and vice-versa.

It sounds like if you have a problem with the Catholic church- then perhaps try a different church. But know the basis of that church- and suggest a church that is based on the teachings of the Bible.

As a youth pastor and a long-time Sunday school teacher i remember one particular Friday Night Bible Study where the teachers were given the night off (i was a youth group teacher then). While i valued the opportunity as i prayed i really sensed God wanted me to be there and on that night i had a conversation with one of my youth kids who was planning on running away from home that night- and had come to church to leave from there. It was a good reminder for me that church isn't always about what i get out of it- but is often about what i can give to others just by being there- and i find on some days that i really need the love and encouragement i receive from others.

That's a hard thing for you to find based on your feelings about your church. i suggest perhaps looking at a couple of Bible-teaching churches- perhaps attending a Bible Study before you join the church and i think you will find that God will have tremendous blessing for you through the people as well as the teaching- and will soon be using you to bless others and even teach a couple along the way.

Our Faith is about knowing God and being like God (in our actions and attitudes) and while it's great that your faith is not dead-- not going to church will make you a loner-type of believer who will eventually die out- because we all need the encouragement and love of other believers- that's why when Jesus sent the disciples out in the book of Acts- he sent them out in pairs. We can't walk with God alone and expect to stay the course very strongly.

Hope that helps. Kindly,

Nickster

Answer 6

Yes, you are a "bad Catholic", the church doesn't get your money if you don't show up for mass! An Episcopal church might be more of what you are looking for. It is very similar to Catholic and priests can get married.

Answer 7

Well, as a Catholic, you have an obligation to go to Mass every Sunday and Holy Day to worship God. It's not about you and it's not about priests and it's not about who does what or how happy anybody is or how serious anybody takes it -- it's about worshiping the LORD. So, if you miss intentionally, you are in a state of mortal sin and you ought to go to confession and immediately start going to Mass again. (Saturday Dec. 8 is the next Holy Day of Obligation, and then you go on Sunday again.)

You might consider trying different Mass times at your parish or a different parish altogether. You might find the Latin Mass to be more inspiring for your personal situation, and Pope Benedict XVI has encouraged it to be made available in every city. Simply telephone any Catholic parish in your area and ask if there is a Latin Mass, and if not, ask where there is High Mass being said.

I don't know what you mean about candles; we still have them at our parish and you can go in to light one and pray whenever you wish. When you're calling about Mass, you might ask where there is a church that still has votives.

You are certainly very right to be disappointed about the child predators posing as priests and that whole scandalous situation. But please go to the USCCB web site and read about the changes that have been made to correct this situation. A lot of good work is being done to increase the safety of all kids.

Regarding married clergy, that is currently a discipline and it might change some time in the future. However, marriage is not a "cure" for sexual crimes. In fact, most pedophiles *are* married -- they are most often the fathers and stepfathers of the victims. Pedophiles take roles in society where they will have access to children. They are found in clergy of all kinds, including married clergy, as well as school teachers, scout leaders, etc.

Currently, the priesthood is such a demanding role -- really 24/7 -- that men who feel called are asked to take a voluntary vow of celibacy. Nobody is holding a gun to their heads. They take the vow because they believe that serving God's church is worth the sacrifice of their hopes for a wife and kids. When people grow up and start doing more of the service work that God asks each of us to do, the burden of the priesthood will be lifted and perhaps then the rule will change and married priests will become more commonplace (there are a few now).

As far as women in the priesthood, I do agree that a woman can say Mass with the same love and devotion as a man, but that's not the issue. A priest is supposed to die to himself and live for Christ, "in persona Christi."

Now I say this as a woman. I think a woman trying to act "in persona Christi" is either purposefully or inadvertently saying something about Christ's masculinity. Same as if some great Hollywood director casting Meryl Streep as Abraham Lincoln would be saying something about old Abe's masculinity. It's not a slam to Meryl Streep to cast a man as Abe instead of her. She's still a phenomenal actress. But putting her in the role of Abraham Lincoln carries connotations that can't be avoided.

So it is with Christ. Christ came to us as male. His male-ness is an important part of His humanity. I can't help the fact that He came to us as a male, but since He did, we're stuck with it. So a person acting "in persona Christi" needs to reflect that maleness. It's a non-issue when you have a male priest acting "in persona Christi." But when you get a woman trying to be that -- it's all messed up. It's quirky or unreal or foolish or laughable or just plain wrong, depending on how she presents it. (I was Anglican before I converted to Catholicism, so I have a bit of experience with female priests.)

There are many, many roles for women in the Catholic Church. They are saints, they are Doctors of the Church, they are sisters, they are teachers, they are leaders, they are administrators, they are finance people, etc., etc., etc. The only role that they don't take is priest (just like men cannot be sisters). And that's okay. Because the priesthood is just about giving people the Sacraments. The true blessing is in RECEIVING the Sacraments, and women can receive baptism, confession, confirmation, matrimony, last rites, and most importantly the Holy Eucharist, equally to men.

Complaining about it is like complaining about the woman who was invited to a wedding banquet but not allowed to wait on the other guests!

Answer 8

if you have gone a year without fulfilling your easter duties (and i guess you must have if you don't go to church) then you are not a bad catholic - you are not a catholic at all.

if you didn't already know this, then you used to be a bad catholic.

the catholic church is about worshiping god according to the rituals he left on earth during his ministry here.

you seem to be about self-fulfilment.

your heart is not dedicated to the lord, but to your own self-realisation.

you are a protestant.

Answer 9

Sorry if offended, but you sounds like a GOOD muslim faith to me... only that you looked the other way around.

Al-Baqarah 1:111 - 113
[111] And they say: "None shall enter Paradise unless he be a Jew or a Christian." Those are their (vain) desires. Say: "Produce your proof if ye are truthful."

[112] Nay, whoever submits his whole self to Allah and is a doer of good he will get his reward with his Lord; on such shall be no fear, nor shall they grieve.

(113) The Jews say: "The Christians have naught (to stand) upon"; and the Christians say: "The Jews have naught (to stand) upon." Yet they (profess to) study the (same) Book. Like unto their word is what those say who know not; but Allah will judge between them in their quarrel on the Day of Judgment.

Answer 10

No, you are not wrong. Not at all.

The Kingdom of Heaven does not exist in massive brick buildings with stained-glass windows with some hocus-pocus set of rituals where people get together and know not what they worship. If you will be silent you will discover that the Kingdom is WITHIN YOU! Therefore, you do not have to go anywhere; and most of all, you do not need to spend any $ on state-incorporated systems that are specifically crafted and designed to destroy His Word.

http://www.embassyofheaven.com/