Is this a psychological disorder? What would it be called?

Question

I don't have much trouble interacting with people on a casual basis- engaging in small talk with people at work, school, etc. However, whenever someone tries to be my friend by sitting with me on a regular basis in class or in the breakroom at work, I freak out. My throat gets tight, I feel hot, and feel like I just can't get enough oxygen and start breathing heavy. I come up with some reason why I have to sit at the other end of the room if someone tries to befriend me. I am in my 20's now, and have not had a friend since I was about 6, just aquantences.

I do date, and have had several long-term relationships, but I constantly have this irrational fear of abandonment. My throat feels tight talking to guys I have dated for a while, and I often have sex to avoid talking. I try to have sex ASAP so I can have some company without having to talk.

Is this a disorder or just nuts? What's it called?

Answer 1

This is a bit odd because it seems like a combination of social anxiety and Borderline personality disorder. I can't diagnose you here because I don't know you or the whole story, but the internet can tell you a lot and you do need to get to a psychotherapist to talk it through. I'm in my 20s, too, and would hate to have to live with relationships like you do for the rest of my life.

First thing first, you need to look up both social anxiety and borderline personality disorder. You seem to have classic signs of both (but be weary because I don't know enough about you to tell you exactly what's up). Signs of social anxiety are as you described: irrational bodily reactions (fever, tight throat, can't breathe, etc) when in social situations, i.e. befriending others. However, the MAIN sign of Borderline personality disorder is a fear of abandonment. It's, in fact, such a big sign that you can almost diagnose it off the bat. Much of what you're doing (including the social phobia) could be due to that fear. You're so SO afraid of being abandoned that you can't even bear to move from friendship to acquaintance with people, and your body won't even let you talk with those you're getting close with. It seems like a very extreme reaction, but I suspect it may be due to Borderline.

Get informed about these two things and get into see someone immediately. You're not nuts at all and it's pretty treatable. I want you to live normally because I for one know what it's like to be emotionally miserable. I also know about destructive relationships and the sex thing you described...it fits me to a T sometimes. A psychotherapist would do wonders for you, and if you need anymore information or want to go into more depth about this with me, feel free to email me through my profile.

Answer 2

I'm not a psychological expert but I think maybe you should analyse yourself whether you had been rejected in your life before or had been rediculed in school days. You can even go to a councellor or psychiatrist to help you with your problem if you feel its crippling you.
But sex is not and never gona help you in the long run ,,, in friendship or in relationship, it definitely is not gona gain you any respect either. Try participating in group talk and stuff like that where you have to mingle with other people.

Answer 3

a phobia is a persistent irrational fear of a specific thing or situation strong enough to cause significant distress and/or interfere with functioning. This fear causes predictable anxiety when facing the thing or situation, often leading to avoidance. Over time; I feel, our bodies start to self medicate to"fix" what's not right. In your example, your body uses sex to "heal" the feeling of being uncomfortable with a feeling of pleasure instead. I think many of us can say we self medicate to surpress feelings we don't want to face. Drugs, eating disorders, over spending. We all have our ways to create temporary fixes to our worries. But definately, it sounds like your avoidance of the fear is creating a unhealthy lifestyle and maybe its time to try to face it. Possibly with the use of a therapists who can guide you safely through it. Try to face it slowly with just talking about it with a good listener and save meds as an absolute last resort.

Answer 4

It is neurosis. This is not a very serious disorder and can be overcome. May be you were neglected in your childhood or sometime in your life you felt that you are not being treated as you should be.

Keep yourself happy and engaged all the time. You can take some tranquilisers for a short period.

Answer 5

to me, it sounds like you are having issues with panic and anxiety... but we aren't doctors here, and can't give you a diagnosis....

no it doesn't sound like borderline personality disorder... not nearly.

fear of abandonment is very familar to me, too. getting to the root of this problem, facing your pain and fears might be a way to move forward and let it go...

it's taken you all your life to develop these problems, so it may take a while to start to recover... i think that you might consider a therapist...

Answer 6

It is you and is just fine . Enjoy life as you go . It seems you need a special person to be close to is all and that will happen if you relax. What you like is your way of life so be proud of it.

Answer 7

Try taking a personality test.

http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv

Answer 8

could be borderline personality disorder...