Regarding our wedding, my fiance stated that she must invite old friends because they invited her to their wedding. I see her point but at the same time, I really dislike them for a very good reason. It is true that they invited her to thier functions and were pals at one time, but also they were a horrible influence on her. They caused serious problems for her a few years ago and we, as a couple, are just getting through them now. It was very hard on both of us, to get through it, and everytime something reminds me of it I want to smash my head into a wall. Even my fiance's family hates those girls because thier role in what happened.
Also, they werent real friends, when my fiance was unable to keep in touch, they didnt even bother to check up on her; When we ran into them a few months ago they were so cold to her.
I understand my fiance feels obligated to invite them, but how do I deal with the fact that these vultures are going to be at the most special day of our lives?
2007-12-06 17:17:14 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
my first thought is to really plead your case. I would say 100% that there is absolutely no obligation to invite these girls whether they were invited or not. For instance, I was in my friend's wedding and she was upset that I didn't ask her to be in my wedding, (and we're still friends now), but I just explained to her that I already asked my girls. YOu might want to remind your wife of all the pain it will be to have them there and this is a ONCE IN A LIFETIME opportunity. It's YOUR (as in both of yours) day and the stress of their presence should not be added to what stress will already be there in planning. If pleading does not convince her than keep the girls seated way in the back - waaayy yaway from everyone so hopefully out of sight will be out of mind.
2007-12-06 17:23:19 · answer #1 · answered by christie 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Why in the world would your fiance want him there? Yes, it can be awkward to not invite people, but in this case you really shouldn't invite him. Your fiance needs to tell the coworker in a nice way that this is a mostly family, destination wedding and you had to cut back. Of course, if you are inviting other coworkers from the same place, that could make it a lot harder....either all or none, I suppose.
2016-05-21 23:23:57 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sit down and really talk with her. These people are no longer a part of her life and when they were they were a bad influence. Just because she was invited to their weddings doesn't mean she has to invite them to hers. She should only invite people who she believes have her best interest at heart and will be a positive influence on her.
If I were to receive an invitation to a wedding of an old friend I hadn't seen in years, I would assume that the friend wanted to renew our friendship. Do you really want to run the risk of these people reentering her life if they really were such a bad influence?
If you can't get her to see it that way and she still insists on inviting them, then let her. This really isn't something worth fighting over.
2007-12-07 03:48:25 · answer #3 · answered by Invisigoth 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Who cares if they are friends from the past and who cares if she was invited to their weddings! If they have caused all these problems in the past, and obviously haven't stayed close and never kept in touch, then dont even bother thinking about them. If they cant send an email or a make a phone call then they obviously dont care about her THAT much. The only ppl who should be there on your wedding day are ppl who love you guys and care about you. Have you ever heard the saying..
"dont worry about the ppl from your past, there is a reason they didnt make it into your future."
I think that saying is very appropriate for this situation.
good luck =)
2007-12-06 17:49:43 · answer #4 · answered by Mary 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your fiance is not obligated to invite people that have not kept up with her, or caused problems for the two of you. A wedding is to be shared with people that you love, and that love you. It is supposed to be the happiest day of your life. Why invite people that have caused you problems? They will surely know why they are not invited, and if they don't, don't be afraid to tell them!!! You don't want them as phoney friends anyway!! Make plenty of room for good loving people to come.
2007-12-06 17:25:18 · answer #5 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her about it honestly. Tell her how you feel, ask her if she really wanted them there even after what happened to you guys and how they played a part in why it happened. If she really wants to, then you have to get over it and find a different way to just focus on the wedding. Ignore it somehow. That's how mines will be. I'm inviting my best friend even though my bf and the best man hates her.
2007-12-06 17:21:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
She should not feel obligated to invite them at all. If she truly realises that they caused a lot of problems to you guys, she should be mature enough to make your wedding day exactly that... your wedding day! That's a day that you two should enjoy fully with not excuses. Talk to her about it and help her understand how important that is should be for the both of you, and how it would make you feel if her friends show up.
Good luck and enjoy your wedding day!!
2007-12-06 17:23:57 · answer #7 · answered by cancdental c 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Inform your fiance that just because she went to their wedding does NOT mean that it needs to be reciprocated.
Remind her of how horrible they were to you both.
State that you do not want them there, for reasons that happened in the past.
If she is doing it ONLY because she was invited to theirs, then that is NOT the right reason.
2007-12-07 13:21:21 · answer #8 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you havent sent out invites yet then youre still ok. If she doesnt want to invite them but feels obligated, then tell her to relax because just bc she went to their weddings doesn't mean she has to invite them. Friendships change over time and they prob don't expect to be invited anyway.
2007-12-06 18:01:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay...they might not even come. IF they do come, the amount of time you'll have to spend with them will be limited because you'll obviously have many others to visit with...no one expects to talk to the bride or groom for very long anyway, we realize they are busy and in demand that night. If they do come it sounds to me like very few people will even speak to them, which will make them leave sooner. If this is something that your wife is unwilling to budge about you'll have to accept it. You could try compromise and just invite them to the ceremony and NOT the reception...that's a fair trade. And if you're paying for the reception I can see how that would be a hard pill to swallow...forking out money for these bimbos to eat and drink....*ouch.
Good Luck
2007-12-06 18:58:38 · answer #10 · answered by laura1977 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋