How do I get past a "suck a**" life?

Question

I have a sucky life. Despite me being gainfully employed and having a college education, I hate the way I live. I realize that a lot of hangups stem from my past: being raised by a single mother, abandoned by my father and not completely accepted among mother's family.

I now live miles away from them all (by my own free will, hoping to have a new life and a fresh start). However, I realize that I am still a loser, "can't keep a friend if my life depended on it" (as told to me recently by a former friend of mine), and almost completely alone in life.

I really want to be happy. I don't know what to do. I try to be nice to others but no one ever seems to take me too seriously. I feel used a lot. How can I achieve a normal life? I want to have friends, happiness, marriage and children. These are normal things but for me I feel they are unattainable and impossible- no matter what I do. Please tell me self-remedies. I don't want to speak to a professional or take meds. Please help me!

Answer 1

I think you need workout. Go to the gym and try to lift some weights.

Answer 2

Part of it has to do with the way you see things in your life. When you're dealing with other people, you have to know that they might not all have your best interest at heart, and that some of them may want to use you. It's important to not lose faith in the human race and just keep plugging on looking for those true friends that you will encounter one day.

I think it's mean that your friend said that you couldn't hold on to a friend to save your life! :-( Even if that's the way your life seems to be right now, there is an explanation for everything. It might be the way that you're acting in life based on the way that you were treated. If you were treated shabily by people in your past, it's going to be normal to not trust too many people in the present and future. Even though you moved away from the immediate problem, you still carry it in your heart and in your head.

I think it would benefit you to talk to someone who understands this, but if you don't want to go to a therapist, then I understand.

How to move forward? Try opening yourself up without making yourself completely vulnerable. Maybe join some sort of local group in your community so that you can get together with the same people with your same interests every week. If you can, take a class. This will help open the door to new people in your life, and hopefully there will be people that you can depend on and turn to who might turn out to be friends. You just never know! :-)

Answer 3

Professionals are only allowed to tell you what is absolutely needed to get by. They may answer your questions accurately if you know what you are looking for. All society has been in two basic groups far a very long time. It is the basis or our society. Three quarters are what I call winner-players and the rest are loner or filler people . There are two vocabularies and all the rest of secret stuff a group needs to exist. If you don't know it then you are a loner and are sure to be depressed seriously in the future. If you want to be happy be safe in a safe place ...find a friend who is like yourself. Depression is all about friends and family. Just don't give up or go nuts.

Answer 4

i think you think in away like a loser know what i mean you have overcome alot and should treat yourself well. but you should also not focus on yourself so much and reach out to others. so many have suckie livies i won't name names. but consider the fact you have a job you have your health . is there anyway you can make friends at work? how about church? what hobbies do you like? i do notice this people who are needy others tend to run from. i will never know why cause they make the best friends . they are loyal and thoughtfull and all that. i think all of that will come to you . did you have a fallin out with that friend don't listen to what fomer friends say only want to hurt you. not build you up. alot of people came from broken homes in fact thats the norm now. just hold your head up and keep a good attitude.

Answer 5

Happiness isn't a constant state, it is fleeting. Sounds like you need to do some journaling, counseling and healing of the past hurts that are big ones that affect your present life.

Also, there are some great self-help books out there to assist you in your change. Take a look in a good book store for some titles that sound good and begin to rearrange things for the better. You can do it. It's called releasing the past and growing and maturing. Have a good time on your journey.

Answer 6

you sound pretty stressed hun..

therapy could really help with dealing with your past.. but there are some other ways if you're not interested in that..

the best depression/anxiety reliever i can recommend is exercise.. it takes your focus off what's bothering you and hey it's just good in general.. exercise also releases serotonin, dopamine and a few other nuerotransmitters in your brain.. serotonin helps you sleep and dopamine is related to pleasure and happiness.. those chemicals i just mentioned are the ones that your brain lacks when depressed.. exercise helps to balance them.. this has been clinically proven to work faster and longer than medication.. simply taking a twenty minute walk each day could really help..

exercise also releases endorphins.. the body's natural pain killers.. this is related to "runner's high"..

other than exercise you could try deep breathing, muscle relaxation techniques, meditation, yoga, listening to music, writing in a journal, or talking to a friend about it.. i also drink ungodly amounts of tea.. haha..

get a good social support network.. talk to a friend or family member about how you feel..

take time out for yourself each day.. to just reflect, relax, and settle your thoughts.. do things that relax you and that you enjoy..

warm milk also helps to produce serotonin.. so maybe drinking a glass before you go to sleep may help..

try to get at least an hour of sunlight each day.. this also helps to balance your brain chemistry and produces serotonin..

eat a healthy diet.. and drink lots of water..

get out a little.. do things you enjoy.. or try some new things.. this way you can get out of the house and meet knew people..

just try to make the best of things.. it may be hard, but it's essential to survive..

i really hope this helps.. and best of luck

Answer 7

hi you... i am sorry for how you feel about your life.. and probably you wouldnt like what i tell you.. but i am a girl who my life would be worth nothing if i hav'nt had Jesus in my life.. i kow that alot of people will be reading this and say CRAP!! but thats what gets me going.. i know that somethimes i get off track and do stuff Jesus wouldn't want me to do.. and i feel terrbile but everynight i pray.. just tell him about my fears,, problems.. about work.. i found a job now and i am SO BLESSED i am a nanny now and the parents are like a blesssing from heaven i can't have like Better bossess.. i am serious dont' get to church dont' talk to no one.. just go on your knees when you go to bed.. tell him your problems.. cry it wont hurt it would even feel good.. tell him what you want.. he will DO Whatever you want him to do.. trust him.. ok i hope everything goes good to you.. Alot of Love ...=)

Answer 8

Make yourself number one. Stop waiting for others to accept you and start to love yourself. Be kind to yourself and stop telling yourself that you are a looser. Be nice to yourself, Would you tell someone else they are a loser, no so why do your treat yourself that way? Find things that bring you joy and work only to satisfy yourself.